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Her body language
flirts, her smile reckons me.
****, she’s what I need.
quick one before my meeting
Aug 15 · 45
Greyed Ghosts
This summer, I peeked
under my bed
and dusted off the ghosts
of the past.
I took them out in the sun
and hung them out to dry.

Surprised the stench leaked
this far into my living. And instead
of looking under my skin,
I pondered on how long this blunt would last.
Burned my fingers
and scorched my shirt pocket fry.

During my coma,
I ran the halls of the sky.
Shirtless against the precipitation of life,
I came upon clouds
that were puffy and white,
black and charged,
and gray with strife.
nothing is purely white, nor purely black
but a shade a gray that you must unpack

work in progress. always open to feedback
Jul 28 · 469
Travel
Long train rides
into new experiences.
The budding mind grows
with external stimuli.
Reflection waters the mind.
gotta write dem thoughts down to make them real
Homebody for
five days a week: staying up
til late. P a r t y !
on Friday and drinks
&chips on Saturday. Shower
and mo(a/r)ning *** with kinks
on Sunday. ****, I have
to wake up early mañana.
Morning Person
ch3.
Jul 27 · 56
Morning notes
Writing down on blue
sticky notes -mental for
my working memory.
Morning person
ch2.
Jul 27 · 95
Morning person?
What's your morning plan
you morning peps champions
of the day's full worth.
Morning person:
ch1.
Jul 26 · 153
Stormy thoughts
I thought the storm had passed
and that wreckage had been avoided.
Against the current my whole pirate life,
uncaring of the opinions of others,
and focus on the rowing at hand.

The gray and thrilling sky
make the dark sea water seem ferocious.
The risk of lightning had never crossed my mind
before tonight when I suddenly realized I was alone
on a boat in the sea
and in the middle of a storm.

I steer with my left
and dump bucketloads of water with my other hand.
Focused on damage control
and ignorant to the the storm's prognosis
whilst my wooden mind struggles to stay afloat.

Row forth and onward.
This storm too shall pass,
and I'll come out stronger.
rough night
this is what I dreamt before I fell asleep
Jul 23 · 199
monday traffic: post 9-5
rush hour for thoughts 'waits
home's warmth and intimacy
that calms ones traffic.
does anybody journal?
any tips
Jul 20 · 184
Slap in the face
I found a map:

If you trynna bounce
and make it real high
you must cut the crap
cuz you'll encounter a wall.
It's a ******* trap
its meant to make you turn back.
You can stall, look in the mirror,
and
decide.
Dream big or settle.
Do stay within the stall
or do not. You will fail,
you will **** at what you do.
Decide:
do or do not.
Fall back
or risk your stack.

Must possess the  g u t s
to snap
at the top of the wall.
Make a plan
of action.
This is how the capitalist
rat race game plays out.
Beat fate's narration,
sacrifice your conformist
self, for the cherries of tomorrow.

Dare to dream,
while smoking a habanero
to Marley's mumbling
in a distant galaxy
out of thy life.

No one's sure where this map
leads, but prepare for the worse,
sharpen you swords,
meditate then nap.
Bring snacks,
slap some ***.
Be prepared to figure out your crap.

Wake up slap!
Not an angry poem.
Jul 13 · 113
The Pain in Trail Mix
Only way through is not by
self-medicating
or ignoring it
or succumbing.

Accept the pain
as it is the raisins in the trail mix
that is life.
#life #drugs #hiking #learn #raisins
I am the fly
stuck between the window glass and the panel.
today i grew tired of it:
**** THE SYSTEM!
Why must you pick on the chained souls that reside
in the lowest of pits,
and surround them in swamps of mercury.

Your tongue as sharp as your bodyguard's knife,
will the slaved souls of hell with your divine sovereignty.
The survival of the fittest became a capitalist race,
and w/out a second thought sold out your cousin's wife.
Your fraternity party
serves cheap beer and has buffets
of brutality on display.

Today I awoke, drank my daily of dose liquor,
and rallied behind those in chain.
#rant #capitalistRace #liquor #party #notbeer
#FuckTheSystem
sometimes you need to write down the things that make you mad
Mar 5 · 412
Migraines
I hold on to my sanity,
for it is all I've ever built.
I am searching for clarity,
for I refuse to wilt.
They come and go you know.
-I have been reading some Dante.
- I am trying to edit this,
Feb 26 · 363
Limbo
My heartbeat drops
-Fitbit flatlines-
Senses overheat,
I plummet and do not resist.
Feb 25 · 231
evil side
They tell me I'm bad at communication
and that i should voice my thoughts more often.

if i said everything that went through my mind
i would not have friends.
so i sit back and smile
while the evil side of me plans havoc.
Oct 2018 · 667
Do i dare
Espresso manic Oct 2018
They always said the sky is the limit,
But they never said how to get there.

When the twists of life tried to keep me down,
i ran away.
When they came back for me,
i packed my bags and ran.
The bags slowed me down and yet, i couldn’t leave them behind.

During my escape i planned my journey and met more travelers.
Their bags seemed as heavy as mine, but our grips were adamant to the load.
Eventually i dared to fly.
Flying was easy. Up in the air, where gravity’s pull is weaker
made my bags lighter, and I soar higher.

Did i dare fly too high? Did i forget about the bags?
Oh mama, no one told me to be careful of flying too high.
Now i’m back to running,
running for one more breath of pure air.
May 2018 · 146
Looking back
Espresso manic May 2018
Do you ever want to go back to the days in which your biggest concern was if your shower would be the right temperature?
Espresso manic Feb 2018
and the traffic in your life is terrible,
drive forth.

When the sleepless nights come,
and whiskey cannot inebriate the feels,
nor Tom Waits lull you home,
and your mind goes dark and deep.

When you find yourself feeling sad
and can't locate the epicenter of life,
when all is gone,
take a minute,
2 minutes,
6+(n-1) when n > 9,
and vent your feelings.

Let the real you out to play
and find meaning in the insomnia.
I too got lost in a maze -
retrace, map, and conquer - not sure where I'm headed
but I can see the sunrise.


                 .
For a friend. Or anyone in need of self reflective time.
Feb 2018 · 97
the hardest why
Espresso manic Feb 2018
there are so many whats you'll encounter,
and limited whos you'll love.

the wheres are infinite,
while the hows are arbitrary.

but the whys
they are so **** hard to answer

why must i choke on the truth
why must i be like this
why why why?

why are you the way you are?
what's your hardest why?
Mine is: why do I drink?
Nov 2017 · 408
Abstraction
Espresso manic Nov 2017
Art is an extrovert.

She goes out clubbing on Saturday nights,
scotch in hand,
indecisiveness plaguing her mind,
dancing ‘til her feet are numb.

She rings the tune of a
possessed conductor.
White dress, black collar,
I know her face,
but not her name.

From the bar I watch
her obsidian silhouette expand
as her skin becomes rose petals,
and her hips conduct the music.

She looks like a drunken mess,
arms flailing, heels bending,
but to the peculiar mind
she paints
an alluring picture.
Inspired by Phosphorescence by J. *******
i was out of motivation to come up w a better title
Oct 2017 · 186
bittersweet
Espresso manic Oct 2017
When giving up sounds sweet,
remember -

the bags under your eyes
the tears within your heart
the scars beneath your skin -

the sophisticated bittersweet taste of success.
it's a work in progress
Oct 2017 · 565
bite the bullet they said
Espresso manic Oct 2017
so i did.
i bit down the shaft,
as if it was my morning whiskey,
feeling the way the cartridge gave up under my teeth.

Every time my back ached,
i pressed down harder.
The bullet became my Achilles heel.
My life —> the arrow.

Until one day i felt the gunpowder on my tongue,
it made my mouth crackled and my tongue sour.
"Shhhhh," it said.
Calm and reassuring.

Bite the bullet they said,
I bit until i felt my molars grinding,
and my tongue blackened.
‘Til the bang marked the end.
This is most likely the ***** speaking
Espresso manic Jun 2017
i'll confess
i have thought about giving up a thousand times
i'm scared, lonely, exhausted

and every time i've been used like a punching bag
i've wanted to stay down
hoping that by ignoring the pain, that it'll go away

tired of routine, of commitment,
i wish i could stop caring,
but if i stopped, what would i live for?

so i get up everyday,
limping, hopping, crawling if i have to,
cuz one day it'll be worth it
for anyone who is struggling, keep grinding, one day it will all be worth it
Jun 2017 · 1.3k
Lovebirds
Espresso manic Jun 2017
Two birds took flight from the same tree,
one flew east, to Eurus’ realm,
in seek of warm lands and of the sunrise.
The other flew west, to Zephyrus' palace,
in search of the gentle winds.
Intending to get as far as possible from one another.

What they did not know,
was that the world was round.

— The End —