Jan 12 unnamed
get out of my head.

it's so painful to have you here
yet i'm always fighting for you to stay
so do me a favor
just get out
i know you don't care
you don't act like it
you ignore me
you neglect me
you reject me
and yet you said you loved me?

how could you?
to be honest..
how could i?
to fall for your lies...
i'm such a damn fool
why do i love you? it makes no sense
i have to block you for some peace, until i come crawling back in hopes of gaining your attention

it hurts so much
all of this,
caring about you.
i'm crying so much
i took my glasses off
i can barely see the screen on which i'm typing
almost like i can barely see my feelings as something important to you

i have so much to do
i even have a potential relationship
and yet i can't do any of it
none of it keeps my focus
because of you!
why can't you listen to my plead?
i don't know


before i blow you out with a bullet.
i needed to vent badly
  Jan 12 unnamed
I started to notice
I was no longer important
with every unanswered message
You always said
you didn’t have time
to talk to more than one girl
and when you took longer
and longer to respond
I learned  
you must be responding
to someone else much faster
You always told me
to never assume
anything about you
but I only pulled my assumptions
from things you told me
about yourself
You never thought I listened
but I did
I hung on to every word
The problem I am finding
is the words you’d given me
had loop holes
like the time you said
you’d always love me
and now you get everything you want
  Jan 12 unnamed
i want to know
how to unknow you
Tonight: I wish all of this, and all of some people, never happened. I am tired just for tonight.

  Jan 12 unnamed
What if one day, you wake up, realizing how much of an idiot you are for letting someone fool you yet you're still so head-over-heels towards that person.
  Jan 12 unnamed
Even without me
You'll just be fine

Even without me
You'll still be you

Even without me
You'll still smile

Even without me
You'll still feel glad
unnamed May 2017
I have a secret
I’ve kept to myself
since I first saw you

I have a secret
I don’t want to tell
but I want you to guess

I have a secret
Do you want to know?
I like you
  May 2017 unnamed
i can't go to a bathroom by myself,
the overcrowdedness sets me off
like a firework on new years.

the fear that bubbles inside,
panics me to the point
of not being able to breathe.

is this what my life is?
being afraid of being alone
in a crowded room?

is this what i have become?
a walking ball of anxiety,
afraid of merely existing.

it's a living hell.
why can't i just be okay?
i wish i was okay.
boy, what a horrible day it was.
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