Today I sailed
As we did,
I sailed at sea
As we did,

The sea was kind
And the wind was playful
As they were to us,
As we were once
With one another,

I sailed with someone else,
Someone new
Who had not sailed before,
But trusted me

She was scared of capsize
But trusted the odds,
My forty years experience
And a single tip

These had to be
Good odds of staying dry
And enjoying
A day without swimming

But my confidence
This time was misplaced
The wind and sea
Had other ideas

And so in the midst of Weymouth Bay
Where once I would have sailed with you
A windward capsize
Broke my pride,

A rudder broke my head
Cold shock broke my will
And a boat sailed beam ends
Away from me

But another day and fiercer wind
And a hard pressed persuasion
Found us asail once more
With others

This time we were whooping
This time all went well
This time my skill returned,
And I am
Over
You

Trains and their journies
Come in all shapes
And indeed
All sizes,

Mine was six feet
And three inches
Long and maybe
Wider than should,

It ran at various
Speeds and with
All sorts of success
And indeed of failure,

I guess a few first class
Carriages and a load of thirds,
With a well crammed
Car of baggage,

Arguable the quality
And standard of the journey too
Yet never mind it's aims,
That departing platform one?

That service once
Was James

Death they say
Is the great leveller,
Claiming rich and the poor,
The good and the bad,
Every race and creed and gender yet

They never mention
The release engendered
By that final diagnosis,
The expert's
"I'm afraid I have bad news",

No time no point in worrying more,
Nowhere to run and
No place to hide,
No more to say,
No bargain to be struck,

Just knowledge that the
World will still be turning
But I have no task left
Beneath the sky,
But to pen this verse and then

Just die

Who knew how much,
Indeed how well
I loved you?
You didn't,
They didn't,

Who knew I would have
Given up my all?
Indeed in fact I was so doing?
You didn't,
They didn't,

Who knew that behind
My flawed action was
Not a jot of cynical or sinister motive?
You didn't,
They didn't

Who knew it was real,
And true and forever
My love?
You didn't,
They didn't

Who knows it's irrelevant now,
Too late for that reconciliation
I dreamed and prayed for?
Who knows I'm dying?
Ah,
Just me

When we were together
There were ballbearings
In our lives and in our poetry
And in mine in latter days
One huge one with
Mass unarguable,

That ball of steel moved
On glistening rails,
No more sped up than slowed,
Proceeding on its way
Towards a life or solution
Beyond our ken

When the ruckus hit
And brown hit fan we might
Yet have overcome as it's a huge ball
Capable of squashing any
**** in our road
Yet you suddenly are gone

And I do not get how
You escaped the bearings path,
It and we were set for good
Yet here you aren't,
You're on a different track
With smaller bearings now

And seem unaware you ever saw
That sweet gleaming steel
That bound us once,
But that is you and you
Are weak while I remain
Ballbearing bound

I used the wind alone
Just me in my boat
And savouring every second
Of solitude,
Every ounce of effort to
Master the elements,

Then you came and suddenly
I was unfaithful to my solitude
And unfaithful to the wind,
I savoured the sight and sound
Of you as crew and sense
Of shared endeavour,

But sharing did not last
And you are no more my crew
In any sense at all,
And sail was spoiled by you
Not there nor was mine own
Company sufficient,

But the wind was kind,
The wind saw,
The wind understood.
The wind was loyal to my heart,
And the wind - the wind
Was waiting

Loyalty flies in the face of sense
While love and friendship
Makes a fool of self
And self comes second

Well you were not worth
My loyalty nor me as friend,
Well my self is first now
And repairing a life un-maintained,

It may be a slow process
And it may take pain
But this is MY life *****
And it's mine again