The monsters were never
under my bed.
Because the monsters
were inside my head.

I fear no monsters,
for no monsters I see.
Because all this time,
the monster has been me…!

They say that I’m
Too much to
Handle

Yet they never seem
To handle me with
Care

They say that I’m
Unable to
Trust

Yet they break it the
Moment I’m not
There

They say that I’m
Far too
Insecure

Yet they won’t
Help me
Heal

They say I’m
Cold and
Uncaring

Yet they ignore
What I
Feel

They say that I‘m
unable to
Listen

Yet they are the
Ones who can’t
Hear

They say I’m
Afraid of
Love

Yet there is
so much to
Fear...

she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.

Love saved my life
It wasn’t long ago
when I received the call
I remember it like yesterday
It was bed time
ready to crashed when the
township called
expressing my brother had expired
someone had took his life
shot him in the head
At that very moment
my entire life shattered
into a million pieces
nowhere to be found
Quickly I rushed to
the hospital in the
hope maybe he was
still breathing, still moving
but the outcome
was everything but that
Few days after
we’ve put him to rest
in his last resting place
he was only nineteen
Felt like a dream
refused to believed
i prayed to God
to not allowed it  be true
when I awake
day dreaming
But sooner and later
you always always
have to wake up
Hatred strengthened
to a point
I was ready for war
with whomever involved
Strapped ready to fight
when I realized because
of my faith this wasn’t
the way for I’ll rot in hell
Not long after
depression  kicked in
started hearing voices
all through my head
Voices
I didn’t recognized
whispering to me
It was time to joined him
meaning
my brother to a better place
I remember
I sat in my car
with my glock clacked back
against my temple
ready to pulled
the trigger
when my phone
vibrated  and said
It was from love
I decided to answered
and told her my story
had no more desire
to live This was
my good bye
Then I started crying
and she cried along with me
and prayed with me
tell me to come home  
she’ll make this better
she didn’t want to lose me
in a word
she was carrying my son
which I’ve heard
for the first time ever
It was at that moment
when  my life started over
a clean slate at a new life
and still today
our love has
grown stronger
she showed me the
love I always needed
this  woman is the
reason I did not drown
In my depression
In my sorrow
In my anger
Everyday she came
looking for me
I knew how blessed
I am to have her
in my life today
This is my reason
I care for those
Who haven’t find
love and have no one
to call their own
Because truly I truly
don’t know what
would I do today
without my wife
in my life for
She is my treasure
and the reason
this is my reason
I’ll always choose
          Love

My death will be liberating.

And I do not say that in the sense
that I am going to find a cliff
and take a good jump off.

No.

I am just trying to find a
clever way to tell you

that I do not know what is going
to happen next.

You see,

there is a
fine line
between
dreaming and
mortality

and

I am finding out for myself
that being in love
does not always
involve

being awake.

And for my sake
I fall in love with daydreams,
nightmares,
hazy realities
and

the hung-over idea

of not being enough.

It is all out of my hands.
                 It is all out of time.

And the only thing I have left to do,
now,


is decide.

I prey on this depression.
Twisted thoughts in my head
Drowning in my emotions
I want out.
I want to let go of these feelings.
Lock them up and throw away the key.
My mind can’t take it anymore.
Am I going crazy?
I search for pain.
I almost crave it.
My demons are my only friends.
Maybe this is why these feelings won’t go away.
The darkness brings me peace.
No one around.
No one to disappoint.
Just me.
I let the darkness take over years ago.
The demons took over a once happy and bright woman.
Now I’m twisted and dark.
All I see is pain.
This pain... it is a sickness.