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T'yana Thomas Jun 2018
Fighting that person in the mirror
Flashbacks of your future is what’s feared most
Why couldn’t you standup
Why are you so silent


No one can hear you
Are you really going to allow this to happen
I guess so cause like a coward you’ll crawl back into that bottle
Drink away the Shame caused by pain
Knowing this is temporary satisifation

Here’s your chance to seek help
Although it’s tough and heart felt
As you begin to think to speak
Your drowning in water with stones tied to your feet

Because you truly need this help
Too embarrassed to say
I stood up walked out because I didn’t want you to find out this way
  Oct 2015 T'yana Thomas
My heart is not a product
to be rejected by you
just because
its seal is broken
T'yana Thomas Oct 2015
Looking into my own eyes
I see what others try not to see

Others just see a beautiful face
And by the way I carry myself and dress
They assume I grew up in a wealthy home

Look deeper
I've been through life
(Days with no food, Molestation, Kidnapped, Beatings, Hardworking, and etc)
I just chose not to let it eat away at me

This girl (Me) has cried so many tears
And has worn this huge rock on her shoulders for so long she knows God has something so precious for her at thee end

Looking into my eyes
I am a strong woman
T'yana Thomas Oct 2015
Overcame just about everything in life

Mothers death was the first
Raising five younger siblings
Clothing Bathing Cooking and so much more
With God I stood strong. I was only 10 years old.

Fathers abuse was second
He really showed me what wasn't love but I felt in my heart I was showing grace by understanding his frustration over his deceased wife.
The beatings (Slaps Kicks Punches Abandonment). The Blood. The sadness.
His loud threats. Words that were mistreating. The pain.

Yet I love this man but can't find respect for him.

Started off as not caring for nobody.
As I matured into this woman I started to want this thing called Love.
I was afraid because I felt I didn't know how.  
Come to find, that I love and love well but I'm receiving a cycle of being mistreated..

I'm still standing  Strong
T'yana Thomas Sep 2015
In a dark place
where everything use to feel so perfect

Lips are Silenced
where words held meaning and use to be spoken

Two of us we gathered
where the world may have thought we could've been broken

but ......

here's where deception came
and disappointed the both of us.

Forgiveness was given
Promises were in order
Until they became broken again

How could I trust thee untruthful
or look in the eye of someone who cant look into mine (Thee Cowardly)

My mental thought of you as mine everything but NOTHING'S TAKEN for one day you won't just see you shall understand what this could have been
What happened to the child,
the one that smiled all the time?
What happened to the boy,
that made the sun shine?

I don't know why I feel,
the way I seem to.
Buried in my grave, alive,
don't know what to do.

I've spent years and years,
listening to doctors say I'll be fine.
But that doesn't really mean,
I'm alright.

If I believe in the doctors,
swallow all the pills they say,
will there ever come a day,
I finally feel okay?

I wish I was taller,
My heart hurts,
I'm emotionally unstable,
don't sit across a table,
or a room,
and tell me about my mind.
Don't sit there and tell me,
I'll be fine.

I'm afraid of myself,
of being alone,
I have no home.

I fear the disease,
it eats at me,
and I can't stop it.

But if I keep a smile on my face,
if I wake up to a new day,
that's good enough for me,
that gives me a little faith.
Copyright Barry Pietrantonio
T'yana Thomas Jan 2015
I feel like an opened book with various huge words that no one understands.
Here I am telling you exactly how I feel but you completely ignore it because the words I chose was the truth.
Flooding me with the I love you's and the good memories that you thought would change my mind-my feeling remains the same
I wish you could just leave it at our goodbyes instead of making me seem so cold .
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