Two Parts of a Broken Heart

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

Have you ever tried to flex your heart to make sure it was still in your chest?

Everytime you tried to choke down what was hurting you, you realized it didn't matter anymore.

Lately, I've been doing okay. Except when the night starts telling secrets to the dawn so I have to make sure they don't whisper your name.

Please, don't worry about me though. Just focus on being happy.

Maybe one day, things will be in a place where you can see a shadow and smile without swallowing shards of glass.

E**ven though I promised to always be here, it will **** is both if I stay. I'm so sorry.

Help me.

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

The night sky hurts my eyes.

It's early in the evening but I'm so tired it feels like the late hours of the night. I have a cup of tea in one hand and a cigarette in the other and I can't even look at the stars because they remind me of your eyes.

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

Week 3.

I stared at my phone screen,
Waiting for you to reply.
With the soft winter breeze blowing through my heat filled room,
I could almost mistake this day for summer.
With you in your ray bans,
And me in my aviators.
I want to sit in a meadow of daisies
by the river,
watching you pick the petals from the stem.
And hear you laugh like sunshine rays tumbling down my skin.
It isn't only until just now,
That I realized that this is not
Summer,
and we are not laughing anymore,
And nothing is easy.
It is hard and I miss you..

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

I miss you. So ******* much.

I don't want the pain,
of saying your name,
Anymore.
When you come knocking on my door,
How can I implore
You?
I can't listen to music,
Every drug,
I use it.
Every night,
I ***** it.
I drink
I smoke
I cut
I joke
I sleep,
I've woke.
Don't dream.
Please.
Wake up,
Scream.
You're in my eyes
You're in my mind
I can never seem to find
The numbness,
I rub it.
My chest,
The pain.
My heart
is slain.
I'm just a plain jane,
And you're everything.
I've wanted.
I spotted,
You
From across the room.
It's you.
It's always been you,
And I don't know what to do.

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

I let the music take me over.

I let the music take me over,
soak into my skin.
I let the music take me over,
and wash away my sins.
I let the music take me over,
sometimes way too loud.
I let the music take me over,
as gentle as a cloud.

Wash away my worries,
take away the lies.
Brush off all my bruises,
the tears fall from my eyes.
Seldom, I am happy.
Though it makes me feel that too.
Mostly it takes me deeper,
in my empty part of two.
It makes me feel so numb,
but it makes me feel such pain.
It cuts off all my senses,
or sends them rushing to my brain.
So many greats are writers,
just like you and I.
So many writers are nobody,
who give me my wondrous high.
It doesn't matter who you are,
Just listen with your ears.
It doesn't matter what is wrong,
washing over all your fears.

I let the music take me over,
soak into my skin.
I let the music take me over,
and wash away my sins.
I let the music take me over,
sometimes way too loud.
I let the music take me over,
as gentle as a cloud.

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Jan 2014

I want to shoot my selfishness in the head, unfortunately it lives in me.

Raging, staging, contemplating and waiting.
Bleeding out seeds from knees that heed not one thing
****** up.
Roughed up.
Rain Falling from eyes that sting
Sing
Of heart ache of heart break
Starving
Silent.
Why vent.
Holding on to hell
They call it life
But it's not, it's a well
Can you tell
From the smell
Of broken dreams and torn seams
And wrists bleed and ghosts seen
Compassion snapping
Planes crashing
Sea water splashing
Waves
Waves of pain
Of shame
Of heart break
Of tear stains
Insane
I am
Always will be
Always reeling
Always sealing
Lips closed
I know
That you know that I'll go
Chest snow
Chest dust
Chest rust
Hollow
I swallow
I try
I swallow
I breathe
I see
I bleed
Never dying, always crying
Always trying always spying
Why're you lying
Fear
You see her
But don't see her
I don't see her
But I see her
Happiness
Not mine
But it's fine
I don't mind, to die
But why is it so slow
Why must I go
I don't know
All I am is bad
All I am is sad
I'm so sorry I get mad
You don't deserve to be treated bad
My heart breaks
Millions of pieces
Of your name
In blood stains
This story is all the same
I'm just trying to show you
That I am insane

Two Parts of a Broken Heart Dec 2013

All Who Remain- Beware of Darkness

Tell the one above He's a criminal,
taking and giving life like marble candy.
Everything collapses around me,
overwhelms and astounds me,
a terrible truth.

When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
And the light you gave,
the human race will go away.

I see you everytime that I close my eyes,
I hum every lullaby
that she used to sing.
You never know the last time you see someone,
so give them all of your love
cause they'll disapear.

When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
And the light you gave,
the human race will go away.

if I can't have you in this life,
then I don't want this life at all.
Cause there's nothing else in this broken world that I'll ever, ever love as much.

I call and I call but you never picked up;
And I cried and I cried and you never woke up!
You died, you died without asking me first.
You left me all alone
here on Earth.

*When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
When you leave this life,
the world will be a darker place
for all who remain.
And the light you gave,
the human race will go away.