She wears it with grace
The stain on her lips
Like the pain on her soul

It was in a bar
Not unlike the one I was sitting in not two days ago
We talked all night
I was whipped
Swept of my feet
In heartbeat
I wondered why my heart hurt so bad last night
Like a painful bruise on the side of my mouth I couldn't help but lick my lips
Feel the blood invade my senses
I wonder if you realize
I get lovesick in buses now

I know things you'll never know
I know how my heartbeat stops when I lie in bed
I know the smiles on my family's face when I tell a joke
I know the breaths I hear in the silence aren't mine to waste
I hold my breath
And look around
Waiting for angels to appear
They said,
Hold your breath and watch the angels
Suffocation is the only way
To see things you would never even- in your wildest dreams-
Open your eyes to an alternate reality
Gag your mouth and tie the knot
Wait
Just
…
Wait
…
Can you hear?
Your heartbeat?
In your throat?
The angels are rising from the dead
They come to visit you
Will they take you?
Will they help you… out?
Can you hear?
Your heartbeat?
Is running out of… time?

I never know if when you say goodbye
It will be the last time
Your voice is an echo in my head
But I don't know where it's coming from
You never told me you loved me
And I think that's because you never did
But even if it's a lie
I wish it was "I love you"
Pulsing in my ears
Instead of "goodbye"

You called me ****
and I laughed

Because I am so much more than that

-h.w.

I wanted to yell out my feelings for you, get up on stage and profess my eternal love for the soul your body hosts. But she would always be around you, guarding you from people who only wanted to love you right.
So I found other ways to be with you.
In the silence I found ways to love you louder than I ever thought was possible.
The little smiles on my face when you said something I thought was funny.
The longing glances at your profile when you weren't looking, memorizing all of you in the corners of my head.
Furtive eye contacts to remember what it felt like to drown in you.
The one hug a night I get to give you when I see you under the pretence it is what I do to everyone. I do it to everyone because I want to do it to you, not the other way around.
Writing letters after letters after letters I will never send you.
I loved you quietly, so quietly, you never noticed.