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I'm falling in love with someone I've never been able to touch.
our morning coffee
our books
our music
~ our silence ~
your arms around me
the warmth
your eyes
your smile
~ the light ~
my joy

our yesterdays
and
tomorrows

Things I have texted you in my mind, or how to be a grown up and **** it up:
1. Pretending I do not exist won't make me disappear
2. You have let me drown for weeks and I thought a nineteen years old boy would understand the need for a conversation. You cannot hold my head underwater and expect me to breathe like you are not suffocating me in your absence.
3. You twist me around your finger and pull away, expecting me to just unwrap myself and let you go. Do you know what happens when you wrap someone and pull? They break. You are slowly breaking me, twisting my feelings too tight to inhale life again.
4. Imagining I do not exist does not mean I am dead.  
5. But perhaps if I try hard enough to do the same thing it will make you disappear.
I am now clinically insane.
Or in much kinder words, lovestruck.

You are my serotonin.
My current favourite drug.
It is all
up to
our
discretion.

That is,
simultaneously,
our greatest gift
as well as
our greatest curse.
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