Einstein said "a man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be."
And so I write you this last poem,
To tell you I have opened my eyes
And realized we were both feeding on the illusion
She would love you
You would love me
And I can see things for what they are
I will never find my happy ending
In a heartbreak
So I know what I have to do
Say goodbye
And move forward
Leave my heart behind myself
In case you stumble upon it and decide
To pick it up and bring it to me but
I have to say goodbye
I need to say goodbye
And take a step forward
Leave my love for you behind
And though I wish you would see
And though I wish you would choose me
What I think does not matter because
What is is painful
And I am tired of the pain
I just want happiness
The way you gave it to me once
But cannot provide any longer
So I have to say goodbye

(I just wish I could say it out loud)

*goodbye

I want a love that changes the world
The way I view it
I want a love so deep the deepest ocean would seem shallow in comparison
I want an all-burning love that makes me pity the stars for looking at the moon when the true star is the sun.
I want a love like the sun.

You were my sun, and you eclipsed my world.

*Now I live in darkness.

Your name is written across my bed
And I cannot sleep in the same room
For fear you will invade my dreams
And when I wake up your hand will be nowhere to be found
And you are gone
You are gone
You are gone


You are gone.

She stole your heart and the rest of you followed
Looking for it in all the wrong places
I captured a piece of our memories in my hands
The ones you gave to me, and the ones I stole from you
I put in a box in my heart
Like the poems I wrote in my head
I keep them warm and loved
For you to one day remember
Each night I look at them and let them shine a little
Let them hope a little
Hope you will come knocking
And all the memories will burst alive
So you'll realize
I can carve you a brand new heart
A brand new love
And maybe you'll learn to love me
As much as I do you

You play him
You lead him on
But I know you feel threatened by me
For uttering a rude comment about me
When I walk by
It only makes me smile
Because I know you know
I never made him cry
I only made him smile
And I have never broken him
The way you did so many times
He came to me and said "I want to die"
Three minutes later he was laughing
I made him forget how you hurt him
Because I am the band aid to his pain
And if I can never be more than that
I will be content with healing the wounds you inflict
For as long as he'll have me but I know
You are threatened because I am the better choice
I am honest and trustworthy and I would never hurt him
And though he cannot see
How good to him I'd be
Because your hands are holding his face
In fear he'll turn around and see me
I swear I will stand here for as long as needed
Until your hands get cramps
And your face crumbles to reveal the person you are
Your fingers will fall and he'll turn around
I will be here to see him move away from you
And closer to me

I have ran away for so long
Always wondering if he would follow

When I was 12 I ran on the other side of the courtyard
Blushing because he knew I loved him
And crying because he'd laughed and brushed it away
He did not follow

When I was 15 I ran on the other side of the world
On another continent for a year
Because he was enjoying the destruction he caused in me
Complimenting me to tear me apart
Talking to me to ignore me better
Looking at me to make me feel special
And kissing another girl while staring into my eyes
So away I ran
And follow me he did not

When I was 18 I ran back into my house
Rushing to leave yours
Because after stealing my lips and my heart
You told me you had a girlfriend and wouldn't leave her
You betrayed her and made me a mistress for a day
I loved you and hoped you would turn around
But your back is the last memory I have of you
Like all the others you never followed me

When I was 19 I ran away on the beach
Pretended I needed a walk
Smoked a cigarette and drank too much
Because the girl in your arms you had just met
Had made of her lips your new home
You saw me leave and you
Waved me away

When I was 20 I
Stopped running away
I am standing right here
And if you decide one day
You are tired of being played with
Treated like a ***** secret
And thrown away when convenient for her
Please remember
I am standing right here
And I am not going anywhere

You told me you were glad
I had taken a chance on you
You told you would love
To have me at your house
You told me to feel free
To stay as long as I wanted
You told me I could be your friend
Only if you could be mine
You told me you would be there
Whenever I needed someone to talk to
***** data roaming
You told me to shout really loudly
If I could not reach you another way
You told me I wasn't a fool but if I was
I was your kind of fool
You told me you couldn't believe I couldn't dance
Because we were the best dancing partners
You told me that if you brought the best in me
Then the best was pretty ****** amazing
You told me it was hard being us
Always so awesome
You told me you liked having me there
In the same bed as you
You told me the both of us
Made a pretty good team
You told me you did not intend on stopping
Talking to me, laughing with me
You told me you would teach me anything
How to cuddle and whatever I wanted
You told me you would take me to the beach
Because I had not yet been
You told me you would take me to do something fun
Whenever I would get some free time
You told me we made a great team…
… Unless we were playing Monopoly
You told me you would come and try the cheese nan
If I came and tried your fondue
You told me you liked staying up
Just so you could talk to me
You told me you were glad you took the ferry
To meet me a universe away
You told me we would make a perfect team
I could be the olive skinned French beauty, and you the eternal white Englishman
You told me I was too lovely
You told me you would come and get me
Even if you had to walk to get to me
You told me you wanted to go to Venice
And asked me if I wanted to join you.

You told me so many beautiful things and for that I am so grateful
You made me smile so many times
You made me happy every day
For a while
Then you forgot I was alive but I still have the memories of us
In my mind, next to the could have been drawer
Where all the things we could have done, could have been,
Lay still in silence.
You told me so many beautiful things and I
Believed them all.
You made me believe I could fall again.
You broke my heart but you made me believe,
And for the next one who will come along
I will open my heart wide open
Because you made me believe I could,
Maybe,
Love again.