Theyre one in the same for you to adore
You promise youll love them until you get bored
You call them a ***** until you call them a *****
To tear out their innocence is all you wish for

Your intentions stay true to those who came prior
You say your love is forever, but you're only a liar
The love you exclaimed was only a ruse
Leaving them feeling a melancholy blues

Their intimate gardens you rudely invade
You and the rest of your callous brigade
You value not the gift they bestow
Only the pleasure of your underwhelming fellow
Collecting the flowers, sacred in nature
Only to leave, becoming a stranger

You are both unpleasantly confined
To bear each others miserable minds
Bound forever by your rings
Based off out lived summer flings

One bares his ire upon the other
Breaking the faith of you, my mother
Impotent you are, left destitute
You've learned to sacrifice dignity for mute

But he gains no complacency
Instead he grows further empty
Forcing away the only being
Who once gave life so much meaning
You both are trapped in desperation
So close yet far from seperation.

It comes at night
Terror grows in lack of light
Minds run rampant, compelled by fright
Of fear's omnipresent might

The hearts pounding rings in ears
You supress your precious tears
Unaware if it may hear
Giving life to all your fears

Oh so fragile is the mind
Of it's power we are blind
For it creates this fear of ours
Which comes to us in midnight hours
Trembling we will await
To what next it collates

How deep does your happiness go
Through the skin you must burrow
With sharpest razors to make you bleed
Searching for the pleasure you so need

Satisfaction runs through your veins
Yet it's release leaves you drained
Your red water streams present euphoria
While the scars leave you in paranoia

Your arms speak volumes of desolation
Written with thirsty razor serrations
Whether frequent or far between
You seek bliss in its iron sheen
What a shame your happiest dreams
You believe lie at the end of the stream

Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
Find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

I am tired
of abandonment issues
the exit wounds
being torn through
left bereft
with holes
and scars
shallow breaths
and worn out beats
a broken heart

For once
I just want to be held
and not put down
not let go
but treasured
kept
swept
off my feet
cherished

All my friends
seem to have come and gone
I feel so alone
Lonely
Always second
a hand-me down
Never first
an afterthought
sought after
only out of convience

It hurts
worse each time
I break open
to let someone in
only to be shut out
by them in the end
Again and again
the third wheel
spinning tirelessly
circling the drain
swallowing pain

When will they notice
that I am shambles
bleeding from the inside out
internal wounds
Hemorrhaging
from all the cuts
the back stabbing
Is it really that hard
to love me
to see me
accept me
for who I am?

I know Im quiet (introverted)
and awkward at times
high on anxiety
lowered to depression
but funny too
sweet and kind
intelligent mind
heart more courageous than a lion
loving fiercely mankind
Yet everyone leaves me
in the back of the car
like a crying baby
forgotten in her booster seat
in Summer heat
dying from neglect

Alone
Always alone
Please
Somebody
find me
A home
I want to belong
to someone
other than myself
to be the lover
of another
and be loved in return

One day
I wont have to try
so hard to be relevant
cared for/about
by the very people
I've come to adore
beg for attention and time
In time
I will find my tribe
kick off my shoes and relax in my socks
by the fire place of warmth
my soul embraced and loved

No longer the one calling out
to hear only a dial tone
or answering machine
receive no response
No longer will I walk
as the wind
nor be the waning moon
an empty shadow
silent company
of leaves and trees
hollow
A bystander
A dead end
or one way street
the ghost unseen
someone who no longer exists
in their world

One day
Ill finally find myself
at home
right where I belong

i want to feel your lips on mine
hands on my skin
like the coming of a tide
running over my flesh
and washing away the worry

i want to touch you
a way that you have never felt
betraying a hunger that only i will ever provide you

for i am the fire that your mother tried to protect you from
but i am also the foothill you will peacefully lay your head on

I came only to watch one person eyes open and peeled.
The Blonde Bombshell was her name and O, what power did she wield!
One look and the explosion of her beauty could soften any heart of steel.
I knew nothing of softball besides the name,
but the blonde pitcher inspired me to change my game.
As I watched she seemed nervous on the softball mound.
Her first few pitches practically never left the ground.
The game continued and she pitched better in each inning.
Each throw as beautiful as she was and secured her team in winning.
She looked more confident as she began to smile.
Sending each batter back to the bench crying like a child.
As I prepared to leave I waved my farewell.
To a blonde beauty who looked and pitched exceptionally and gracefully well.