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Shiloh May 2019
Whenever I revisit this
Finding myself frozen stiff
Free of time, where is my mind
Sickened by the simple fact that
You lied.

Giving you my tedious sympathies
When you thought I didn't know
While still revealing parts of me
That let my colors show

I watched it all from your backstage
Drawn to the drama, such intrigue
I can't deny, it felt sublime to be on your side
But then the clock was ticking...

For not too long, we weren't too strong
Before you started to bare your teeth
To show the world how cruel you are
Yet you are dull and bald and desolate.

At no moment was I surprised
So before you think you were a threat,
or some kind of warning
I hope you know it took not even one whole morning
To mourn losing
The idea
Of you

Assuming you were hidden well
Behind a curtain that you crafted
With thick fabric and the smell of smoke
Magic tricks and beanie caps
Actually turned out to be
Vacant and transparent spells

So don't you forget
I have stepped into your dark
Stuck and sticky with your tar
When your concern left you smitten
Thinking that you would stay hidden
Saying you could never lose me
Well I have seen the jejune you
And if I tell you my truth

There is simply nothing there.
The best thing that could have happened to you
was that this rhymed.
Shiloh Dec 2018
here I am
supposedly waiting
no idea what for
getting distracted by
silly sentimental giggles
tickling what I keep inside me
serenity spinning on the merry-go-round
surrounded by love reaching out
pass the hits by fingertips one by one
I close my eyes
barely surprised
as a kiss touches my lips
2013
Shiloh Nov 2018
One day the sun and I rose in synchronicity
and I stretched up as the light shone down
warming the cracks along my back
from everyone who broke me.

Suddenly it came on strong
the flowing knowing of why I am alive
I speak it as my truth because I can't make this **** up
but I caught on to this notion while the pieces make up all I am.

With you it was the first time in life I could breathe easy
as if I could lean back, close my eyes and finally relax
Noticing all the right small things
I knew you saw me, who I was and could be.

I thought I could trust it because it was imperfect
my secrets glimmered in the dark and you crawled there too
that even though we didn't choose to be human
we could find solace in choosing each other.

I'm not one for being out in the open
my way is to keep my feels on lock and throw away the distraction
then you introduced me to encouragement
and like you and sleep deprivation I was done.

It's all about perspective
I learned you were the light and I the reflection
you act as if I could extract you
to go back to before we met.

Someday I hope you realize I can't just choose love
I am love, unequivocally, eternally, inside and out.
Shiloh Oct 2018
Just a simple



I miss you



Would be nice.
Shiloh Sep 2018
The walls are dry and strong
I test them with tentative fingers
as if they could hold up my insecurities
But my knees
are beneath
all I feel
is weak
and I just
want to sleep
until you tell me you love me again.
Shiloh Oct 2017
I can barely breathe
the passion is dripping
past my defenses
I wish I could tell you

it has never left.

Even though you did
not once but twice
and picked up the pieces
walked over the stones

in your path that we kept.

You made something new
to be honest I'm jealous of you
I wish I could distance
myself and my heart

but I've still only wept.

Yet I hope for the best
I crave that you say
words that need to be said
take the lead,

for my love has never left.
Shiloh May 2017
Still can't sleep at night
Something keeps me going
Lingered in the moments
Traced back in my thoughts

I can taste it with my fingers
But the reason why escapes me
Slips away so slowly
But somehow focus only

On how lonely
I've been allowed to become
Obsessed with
The last vestige

Of the happiest I have ever been.

So knowing how long it takes
Calculating all the stakes
Letting myself escalate
As I dream of running

Never wanting to wake up.
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