finding solace in solitude
I grow around myself,
swirling soundly around bones and sadness,
I sit in some sort of serenity.

voids are places we forget about
I get lost in my daydreams and stumble upon them
oh hello, old friend. Tell me,
how can you miss the absence of nothing?

Seeping into hot water
I bleed out colors I never
Could put a name to
Pour in the sugar and milk
Cloud the clarity
Of what you’d really see
At the bottom of your tea
Drink me, please

Tell me I taste
Like chamomile

The galaxy inside of me
Implodes the pain inside
Too heavy too much
At one time
folding into myself
Spinning out of control
My existence transcends
The end of billions of years
The unfathomable inside
Unthinkable , never to be understood
Winks out of the time
We see.

I tried to **** myself when I was 16
maybe 15 too, I really can’t remember
It’s like I knew what was coming
The calm before the ******* hell
The hands the mouths penises
The pills the **** the open wounds on my leg
The open wound in my chest
Ripcage open, blood flesh bone
Screaming
I heard it
I knew it was only a matter of time but
Why why why why WHY
was I too ******* scared
Too ******* scared of god and his little places and his little enemies friends or whatever
What did god ever do for me anyways?
He watched from afar
And if he was close
That’s even ******* worse .

I have decided there are 2

she never loved me like I thought she did
she always loved me but could not forgive me

I’m not sure which one of those hurts more

I ran into an old acquaintance today
actually, they ran into me
Hadn’t seen them for year


they asked how you were
I said

she’s lovely

they laughed and leaned over to their friend
“She’s madly in love with her”

I laughed

I didn’t have the heart to tell them

She doesn’t love me like how I love her
and how I cry

oh how I cry