i think my heart is too bold because i have feelings that i forbade to be told. no matter how hard i’ve tried, they’re starting to come out of the cold and they’ve began to unfold. i wish i could put them in a box and say they’ve been sold but these feelings are gold and i can’t let them go. it’s so hard knowing the things that i know. i know: you’re the hand i can’t hold, you’re my truth be untold. you’re the one i love and can’t have but i can’t let you go and i can’t let you know...though i’ve told you before, you dunno what i’m feeling deep down in my core. i know i’m not “easy” to handle but i won’t be a bore. these feelings are hard but i’m begging for more, i’m down on the floor because my head and my heart have started this war and it’s hard to ignore, you’re the one i adore...but i’m not gonna implore, that would be wrong and make you walk out the door. i’m just gonna keep feeling these feelings and begin to explore and see if there’s anything more to us and maybe i’ll be one you fall for, til then i’ll just hope to be yours.

i just wanna take a moment to take off my disguise so you can look into my eyes and see inside my mind. tell me what you see. i bet it was a surprise. i bet you saw hidden cries and things that i’ve denied. there’s a thousand tears welled up my eyes but i’ll never show you, i’ll just let my feelings continue to fly to place that’s s•cked my heart dry. i must advise against it but if you wanna act like spies, go ahead, undo the ties i’ve put in place to keep you from the “prize”. i’m impossible to analyze. let me emphasize, i’m not something to be centralized, at the end of this all you can say is “at least i tried”. everything you see inside, please don’t try and memorize. i don’t want my thoughts supervised, they’re hard enough to verbalize...so hard i feel immobilized. perhaps this is a silent cry; i’ll let you decide.

i haven’t thought about that the earth and i will one day be entwined and entombed in each other’s arms. while we’re holding each other tight, one of us or both of us will be reduced to cosmic dust. a substance so fine it’ll get lost in time...while my body had breath was anything truly mine? or was it just His design to eventually make my soul and His creations bind? maybe all that time i was simply stumbling around blind, not knowing what i’ll find, perhaps it’s a sign i should step out of line and continue to be kind because this world is slowly turning ugly and it’s layering with grime. but why? why do we have to tell lies and why do we have to commit crimes? you could fix the things you say you hate so much if only you just tried...then maybe the stars would align and begin to shine but the world isn’t perfect and some of us won’t think changing is worth it. maybe “perfect” is a hopeless idea and we just don’t deserve it. what is perfect? we won’t ever get there but we can get close we just have to earn it. perfection is deception and our minds are infected, we’ve all been affected but don’t completely reject it because love has been detected so do the world a favor and spread it...before you and ground grow more connected.