it's been a while since i've seen him
and i'm telling myself not to love

but in my dreams he's there
his eyes, his nose, his lips
what's wrong with me, i said i wouldn't
yet all i can think about is his kiss

he hasn't even kissed me! not a graze, not a touch
i never thought i would be a victim to this nature
this lust

but even if i can spare a few words with him again
my wishes will be fulfilled
alas, there's no way
so my dreams will be killed

never thought i'd be the type
to make friends i can't even see
pictures and messages only go so far
but why does that feel more than enough for me?

feelings are worth a thousand words
i finally see what they mean
for even though they're oceans away
they're as close to my heart as could be

they won’t miss me
she whispers as she pours
another pill in her hand

they won’t miss me
he mutters as he ties the
knot of the rope that will
be his end

they won’t miss me
she laughs ironically as
she loads the gun

they won’t miss me
he sighs as he picks up
the knife

i wish it didn’t have to be like this
they all cry

but now
it’s too late
the pills gone
the rope knotted
the gun loaded
and
the knife stained.

tell me
how to be enough
for myself.

sticks and stones
will break bones
and a knee will take a life

tear gas and barricades
will need first aids
and rubber bullets will take eyes

signs and chants
dismissed as rants
and a point that will keep being missed