I say life is painful and dreary
As it’s difficult to fully live
When not well equipped
Through a journey not chosen

Lost hope in a torturous struggle
For being misunderstood
With emotions uncontrolled
And dictating every move

So I change angle and look for the good in things
I try - “get a grip”  - as people tend to say
But difficulty remains
When others take the lead

So, with tracks of tears
Deeply ingrained
My journey remains decided
But not by me

Emotions
Balancing
Shadowing
Mimicking
Multiplying
Looking
Looking for space
Emotions
Darting
Fiddling
Wriggling
Balancing
Swelling with intensity
Looking
Looking for peace
A voice
An outlet
Emotions
Balancing
Teetering
Swelling with –
Unexpressed
Misunderstood
Intensity
Agitation
Looking,
Wanting,­ needing, creating
Unapologetic apathy

How can I keep holding on
How can I make it through
Nothing can change the core element of Self
Nothing changes the way of truth

There’s nothing to say...
Nothing to do...

Only chaos seems to reign
No one can hear the madness
No sense is seen
No peace... no rest....

Nothing to do...
Nothing to say...

Everyday I fight for the same...
Everyday I hurt, I break, I cry
Everyday seems –
I’ve never really belonged

My destiny...
Mine to take charge of
Why then am I judged...
Why then am I mocked...
Why then am I made to feel guilty
For the emotions of others...
Their fears... their needs... their wants...
Why....

Isolated
Alone
Excluded
- from the human race

Worthless
Useless
A waste of space

If I could find other words
- to tell you
Some other way
- to show you
Another means
- to make you understand
How much I love you
- I would

You were created to fly
To soar on the wings of your dreams and desires
To have every wish, every hope come true

You’ve earned the best….
You deserve the best…

It scares me to think of you getting anything less than perfection
It frightens me to think that you wouldn't achieve your goals
You encompass everything beautiful in life
You give light,  laughter and happiness
You should receive the very same

If I could –
I would make every dream come true
I'd build your wings to help you fly
I'd invest of myself into your life
My time, my love, my support, encouragement

In the one life that you've been given to live
Live it to the fullest
Strive for nothing less than the best
You are perfect, just the way you are
Never forget that
And never forget that I love you....

Walking along, empty and aimless
Through life so cold - it cannot be painless.
Slapped around by the hands of despair
Please tell me - is there any freedom out there?

How vast, dark and terrifying is life
With lurking shadows of terminal strife
They say there is light at the end of the tunnel
But its lights of a train into which I stumble.

What crime have I committed?
To which injustice is my guilt fitted?
I question such things within my mind -
But answers there I do not find.

Weak and weary I slowly drag on
Death it seems is the freedom song.
It's the notes and tune I must put to the test
And then I shall find the ultimate rest