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We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.
Please don't ever become a stranger,
whose laugh I can recognize anywhere.
**** doesn’t always hide
At parties and outside clubs
**** doesn’t always hide
In dark alleys and empty parking lots
Sometimes it is right in front of you
But you choose to look the other way
**** doesn’t always hide
Behind the faces of strangers in the night
Sometimes it is hiding behind the closed doors
Of your uncles
Cousins
Fathers
And brothers
**** isn’t always loud-
Screaming, yelling, and crying
Sometimes **** is quiet-
Gasping for air and silent tears
Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Look in the mirror
Step 3: Practice your smile
Step 4: Eyedrops to hide the red eyes
Step 5: Conceal the dark circles
Step 6: Breathe
The curtains are almost up
Step 7: Lock down the pain
Step 8: Ignore the weight on your chest
Step 9: Silence the screams inside of your mind
Step 10: Choke down the sobs in your throat
Step 11: Ignore the stinging in your eyes
Step 12: Swallow past the tightness in your throat
You’ve put on this show a million times
Step 13: Don’t let them see
Times up. Curtains up. Camera rolling
You know how when you’re not ok but you try so hard to pretend you’re ok that it becomes a ritual
  Jan 9 Dylan Mcconnell
King
If
If I die today,
Would tears flow,
like a rushing river?
Or the clouds weep,
screaming in thunder?
Would the earth break,
shaking in anger?
Will the world care?
And for a moment,
forget laughter?

If I'm down
to my final heartbeat.
Will anyone be there,
sitting beside me?
When I draw,
the very last breath.
Will you hold my hand,
and feel upset?

If I go,
without saying goodbye.
I want you to know,
that I really tried.
To live and love,
to endure and smile.
To find the truth,
in this realm of lies.

If I'm fated
of leaving soon
to talk with God,
in his glowing room.
I'll be rejoicing,
when I face my doom.
Even I end like a flower,
that withered,
before it blooms.

If inside the casket I lay,
Would there any heaven for me to stay?
Or will my sins, demand me to pay?
Don't even know, how much this life has weighed.

If it's my time, to step on the scale.
Done of my part, in this play.
A lot of regrets,
but nothing more to say.
Wish me luck.
If I die today.
“don’t you miss me?..”
i cry
knowing that the answer
is not in my favor
my mom thinks it’s a hickey on my neck
and i’d rather her think that
than know it’s from your fingers
clamping my throat shut
with rage
I'll be alright
And so will you

Because this time
It was real.

There was no idolising.
You were not the reason
Black made peace with white,
Your music taste was terrible
And you were the worst drunk
That ever lived.

But you were you.
That was enough.

I was skeptical at first
And my dusty head held no delusions

But whether it was that feeling
Of your cool feet against my back at night
The time you held your knees to your chest
Pretending to force conception
Without telling me you were on the pill
Or that you were just the best ****
In all of the seven kingdoms
My opened mind had no confusion.

I said I loved you
Because it was impossible to call it anything else.
I'd have called you my sun and stars
If only the sun and stars were hot enough.

But it didn't last
Like the movies said it would.
You had your dreams
And I had mine
At least until
Some other time.

And maybe one day
One more time.
You can make me laugh until my throat catches fire

One more time
We can argue like a pair of dictionaries vomiting on each other
As we eat each other's brains for dinner

One more time
We can watch Game of Thrones
And chant the theme tune together like we did
For every episode.
Oh, yes.
Every.
Episode.

Maybe
You can hold my hand
On the day I die.

But if not,
That's okay.
I'll be alright
And so will you.
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