the air around is stiff
atmosphere is still
the earth stops mid-spin
it’s happening all over again

i can hardly let out a howl
i feel him groan against my neck
i scarcely let out breath
his body leaks his stench

i am powerless against him

within my belly
lays the question of if

you are a path chosen by god
not yet revealed to me

i love you my if
i will protect you with my all
sacrifice my being for even a maybe

you were not my intention
but the idea of you is a gift

i’m willing to omit
every curse you spit
i’ll let you fester
drink you up like nectar
looking to the sky
while you poison my insides

community mourns at the news of her passing
a man caught with his hands
red with the blood of his daughter
blood may be thicker than water
but it is not what makes you a dad

i am reluctant
to face this ocean’s mass
i fear the waves of the past will devour me
if i pursue this seaside quarrel

nevertheless i persist
i must endure this passing tide
watching it rise and fall
the current washes over me

i succeed through it’s finale
after shock of Poseidon’s wrath i remain
the aftermath is serene
a sense of calm exists within me

i have survived this weaponless battle
i have attained this sense of victory

i’m craving toxic air to fill my lungs
but eerie smoke stays trapped in the underworld where it belongs

i’ve banished all bad habits to the devil’s land
i can’t count all the times i’ve flirted with satan on my hand

the hellscape down below drips with my self-drawn blood
memories of my evil ex boyfriend lie within ash and mud

at times i will collapse right onto the floor
begin to dig with my hands to reach hell’s core

i want to throw away what healing ive done and relive my decay
eventually i stop myself and with healthy habits on earth i’ll stay

with every step towards progression, we ought to look below ourselves
remember pain we’ve conquered but not get ****** back into hell

every word of yours
is a grip around my neck
louder
angrier
tighter

i’m losing my ability to breathe
losing my sense of me

as i lose consciousness
your grasp on my throat does not yet release
i am trapped in your voice circling me

until the divine interferes
leaving you only with fear
lending me the strength
to regain myself

i grip my pen
and ink starts to flow
removing your hand
from the tenderness of my neck
bruises show
i write
louder
angrier
healing