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CAL 3h
i almost jumped to comfort her
but i realized aomeome had got to it first
why does it hurt
CAL 12h
emotionally
mentally
whatever
i just did that thing
that awkward boys do in the movies
when a pretty girl waves at them
or yells for them
and they confusedly go
"me??"
i do that often
but i sure did it again
CAL 14h
i work at a drive in
and make milkshakes

i sneak oreo pieces
and m'n'm's

because i make it
it feels safe

i guess it has protein
maybe my hair won't fall out so much

i just really like it
ice cream
CAL 4d
small in my arms
shy
something to be careful with
she is someone
i'm excited to see how she'll grow up
almost sad that i won't be around
i want to see her become confident
and burst with color
i miss my girl

maybe i can see her again soon
maybe i'll text her
CAL 7d
i was using my knife the other day
working on some leather
it slipped
and stuck into my skin
it was easy
like blowing away a feather

i started to bleed

crimson
on washed out white skin
in that moment
i realized what made it that cut easy
was dedication

it hurts to hesitate

the difference
is dedication
CAL Sep 17
i don't care if she calls my dad
i didn't do anything wrong
he doesn't have time for this anyway
i made my peace
and feel better

all that happened was she made sure i was okay

i've been stressed at school

i apologized
explained
she made sure i was okay
and i sent her a picture of her toy axolotol

we made peace

and that was safety

i know what i did

and it wasn't bad
CAL Sep 16
i want to live in a world that's just me
you
my truck
driving
through the backroads
at sunset
when it's misty
empty cans and a cup of coffee
the windows down
we smoke into the fog
and we would say nothing
but maybe scream-sing to music
i want to live in a world where's nothing
but a moment
where we park on a dirtroad
leave the doors open
and watch the world fall asleep
from our own metal bed
i want to live in a world
,,,
but that world isn't anything but a dream
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