I said i'd never let someone take control over me the way you did. Your words wrapped around my throat the way a snake wraps around its prey; Im your prey. Im nothing more than a mouse in a field.
Your flames licked at the paper, the contract of our love, burning what we used to have. Burning my love for you, brighter at first, but then fading into a deep glowing pile of ash.
I didn't know i didn't love you until we ended, until that pile of ash blew away, taking our memories with it. I didn't know i didn't love you until you became the pesticide to the flowers you planted and let grow, weaving in my rib cage and growing around my heart. I didn't know i didn't love you until i stopped feeling like prey being attacked, being at risk just by sharing the same space as you. When i tired to leave for me you yelled at me, but i didn't hear anything over the sound of my self made independence.
We didn't love each other. We were just kids who thought they understood the cruel world of love. I hate to say it but you weren't my happy ending, and you weren't my princess charming. But there was something about the way i felt less trapped, not stuck in your coils; something about the way i felt less choked up when i tried to speak made up for the heartbreak i felt.
I loved you, but then again I didn't all at once. I was in love with the idea of being in love and if i missed you it was only because i missed the idea of someone loving me. But i know now that i am loved. I love myself and i don't need you to help me see that. I love my flaws the way you said you did. I am capable of loving myself and being independent without you and your problems weighing me down.
I don't miss your manipulative tongue that i shared many kisses with. I don't miss your soft hands that wrapped around my wrist and kept me caged. I don't miss you. Not at all.
I missed my independence. I missed my freedom. I missed laughing with my friends without worrying who you were with or what you were drinking and what you were doing. I missed listening to music without the songs reminding me of what you've done to me. I missed enjoying my precious life for what it is; precious, calm, and beautiful.
I didn't have to be in love to love my life, and i recall a time you once told me in order to love someone else i had to first love myself. And now I have more love to give. But not to you because you brought me more hurt than happy. But to my friends, family and to the next girl who plants flowers in my stomach to help me bloom. To the next girl who not only provides sunshine but teaches me how to make it for myself. To the next girl who lets me make mistakes without punishing me for them.

Every cut tells a story.... Those turn into scars... Which will eventually become our legends....

Depression is running through my head.
These thoughts make me think of death,
A darkness which blanks my mind.
A walk through the graveyard, what can I find?
Black shadows walk in between the graves,
How many lives have not been saved?
Six feet under, if not more,
How I'd like to go down and explore
The feeling of lying in a box.
I can't get out, is it locked?
Is it day or is it night?
Are birds singing or have bats taken to flight?
I know one day this is where I'll go,
Am I afraid? I don't think so!
Will I be able to explore the feeling of death?
After I've taken my last breath?
Or will I be a shadow in between the graves?
Will I know how many lives have not been saved?
After this life is there another one?
With a different moon and a different sun.
I won't go to hell as I'm already there,
A place full of sadness, a place full of despair.
So there's nothing to live for, no future, no past,
So I might as well end it, end this life at last.

Every time i hear your voice my heart feels at home like its found its place in a world where home is not known, but its the slight brushes of your finger that lets me know someone out there cares- cares for what i have to say and what i have to feel. I thought I was alone fighting my inner demons on my own but one look into your soul and i found a person who's able to calm my constant fears while simultaneously making me excited for whats to come. You engulf my senses swallowing me whole. I can't even breath without wishing you were mine and mine to hold. In between the glances from opposite sides of the room I've slowly realized that I love you and I'm scared to tell you  out of fear that you wont and I'll end up without a home in a place where home is not known.

My heart aches for you

My eyes cry for you

My senses long for you

I, feel numb without you

My smiles wither without you

My soul thirsts for you

My body shivers without you

Please, tell me what to do

I miss you

Your void in my life, ever since you left

Has caused an unstoppable emotional leakage

My heart and mind are never in-sync

And I am shivering as I write this message

My heart is crying because it is alone

It is weeping, without making a sound

My soul if burdened with sad emotions

Which feel heavier, than a thousand pounds

I miss you

All the pictures of you and me

Are a sweet reminder of the good times

It was when we could be together

Life, was like a sweet poetry in perfect rhyme

But now that you’ve gone away

Everything has been thrown askew

Plunged, in a painful sense of chaos

My life, can only be set straight by you

I miss you

Without you

Sweet tastes sour

And nothing in this world

Seems worthy enough to devour

Coffee and hot chocolate

Just doesn’t taste the same

Going out to have ice cream

Feels boring and pretty lame

Without your awesome hugs

Life has turned monochrome

I’m like a lost puppy

Desperately searching for a home

I miss you

wrote this poem to tell you all the things I fail to say.
I wrote you this poem to tell you I love you and for you to read everyday.
I wrote you this poem to tell you I want you in the dark and I want you in the light.
I wrote you this poem to tell you I want you when we laugh and I want you when we fight.
I wrote you this poem to say thank you for all that you've done.
I wrote you this poem to tell you that my world revolves around you like the Earth does the sun.
I wrote you this poem to let you know that there is none like you.
I wrote you this poem to say I need you to stand by me through all that I do.
I wrote you this poem to say I need you in my life.
I wrote you this poem to ask you to be my wife.

In sickness and in health, until death do us part.
I want you to know I will love you with every beat of my heart.

I thought love was a marriage of the mind,
It's fake, impossible to find.
But the day I met you, I began to see,
That love is real and exists in me!!

Those are ugly they all say.
But they dont know what she goes through everyday.
She uses a razor to make her art.
If only they knew that this beauty comes from the heart.
At home she was abused , at school made fun of.
She always believed she was never loved.
Physical, ******, and everything you could name.
At home its a constant war, it's all just a shame.
Neglect and abandonment you could name it all.
"Fake it till you make it", but then she'd just fall.
She cuts and she cuts until one day too deep.
The blood rushes out and she falls fast asleep.
Her mother walks in and calls 911.
It's only then that she realizes what she's doing isn't fun.
They go to the hospital and the doctors check her out.
What happens then? He calls for help in a shout.
Visitors come and visitors go.
So many of them just call it a show.
Its too late now she's fighting for her life.
Everyone wishes she hadn't used that knife.
But do they not know they caused all of this?
Do they realize now that bullying isn't such a bliss?
Her parents should know abuse isn't cool.
They should have treated their little girl like a shiny jewel.
It's too late now their little girl is dead.
Everyone that did this, it'll go through their head.
They'll think about this everyday and every night.
I hope they know now what they did wasn't right.
I guess you could say watch what you do.
Be kind to others and not just to you.
Beauty doesn't come from the outside, instead from within.
Be careful what you do sometimes people it's still a sin.
Be yourself and be who you are.
It'll get better one day and you'll go far.

My heart literally hurts
My chest is in pain
Life without you
Will never be the same

I can't blame you
Because I did you wrong too
But now that it's officially over
I don't know what to do

We started out as friends
As I denied my feelings
You came to me
You wanted more, with more meaning

I did but I was scared
When you tried to be there, I left
I thought you were better than me
The best man I ever met

As time went on
I regretted my actions
Got caught up in my insecurities
They stopped me from acting

I couldn't believe you chose me
When I knew you deserve better
So I carried on,
As if I never met you

I finally got the nerve
To look you in the eye
Such a beautiful man you are
It shook me inside

I tried to mend what I tore
But the damage was done
I came back too late
You found someone

I'll never forget your smile
I'll never forget your kiss
But your presence in my life
Will forever be missed

Sometimes I ask myself why? Why do I love you?
And then I think to myself and smile because i Know the list would run on for miles.