A journal entry from January 19, 2010:
“...I said no and that it hurts too much. He didn’t care. He put all of his weight onto me and forced himself into me. I began to yell in pain, but He shoved my face into a pillow. I wanted to scream, cry—ANYTHING! I couldn’t breathe.”
After that, I’d take cold showers and cry myself to sleep. I couldn’t help but feel like this was my fault. Was I some kind of target? Did I deserve it like he told me I did? I needed answers.