Mr Haiku: Poems

Account

Mr Haiku May 2020

Account

Something has happened.
Split custody has happened.
The account is split.

#haiku

Advanced Settings

Mr Haiku May 2020

Advanced Settings

Here's a fun fact all
My girlfriend just did something
This account remains

#haiku

Always buys food

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Always buys food

She should not buy food.
She always insists on this.
I will always pay.

#haiku

and it was i

Mr Haiku May 2020

and it was i

I was at the place
You were standing next to me
You smelled a bit weird...

#haiku

Apple

Mr Haiku May 2020

Apple

Crunchy and so red.
She eats and munches on it.
Hope there's not a worm!

#haiku

Applying for Research

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Applying for Research

Why do you want this?
I don't know man, why do I?
Will this even work?

#haiku

Baby

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Baby

It's a baby boy!
Why does this dude have a dent?
Silly little boy.

#haiku

Bed Bath and Beyond

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Bed Bath and Beyond

This is not sponsored.
I have been there a few times.
They have nice candles.

#haiku

Big Blue

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Big Blue

The fish broke its back.
How is it alive right now?
Hope he's not in pain...

#haiku

Blanket

Mr Haiku May 2020

Blanket

My blanket is white.
It is my comfort blanket.
I won't give it up.

#haiku

Bones Cracking

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Bones Cracking

"Ow that really hurt"
She is like a fire *******.
Hope you feel better!

#haiku

Bunch

Mr Haiku May 2020

Bunch

Josh Chan is quite nice.
I will ruin my whole life.
Sorry everyone.

#haiku

Cart of the Mario

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Cart of the Mario

Vroom vroom there I go.
Getting first place is easy.
So many friends lost :(

#haiku

Chonky Seal

Mr Haiku May 2020

Chonky Seal

chonk chonk chonk chonk chonk
chonkchonkchonkchonkchonkchonkchonk
chonk chonk chonky seal.

#haiku

Deck

Mr Haiku May 2020

Deck

Our deck is quite nice.
It needs to be cleaned off though.
That won't happen soon...

#haiku

Diet Root Beer

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Diet Root Beer

She loves this soda.
I will get her more today.
This makes her happy.

Different Layout

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Different Layout

We do not like change.
The website has a new look.
The old one was fine.

#haiku

Dog

Mr Haiku May 2020

Dog

I love my new dog.
He was a good boy today.
No more accidents.

#haiku

Dog

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Dog

Dog dog dog dog dog.
Dog dog dog dog dog dog dog.
Dog dog dog dog dog.

#haiku

Drive drive drive

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Drive drive drive

I want to go fast!
Step on the gas and let's go.
nonononono

This poem was written jointly by my girlfriend and me.

#haiku

Eggs

Mr Haiku May 2020

Eggs

Ten thousand dollars.
Every woman should do this.
That's a lot of cash.

#haiku

Elephant

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Elephant

This ring is special.
It wraps around her finger.
Happy describes her.

#haiku

Feet

Mr Haiku May 2020

Feet

What the **** are those?
Why do they even exist?
I hate feet so much.

#haiku

Fiber

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Fiber

I love this right now.
Fiber is the best for me.
Don't read into this.

#haiku

#freemydawg

Mr Haiku May 2020

#freemydawg

He is a good boy
I love my dog so dearly
Tax fraud is not bad.

#haiku

Green Ball

Mr Haiku May 2020

Green Ball

My dog wants the ball
The ball is now wet from Will
Why did you take it?

#haiku

Grog

Mr Haiku May 2020

Grog

Grog is a hedgehog.
His sister's name is Sunshine.
Grog is the greatest.

#haiku

Hair

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Hair

My hair is so dark.
I might even go darker.
But I am pleased now.

#haiku

Heavy

Mr Haiku May 2020

Heavy

My music is loud.
I don't know why I like it.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E

#haiku

Hunger

Mr Haiku May 2020

Hunger

My stomach is loud.
I think I will eat soonish.
Probably waffles.

#haiku

Hungry

Mr Haiku May 2020

Hungry

I have some popcorn.
But I am not hungry now.
Maybe in a bit.

#haiku

I hope he cheats

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

I hope he cheats

Is this song a joke?
It is a good song to hear.
But man it's silly.

#haiku

I'm your dealer

Mr Haiku May 2020

I'm your dealer

I deal your haiku.
You beg and beg for my stuff.
They are just shitposts.

#haiku

Keith

Mr Haiku May 2020

Keith

My roommate hates him
We do not know who he is
Does Keith exist here?

#haiku

Marathon

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Marathon

It's time for a film.
Movie marathons are fun.
What should we watch guys?

#haiku

Moka Pot

Mr Haiku May 2020

Moka ***

I want to get this.
My girlfriend's coffee *** broke.
She needs a new one.

#haiku

Monday

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Monday

This day will be fun.
Walmart finally did it.
Prepare for freak outs.

#haiku

Mr. Bateman

Mr Haiku May 2020

Mr. Bateman

******* is the best.
Can we please try Dorsia?
Reservation? Great!

#haiku

Noon to Ten

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Noon to Ten

These hours are real dumb.
There will not be fireworks.
Why would you go there?

#haiku

Nutella Bread Pudding

Mr Haiku May 2020

Nutella Bread Pudding

We are having this.
Not right now, but soon I think.
How 'bout one hour?

#haiku

Owl Party

Mr Haiku May 2020

Owl Party

Who is swimming now?
Could it be the big eyed birds?
They go WHO and swim!

#haiku

Panda

Mr Haiku May 2020

Panda

My girl likes pandas.
Is my girlfriend a panda?
No that would be weird...

#haiku

Penguins

Mr Haiku May 2020

Penguins

They look at the art.
They are so spiffy and sweet.
We love penguins, smile.

#haiku

Pokemon GO!

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Pokemon GO!

I play this too much.
I've had this game since the start.
I will play today.

#haiku

Popcorn

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Popcorn

That dog is quite small.
It shall now be called Popcorn.
I wish it were mine.

#haiku

Poppyseed Cake

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Poppyseed Cake

Testing positive
Don't eat this before drug test.
****** is bad.

#haiku

Popsicle

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Popsicle

Bomb Pops are the bomb
My girlfriend had me try them
Red, White, Blue, so good!

#haiku

Professors

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Professors

Some of them are great.
But some of them are racist.
Why is this a thing?

#haiku

Rain

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Rain

The rain is quite cold.
That means we can't swim right now.
Maybe in August....

#haiku

Sex with socks????

Mr Haiku May 2020

*** with socks????

Is this a weird thing?
I really do not like feet.
Please let me know soon.

Please debate this, it's an ongoing argument between several friends I have.

#haiku