Mr Haiku: Poems

Aug 2020 · 119

Always buys food

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Always buys food

She should not buy food.
She always insists on this.
I will always pay.

#haiku

Aug 2020 · 123

Professors

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Professors

Some of them are great.
But some of them are racist.
Why is this a thing?

#haiku

Aug 2020 · 110

Different Layout

Mr Haiku Aug 2020

Different Layout

We do not like change.
The website has a new look.
The old one was fine.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 92

Rain

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Rain

The rain is quite cold.
That means we can't swim right now.
Maybe in August....

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 375

Dog

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Dog

Dog dog dog dog dog.
Dog dog dog dog dog dog dog.
Dog dog dog dog dog.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 93

Popcorn

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Popcorn

That dog is quite small.
It shall now be called Popcorn.
I wish it were mine.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 90

Big Blue

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Big Blue

The fish broke its back.
How is it alive right now?
Hope he's not in pain...

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 81

Drive drive drive

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Drive drive drive

I want to go fast!
Step on the gas and let's go.
nonononono

This poem was written jointly by my girlfriend and me.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 85

I hope he cheats

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

I hope he cheats

Is this song a joke?
It is a good song to hear.
But man it's silly.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 88

Swimming

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Swimming

Stop being cold please.
We would just like to swim now.
Float float float float float.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 57

Fiber

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Fiber

I love this right now.
Fiber is the best for me.
Don't read into this.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 78

Bones Cracking

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Bones Cracking

"Ow that really hurt"
She is like a fire *******.
Hope you feel better!

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 77

White Blanket

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

White Blanket

This is the best one.
I've had this for a long time.
Never give it up.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 73

Sushi

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Sushi

This is a great food.
All wrapped up and nice looking.
Yummy yummy fish.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 49

Elephant

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Elephant

This ring is special.
It wraps around her finger.
Happy describes her.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 61

Monday

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Monday

This day will be fun.
Walmart finally did it.
Prepare for freak outs.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 84

Diet Root Beer

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Diet Root Beer

She loves this soda.
I will get her more today.
This makes her happy.

Jul 2020 · 72

Hair

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Hair

My hair is so dark.
I might even go darker.
But I am pleased now.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 55

Pokemon GO!

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Pokemon GO!

I play this too much.
I've had this game since the start.
I will play today.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 55

Snowball

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Snowball

What the heck is this?
It is so light and fluffy.
I like this dessert.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 53

Baby

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Baby

It's a baby boy!
Why does this dude have a dent?
Silly little boy.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 52

Poppyseed Cake

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Poppyseed Cake

Testing positive
Don't eat this before drug test.
****** is bad.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 45

Sticky Notes

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Sticky Notes

Pink ring in toilet.
My roommate is quite clever.
Nice notes in bathroom.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 57

Applying for Research

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Applying for Research

Why do you want this?
I don't know man, why do I?
Will this even work?

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 48

Marathon

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Marathon

It's time for a film.
Movie marathons are fun.
What should we watch guys?

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 47

The dog is leaving

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

The dog is leaving

We fostered a dog.
Will Rogers will be leaving.
We will all miss him.

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 44

Noon to Ten

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Noon to Ten

These hours are real dumb.
There will not be fireworks.
Why would you go there?

#haiku

Jul 2020 · 47

Bed Bath and Beyond

Mr Haiku Jul 2020

Bed Bath and Beyond

This is not sponsored.
I have been there a few times.
They have nice candles.

#haiku

Jun 2020 · 63

Why do my hips hurt?

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Why do my hips hurt?

Jimminy Christmas!
I wish my hips would just pop.
I need to stretch them.

#haiku

Jun 2020 · 63

Cart of the Mario

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Cart of the Mario

Vroom vroom there I go.
Getting first place is easy.
So many friends lost :(

#haiku

Jun 2020 · 60

Sleep Talking

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Sleep Talking

Methyl methyl why?
Why did I say this at night?
I sleep talk a lot.

#haiku

Jun 2020 · 74

Snoopy

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Snoopy

We both love Snoopy.
He is a really good dog.
Good grief Charlie Brown!

#haiku

Jun 2020 · 60

Popsicle

Mr Haiku Jun 2020

Popsicle

Bomb Pops are the bomb
My girlfriend had me try them
Red, White, Blue, so good!

#haiku

May 2020 · 62

Green Ball

Mr Haiku May 2020

Green Ball

My dog wants the ball
The ball is now wet from Will
Why did you take it?

#haiku

May 2020 · 75

Venmo

Mr Haiku May 2020

Venmo

It is a war now
She won't let me pay for food
I will win them all

#haiku

May 2020 · 64

and it was i

Mr Haiku May 2020

and it was i

I was at the place
You were standing next to me
You smelled a bit weird...

#haiku

May 2020 · 59

Heavy

Mr Haiku May 2020

Heavy

My music is loud.
I don't know why I like it.
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E

#haiku

May 2020 · 63

I'm your dealer

Mr Haiku May 2020

I'm your dealer

I deal your haiku.
You beg and beg for my stuff.
They are just shitposts.

#haiku

May 2020 · 56

Deck

Mr Haiku May 2020

Deck

Our deck is quite nice.
It needs to be cleaned off though.
That won't happen soon...

#haiku

May 2020 · 49

Tissue Box

Mr Haiku May 2020

Tissue Box

Fishes on my box
My tissue box is quite old.
It's still my best friend.

#haiku

May 2020 · 57

Owl Party

Mr Haiku May 2020

Owl Party

Who is swimming now?
Could it be the big eyed birds?
They go WHO and swim!

#haiku

May 2020 · 53

Account

Mr Haiku May 2020

Account

Something has happened.
Split custody has happened.
The account is split.

#haiku

May 2020 · 64

#freemydawg

Mr Haiku May 2020

#freemydawg

He is a good boy
I love my dog so dearly
Tax fraud is not bad.

#haiku

May 2020 · 65

wall-e

Mr Haiku May 2020

wall-e

Wall-e finds a plant.
He puts it in his cooler.
Now I have goosebumps.

#haiku

May 2020 · 55

Advanced Settings

Mr Haiku May 2020

Advanced Settings

Here's a fun fact all
My girlfriend just did something
This account remains

#haiku

May 2020 · 62

Apple

Mr Haiku May 2020

Apple

Crunchy and so red.
She eats and munches on it.
Hope there's not a worm!

#haiku

May 2020 · 59

Penguins

Mr Haiku May 2020

Penguins

They look at the art.
They are so spiffy and sweet.
We love penguins, smile.

#haiku

May 2020 · 62

Hunger

Mr Haiku May 2020

Hunger

My stomach is loud.
I think I will eat soonish.
Probably waffles.

#haiku

May 2020 · 67

Moka Pot

Mr Haiku May 2020

Moka ***

I want to get this.
My girlfriend's coffee *** broke.
She needs a new one.

#haiku

May 2020 · 66

Chonky Seal

Mr Haiku May 2020

Chonky Seal

chonk chonk chonk chonk chonk
chonkchonkchonkchonkchonkchonkchonk
chonk chonk chonky seal.

#haiku