Is Love your idea of perfect happiness?
Do you deplore yourself more, or others?
Is it the trite phrases you use most you despise
Or your own hesitant silence that bothers?
Do questions like this make you crazy?
Tickbox Yes, tickbox No, tick Maybe.
Is your arrogance your greatest extravagance?
Or that lying has become your talent?
Do you like most what you like in a Man
Or is your liking for Women just balance?
Do questions like this upset you lately?
Tickbox Often, tickbox Never, tick Maybe.
Which living person do you most admire?
Who are your favourite dead artists & authors?
Is your current state of Mind like Ice or Fire
Or are your Thoughts just shadows & monsters?
Do you think of failure Not At All or Greatly?
Tickbox Both, tickbox Neither, tick Maybe.
Lastly, what is your greatest regret?
Which inanimate object would you most like to be?
What do you prefer Focaccia or Baguette?
Is it Lunch not dinner, Sauce not Gravy?
Can we access freely your microphone & screen?
Tickbox Absolutely, tick Indiscriminately, tick Willfully.
This is not a Test, you are not being defined -
We seek, only to know and not to classify.
The Data is non-personal, no outcome specified,
It will help us to help you in these more trying times.
We want to subscribe you to being Spied Upon daily -
Tickbox Yes, tickbox Of Course, tick You-can-tick-FOR-me...
Tommy Randell - 01st April 2021
The impetus & inspiration for this was the so called PROUST Questionnaire (qv), though the Poem takes a different spin...
No-one knows for sure where the English Victorian Parlour game originated or to whom we owe it's invention but these days such lists of Questions are everywhere online and in the real World - Vanity Fair, Inside The Actors Studio, &c.