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Oct 2021 · 2.4k
Untitled
Timur Shamatov Oct 2021
even after all this time
i’m still addicted
to the poison
dripping from your lips
Lips of join and lips of pain
Sep 2021 · 1.2k
Women’s Love
Timur Shamatov Sep 2021
yes,

you are a chaos
a storm

a wild flower
covered in thorns

yet

gentle as waterfall mist
on a hot summer day

soft as a lover’s kiss
on a cold winter morning

yes,

you are poetry
in constant motion

a beautiful melody
enthralled in a whirlwind
Something about your love that drives crazy, makes me feel calm, both at the same time.
Jan 2021 · 996
That Song
Timur Shamatov Jan 2021
Baby you already know that
When you hear that song
All the frozen memories will melt away and
You hate to love it but
You can’t deny it that
Years later, just like that song, I still make you smile.
We all have that song that years after brake ups good or bad we can listen to it and smile because it reminds us of some one we loved.
Dec 2020 · 345
I Release Your Love
Timur Shamatov Dec 2020
Time had passed, you started to realize that
We can’t change the past
Present moment **** the future we could have had
You say you’re happy with another
Acting like I’m the one who pushed you out the door
Like I’m the one who killed our present by stepping on your soul
Justifying that I’m the reason that you are gone
Yet, miss me when you are home alone

Baby we both know that I lacked the
words to make you stay
Cause you are the one who chose to go
If my action did not show you how I felt
My words could never change your mind
I care too much to make you stay in a place that might have caused you pain
So I release your love and promises you made.
Sometimes you have to let someone loved or cared for that you let them go because what you had will never fade away.
Dec 2020 · 364
Fading Love
Timur Shamatov Dec 2020
Sorrow of a love affair
Above the clouds of yesterday
Slowly falling to the grounds below
Colors running fading slow
As what we stood for starts to burn
The one that got away we always think and say but the truth was is that you left because I let you go.
Nov 2020 · 502
Rose
Timur Shamatov Nov 2020
Rose petals on the floor
Rose petals on the bed
Your piercing eye and skintight dress
Music playing
Mind racing as you pull me in
Falling deeper into lustful thoughts  

Push me off
Turn the music up
Play it slow

Your hips bent and your *** shook
Your body twists and turns to the rhythm of this ******* song
Got me sweating at this privet show

Witness to your beauty
Victim to my lust
Feel no pity in our hearts
Reality is morphing into fruition of our thoughts...

Bite your lip and lick your neck....
        
         Take our time and do it right...
    
Want us laughing through the night

Cause we both know that in the end we gonna break each other’s hearts.
Sep 2020 · 235
The Return
Timur Shamatov Sep 2020
I’m good when I play the lovers game
Like a Devil in disguise
Hazel eyes and my coy smile
Got you falling into fire
Choking on miasma of our lust
Heart is pounding with delight
Got you thinking that this might last
We just met but you already lost
Draw you in and drink you up
Taste your lips and feel your warmth
You fall deeper into world of my past
Eyes convey the coldness of my heart
As you straggle to keep me warm
Now you know
I’m not there to catch you as you fall
Your love becomes the payment and the
price
As we both return to burn in Devil’s Paradise...
Who hasn’t fallen victim to Devil’s Paradise...
Jul 2020 · 478
Affair
Timur Shamatov Jul 2020
Laughter resonating through the night
In the darkest your lips searching finding mine
Time is slipping as we spend another night

You look at me as the water begins to wash me of your skin
Tear filled eyes as you look away
And we both know that what you feel for me just isn’t right within

One word will forever resonate within my mind
As you walked out the door, I know that it was not a lie
This time you truly meant it when you said “Goodbye”.
Doing stupid stuff, just because I could, now realizing that I killed a lot of love from good women because I’m stupid.
Aug 2019 · 565
Love Personified
Timur Shamatov Aug 2019
Time with you is slow and sweet
Like honey on the edges of my lips
Kiss you soft and breathe you in
Feel you take and lose control
Dreams are melting-morphing into one
Shiver at a though that this could be our love personified
As you take my time and let it drip
Oh so slow and oh so sweet
Jul 2019 · 787
Lover’s Whisper
Timur Shamatov Jul 2019
Lay beside me darling and grab my hand
Close your eyes and try to visualize
Us rising, flying over the mountains and the clouds
Still rising higher, as we fly towards the galaxy above
Hold me tight as we dance across star filled skies
Still rising higher and higher past the darkness of your past
Towards broken sphere and frozen dust
Bringing fire to its soul
As it spins, burning, melting into solid core
Hold me tightly as my love brings to life this world within your broken heart
If only it was this easy to fall away and crawl out of abyss.... ;)
Jul 2019 · 709
Devil’s Whisper
Timur Shamatov Jul 2019
You shouldn’t be alone
I know your mind is racing as you’re pacing
To my will you’ll surrender all control
Forget the future and the past
Love couldn’t and it wouldn’t last
So take another shot and fall away into
Someone else’s bed and break their soul
Play the game of stupid love
Better them than you cause nothing lasts
Take another puff and lose your mind as
You disappear into nights of lust
Frozen to another’s touch
Cause darling you don’t want to hurt
Trust me take another pill and close your eyes
Life only lasts a moment and it’s worth loosing time playing games of causing scars.
I think we all have had that moment or a few where we close our eyes and fall away into abyss.
Apr 2019 · 1.7k
Hallelujah
Timur Shamatov Apr 2019
Into a pool of ecstasy we both fall
A moment of honesty as we both lose control
Souls intertwine morphing into one
Hallelujah on my lips and
No regrets as
We both fall victim to exuberant romance...
Mar 2019 · 575
Fade
Timur Shamatov Mar 2019
As flames of love begin to fade
I realize you mimic someone that I used to know...
        
              Whom now, I don’t remember.
Just feels kind of wrong when time tends to make you forget someone you thought you couldn’t go a second without.
Mar 2019 · 1.2k
Devil In A Mirror
Timur Shamatov Mar 2019
Devil in a mirror imposing voices in your head, causing harm.
Seeds of painful past take root within your dying heart.
Every step you take had lead you closer to the edge - edge of self inflicted doubts.
Insecurities like knifes cutting deeper causing scars.
All alone, walls are closing in as you collapse fighting fear.
Light of truth fading faster as you fall into darkness of your mind.
Chaos building, twisting every memory and thought.
Falling into rabbit’s hole, deeper faster with no way out.
Psychosis taking over, soul is dying losing hope.
Thoughts of red lines up and down your inner thighs relieving pain.
Causing you to contemplate red lines across your wrist to **** it all.
One loud scream as you face yourself.
Devil in a mirror disappears as you close your eyes.
Mind is blank as you take a breath.
Smile across your face as you silence painful thoughts.
Strength is rising, realizing warmth of light is always creeping in through the cracks.
People need to remember that no matter how bad things get there are cracks in everything that’s how the light gets in.
Feb 2019 · 784
Smile For The Last Time
Timur Shamatov Feb 2019
I watch you smile for the last time
Your fragile heart is growing still
With tear soaked eyes
I place my lips upon your brow to say goodbye
One final breath and then you’re gone
I look to the sky about to see you off
Across the line your soul has passed
Through darkness into light
You take your place in galaxy of stars
And it fills my heart with loving joy as
You ascend to Heaven’s Gates above
Wrote this for a friend who’s grandmother has passed away.... imagining how she felt as she watched her loved one move on.
Feb 2019 · 393
Devil’s Paradise
Timur Shamatov Feb 2019
Angel grabbing, pulling at my soul
Yet, unbeknownst to her, I sold it years ago
With everything I say and
With everything I do
I try to be so right but
All I want to do is wrong
Slowly evanescing into flames of red
Into misty, hazy shades of blue
Descending into Hell
Forbidden from ascending into bliss
Cause why would I want to go up to Heaven
When everyone I know is going down to Devil’s Paradise
Timur Shamatov Feb 2019
Girl I know I’m not the only one you see
And I don’t care
Cause I do the same
I’ll let you close your eyes and
Through me you can make love to him
I can blow the candles out and
Turn up your favorite song
Because I don’t wanna see or hear the
Dying beating of your heart

Now tell me baby...

Do you want it darker still?
Felt like the original poen needed a little explanation.
Jan 2019 · 563
I’m Ready
Timur Shamatov Jan 2019
Every cut,
     every fall,
          has lead me to this moment.

And I think...
        I’m ready to finally meet you.
Coming on 35 years of age and I think I’m ready to give my time to one person.
Jan 2019 · 1.2k
Demons Within
Timur Shamatov Jan 2019
I must be crazy to want this
even crazier to say it out loud
“Cause you are the girl of my dreams”

To give you something so precious
that was just meant for one person
Not for anyone else’s eyes to see.
                        
But..
I'm prone to ruin the good things, fighting through thorns of my past.
Cautious, sensing my demons within.
                    
Thinking...
That I can be the partner you’d love,
share our bed, protect you and keep my demons at bay.

But baby, who’s gonna protect me from your demons within...
Never tried to go back to date any of my ex’s and never will.
Jan 2019 · 437
You Should Know
Timur Shamatov Jan 2019
To a beat of a heart
I can write you
A Song
and with every word like
Michael Jackson
Thrill You...

But waste my beats and
I’ll twist every word
like a
Rope Around Your Neck
and
**** You.
Oh you know dating be crazy.
Jan 2019 · 696
New Year’s Eve
Timur Shamatov Jan 2019
Little after 2am, I was texting driving home
Time was slipping into mounds of sand
You were joking, playing games
Texting me that it was early and
You haven’t got your kiss
Texted you that anything was possible if
You came and brought Champagne
Mind fuzzy, lost in thought
Seemed my drive it took forever cause
Your reply, it never came
Parked my car and thought to call you
Just to see if you’re awake
Never got the chance to do it cause
I saw you at my door
Flames of red and curly hair
Freckles on your cheeks, smile on your lips
And in your hand a bottle of Champagne
Beautiful way to end the cold and sad December.
Dec 2018 · 232
Fatal Affliction
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
Staring at you through a glass of
My self-inflicted barrier of thought
No matter what I say or do the
Message isn’t getting through

“Darling can’t you sense the pain of
  cuts upon your blood-soaked hands as
  you’re trying to assemble the pieces of
                            my shattered heart....”

Lips upon my tear-soaked eyes
As we spend our final night
Knowing that your tenet won’t come true
As I watch you struggle through affliction

“How can you try to mend it in the dark,
         specially when someone else has        
                     stolen some of it’s parts...”
Not long after being dumped I met a beautiful soul who tried to bring me back to life through love... I hated myself for hurting her because I wasn’t ready for Love nor did I thought I could at that time. I hope our paths cross again so I can show you what you meant to me. Thank you.
Dec 2018 · 474
Texting like...
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
We can talk all night
About the things we like
Or we can take this time
To turn each other out.
You know you wanna it too
Tonight my times’ with you
Kiss you there, and touch you here
Close your eyes we almost there.
So close to heaven
Flouting on cloud nine
Clear your mind
Tonight we gonna fly.
Cause when I kiss your neck
I touch your soul
And when I pull your hair
You’ll lose control.
Now baby wouldn’t it be sweet
If all night I was with you
Hold you tight and
Kiss you through and through....
When she’s too far so we start with a little texting back and forth...
Dec 2018 · 302
Things I Hear
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
As you hang with your new crew
To the sky, raising shots celebrating
Things that, as adolescents, we used to do
Know as I hang with new crowd too
I too, reminisce over **** we used to do.
I miss one of my best friends. ***** how it all ended. But I do hope he is happy and healthy. Much love to you Mike and your family.
Dec 2018 · 422
Expectations
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
Expectations can be such a misery
Misery of unexpected truth
Truth that blinds us
Us that expectation have tore apart
Apart from what we knew
Knew that in the end we weren’t true
True be the misery of expectations too
Running through my thoughts...
Dec 2018 · 375
Your Smile
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
To Hades
I’d sell my soul
For pittance

Just

For a chance
To recall
Your Smile
Dec 2018 · 856
You Want It Darker...
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
The rain came down in sheets that night
Thunder, as lightning split the sky
In that flash of light I saw you at my door
Your tear filled eyes glistened in a dark.
You want it darker?

Whistles of the wind through wires as
Rain knocked agains the windows of my room
Glass of wine in candle’s dancing light
Drama of the one you left behind.
You want it darker?

Your story was so incredibly complexed
In the way of pain inflicted perfect storm
How the one you love - left you broken
Hurting, at my door, looking for revenge.
You want it darker?

With every kiss our friendship’s dying
With every teardrop revenge was growing hotter
No love can heal the pain we’re causing
As we fell lower our fury burnt brighter.
You want it darker?

Like stars on a cloudy night
My true feelings were hiding in a dark
I couldn’t even look you directly in your eyes
Cause through you I was making love to her.
You want it darker?

Agonizing pain of self Inflicted cuts
Hearts drained of passion, dying fast
We both knew that you’re in love with him
I’m still in love with fading light of her.
You want it darker?

Like waves crashing agains a shore
I felt your pain collide with mine
Eyes wide shut as we reached out to touch
In our minds we wanted the ones that we were not.
You want it darker?

Dying candles flicker in a rays of raising sun
Lifeless hearts, falling out of lovers grasp
I used the blood for ink to pen this poem as
Angels wept in sheets the night before.

You want it darker.....
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
Some time still yet to go
Till The End Of December
The nuts are turning blue
I’m cracking at this wicked thoughts
So is my patience
****** no pun was intended
In a shower and I use no soap cause
You know what that leads to, ahhh
I’m shaking at the thought that
I could make it, cause baby
You know that there is nothing worst then
Trying to bone over the phone and
At this point I don’t need all that much
I swear if you show up and try to touch
I’m taking you down on a spot and
I don’t care who’s around to witness
Like a bull in a china store
All I see is red - the color of your dress
And I’m not trying to offend anyone
But ****** I’m finning for your body
Like a crackhead baby I’ll **** your... toes
Lick that crack between your... *******
Tunnel vision, cause all I see is you as
We get closer to the end of this *******
No Nut Till The End Of December.
Tripping at the thought that I can win this bet by making it without *** till the end of December. Fingers crossed as few more weeks still yet to go.
Dec 2018 · 691
I Still Love You
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
I couldn’t see the end, yet
We STILL tried like we were true
In unfinished LOVE you let me go
Cause within your heart, YOU felt that I would cheat on you.
Ran into my ex today...

When I finished this poem and was looking for what to name it... my friend pointed out the title, I didn’t even see it.
Dec 2018 · 215
You’re The One
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
Dating is fine.
     *** is cool.
          But you’re the one who makes it fun.
Dec 2018 · 217
Self Inflicted Pain
Timur Shamatov Dec 2018
Why would I ever hurt you with lies...
    
         When the truth is already killing you.
Nov 2018 · 842
Wicked Thoughts (Part III)
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
Passion of this night is blooming into
What we would only know as love
Naked bodies clutching to each other
Satisfied, resuscitating from unison ******
Never thought that deepness of your eyes
Would convince me otherwise but
**** baby you got me falling
Throwing fear and caution to the wind
Never wanna lose the the rhythm of
Hearts beating as we lay chest to chest
Souls are morphing into one as
I feel your lips on mine
Taste so sweet so right
Never felt more real as I do with you
To you my dear I wish to say “Hello”
Cause in my heart I know that
With you is where my heart
My soul
        And
             My love
                    Belong.
Thought about writing something for a dear friend with whom I got to spend some time with.
Nov 2018 · 6.4k
Till The End Of December
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
It’s been said that I couldn’t do it,
Go without a nut till the end of December.
The whispers growing louder as
The bets are growing higher,
Cause no one trust the line that
Timur has given up the nut,
Ah, let me check... yes
From the mid of November.
Am I crazy to play this game?
Cause I’m as weak as any other man.
And what can be better then a nut on
A cold morning in mid of December?
And oh my god there’s so many nuts,
Of every shape, size and color
But ****** I’m a man and I can
Give up a nut till the end of December.
But you better believe it
That the day after The Cold Sad December,
Your boy is going crazy to celebrate
The End Of No Nut December.
Oh you know, just messing around trying to win this bets.
Nov 2018 · 872
Wicked Thoughts (Part II)
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
Everything and more that’s what I’ll be
We have all night yet still to go
So close your eyes and lose control
Bodies twisting, arching at a thought
Cause when I kiss your neck
I touch your soul
Sweat your body covers
Nails digging into flesh
Squeezing me so tightly
Never let me go
Closer still as one we grow
Falling deeper into yen
Minds dreaming of what’s next
Bodies acting in response
Dancing to the rhythm of our hearts
Folding, bending into lust’s decree
Slow and deep our bodies rise and fall
In your eyes I see my word liquefying into bliss
In the way you bite your lip and moan
As lust changing - morphing into
Something so unreal yet so profound...
Nov 2018 · 299
I Miss Our Friendship
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
I realize that I miss your friendship on
A level of which I never knew before.
In the way we spent all day just talking
About things that mean something to only me and you.
As you worked all night, so you texted till I passed out.
As I woke, I’d texted you till you passed out too.
You were a true friend who didn’t need me to always reach out first cause you were true.
And I know why we had to say goodbye
Cause we were morphing into tragic story
Of wanting something we couldn’t have.
I know you’ll see this, know that what I feel is love; on a level of true friendship.
Never wanted to end like this, and I don’t want you reach out to say you miss me too, cause I know you do.
Just to say goodbye again.
In a world full of fake, know you were true and I love your spirit and miss your soul.
I miss my friend, she was always one to keep it real and caped me focused and moving forward. But when you spend too much time together emotions grow....
Nov 2018 · 451
Algid Night
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
Succumbing to ghosts of lustful past
Knowing that my soul will be the price
Falling further into beauty of our chaos

Baby, I love the way you take it slow
You are the angel at my door and
The devil within me, taking all control

We both know how this will end
Yet, we push on; falling victim to our past
Lonely ghosts reappearing on algid night.
Sometimes even knowing that it’s bad for you, we still push on because it’s familiar.
Nov 2018 · 1.1k
Lose Myself
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
I don’t want to lose myself...
                              
                                 ­      loving you.
Sometimes going back to someone is a lot harder then letting them go in the first place.
Nov 2018 · 969
First Kiss
Timur Shamatov Nov 2018
I will always remember
The night
When I reached out to
Kiss You
And
With that kiss
I
   made
              you
                      mine....
Reminiscing over a woman I got to date for three years. Always a great memory.
Oct 2018 · 213
Never Thought
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
Never thought I’d see you
Never thought I would like this
You bared your body by
Sending me your naked pics

You showed your soul to total stranger
And covered me in bliss
It’s a shame I never got to touch you
I never got that kiss

I know I come across as crazy
It’s funny, so do you
With plans that we make often
Will never be the truth

Never thought I’d meet you
Never really did
But seeing you so naked
It really got me shook

I hope you one day know this
To me you meant much more
Your body I’ve always wanted second
Your soul was always first.
Oct 2018 · 289
The Morning After
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
In a place of love I wake
To lustful gaze in you
I’m lost in winter of your eyes
They match the color of my heart
A Hue of Frozen Blue
Oct 2018 · 306
Wicked Thoughts (Part I)
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
I can play this game with you
Tell you all about the things I do
How my mind runs through wild thoughts
About the night of crazy lust
If you close your pretty eyes
You can feel it through the night
How I kiss you deep and soft
Lay you down and take control
Body shiver at my touch
Tearing clothes without a thought
Grab your hips and kiss your neck
Lick your lips and taste your soul
In a candle light - we toss and turn
Shadows dancing on a wall
Kiss my lips and **** my tongue
Feel the rhythm of your love
Kiss you sweet and lick you slow
Taste your passion
Won’t let go
Mouth to ******* and ******* too
Bite you gentle
Grip you firm
Between your thighs is where I want to be
Push and pull, succumbing to our lust
Bodies twisting - turning into one
Gonna make you shake and moan
Everything you need and want
Trust, I’ll be the one to give it all...
Oct 2018 · 755
I love...
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
I love the way the night conceals
My lonely silent heart
I love the way you touch me
In the coldest moments of the night
I love the way you kiss me
When I’m longing for her love
And
I know
You love the way I hold you
As the sun blinds your tear filled eyes.
We all have that one person in our life that we can never be with... that person could be us or them. Either way sometimes we can’t be everything the other person wants.
Oct 2018 · 373
Yearn to Fly
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
Lusting for the skies above
Like a bird I yearn to fly
Close my eyes and feel the gust
Take the leap and hope to rise

Sky of blue within my grasp
On a cusp of taking flight
I could fall but I don’t care
Freedom of my soul the wind shall bear.
Sometimes we all just wanna get away from it all.
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
Persona Non-Grada
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
So sweet
I love the way you lie
Telling me you miss me
Oceans of your piercing eyes are
Washing over me
Trying to convince me that
I won't be wasting time
Ah but the thoughts of lonely nights
Reminiscing over you
Only reinforce the fact that
Your Pretty Little Heart
Will never beat as fast as mine
When an apology comes in a time when it’s no longer wanted or needed. Goodbye my sweet.
Oct 2018 · 434
No Second Chances
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
Passion burning bright
In a silent goodbye
I'm watching you smile
For the last time
As soft as you were
Gentler you'll go
And all the thoughts
Of heart's desires
Melt away in a thought
That I'm too scared to say
"I never want to say goodbye"
Oct 2018 · 1.2k
Love is a Drug
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
Love is like a ****** - it hurts at first
Like a shooting pain from a needle that
****** the skin in a middle of your arm
Like a fire, floating through your veins as it
Burns it's way to a middle of your heart
Before it clouds your mind
You feel your body float as
Free as one will ever be
Unknowingly your mind slows and races
To unimagined peak of ecstasy.
Oct 2018 · 1.5k
Fading Dreams
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
As I lay... ever so awake
Hours long before the sun ascents
In bed with you is where I want to be
Watch you sleep and smile at the thought
That here, my dear is where I want to be
Baby, even though you’ll never know
The daydream of this - imagined scene

As hour of the bright draws near
I’ll drift further from the truth of you
Into rain and melancholy shades of blue
Makeup of my fake placed smile
Gives way through my dappled mind
The sun is peeking through the cracks
As rays of light eliminate obscurity of
My self delusion thoughts...
Saw my ex the other day and my thoughts of “what if” came to play...
Oct 2018 · 468
I can Feel
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
I can feel your heart bleeding,
Through our one connected soul.
I can feel the hurt I caused it,
Through the nights we spend alone.
I can feel the love you’re hiding,
Through the truth I feel from you.  
I can sense the pain can be subsided,
Through the love I feel for you.
Sometimes when you have an argument best thing to do is write what you feel and slide the note across the table...
Oct 2018 · 954
Black Roses
Timur Shamatov Oct 2018
Flames of passion dying red
Ambers fading - turning black

Dreams of love filled thoughts
Turning into pain filled doubts

Mind caught in purgatory
Of self inflicted speculation

Angels falling from skies above
Demons raising from hateful contemplation

Roots never had a chance to take
Roses welting from the lack of faith

From the start you already knew
That what you felt was so untrue

Black roses is what I’ll give to you
To signify the end of what we meant to you.
Sep 2018 · 229
Initial Moment of Impact
Timur Shamatov Sep 2018
Sounded like a drum
Arrow through the chest
Knees the ground hit
Heart is bleeding still
Never saw you come
Never saw you leave
No one stops to help
No one ever will...
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