sometimes I have a hard time
the person who I actually am,
I am used to be filled with negative
and draining thoughts
but who am I next to that?
some days I forget that I'm actually
under a surface of anxiety and thoughts
under a layer of the weird way my brain functions
maybe I find her again,
I hope to meet her soon.
I would like to get to know myself
god I missed your lips
oh to stumble all upon the
Feeling of love again
your lips taste so sweet
every time my phone lights up
I hope the notification says your name.
you make me smile more than I would like to admit
will find someone better,
over and over.
its 1am and I’m sitting here
scratching my face
lowkey hating the way I look
and when I look in the mirror I wish I could see what you see in me
I've been staring at the word
under your contact name
for the past hour
its staring back at me
I'm desperately waiting for a reply
i let jealousy take me over
because I know you're texting her
instead of me.
you're both online and i'm just here crying.
“don't leave me here, please.“
I begged myself,
while I was shaking and crying
I begged myself not to leave me in this.
In this awful state of mind.
and I promised myself that things would get better.