'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
Til the window flew open, the thief did commence
He stole the boy's Xbox, and the girl's innocence
He crumbled the cookies, knocked over a glass
The father came out; shot him in the ***
The mother was screaming, in horror and fear
She didn't notice her son, he opened a beer
The cat ripped the stockings, the dog ate the goods
While all hell broke loose, the thief ran, to the woods
The girl found the phone, she held it so fond
She dialed 991, the girl was a blonde
She then started crying, the boy stomped around
Until he passed out, and fell to the ground
The clock chimed twelve times, the conscious met fright
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.