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Seb Tha Guru Feb 2020
My last name is guilt trip.
Full first name resentment.
As bad as I wanted so many things, I never go the distance.

It’s even got me writing my poetry different.
Exposing myself to new limits and questioning everything in the universe and in between.

Now I have to distance myself.

My self pity and selfishness is what got me here in this position.
Having nightmares of demolition.
Misguided on intuition.
Love is something I’ve been misusing, only for my satisfactions or competitions.
Only thing in this loaded gun of mine is premonitions.

Now I need and seek clarity.
I once again need therapy.
I now too lack empathy.
I had to even just look up the definition, to make sure I use it correctly.
Tired of only giving to what won’t accept me.
I just hope that when the choir and the eulogy’s next me, we know what love cost.
Seb Tha Guru Feb 2020
So many bottles and rello wraps.
I’ve been reminiscing while I’m writing raps.
Evidently how my poems slaps.
Im trying to reach your hearts but I lost the map.

I drown myself in poison.
I feel traded on, Derozen.
It’s safe to say my heart’s still frozen.
Now drugs and bottle’s have gotten provoking.
I was chosen.
Twist my tops to open.
All of my feelings are mixed with potion, and got me smiling.

Now I’m stuck on islands.
I feel so castaway.

I’ve watered down my life.
I’ve come from pain and sacrifice.
Can’t even tell you about my life.
It’s sad to say though, I’d do this twice.
Forever drowning.
Seb Tha Guru Feb 2020
The more that I love, the more that I hurt.
The more that I bleed, the less that I’m worth.
I hustled for mine.
Built from the dirt.
The more that I lie, the more that I curse.

The more that I need her, the more she won’t stay.
I live in the dark.
I stayed out the way.
Bitter, but only at times of the day.
Now my initials NWA.

Now I want it all.
I want revenge.
Take it to God.
Forgiving my sins.
I want to be one.
I want to be love.
I want to be young.
I outgrew my friends.

Now I’m harder to break.
I’m harder to shake.
My poems are wack.
You can’t relate.
I’m tired of hate.
I’m tired of snakes.
I was the dreamer that stayed awake.

I’m holding a grudge.
They want me to fall.
They want me to starve.
I see that facades.
They said it was love, so I wished on a star.
They wanted my soul.
They gave me my scars.

The more that I try, the more that I cry.
I’m aiming for heads, I don’t need a why.
I put that on my team.
The logo’s a tree.
A successors revenge.
It’s all growing from me.
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2019
I guess you reap what you sow.
I gotta get it and go.
No time to panic and fold.
I put these tithes on the road.
All that glitters ain’t gold.

Stayed loyal.
Stuck to the code.
With timing, only God knows.
From the concrete, what grew was a rose.

Once was a fool.
Depression the state.
My views misshaped.
I only cling’d to a tool, she saw it through my shirt and asked if it’s new.

My heart jaded.
Thoughts segregated.
Fed into greed and the hatred.
Before I knew it, all our love went and faded.
Feeling out dated.
Drunk off of words in California, I created myself a mind state and named it that special place that’s in Georgia.
Or in Houston.
Sprung off of something I loved in spring.
I was in love with some things that my eyes had never seen.
Now concluding pipe dreams.

The pessimistic definitions strictly of my poetry,
You’re forever something that’s controlling me.
Seb Tha Guru Nov 2019
Lord,
pick up, I been calling all night.

I just wanted to go home.

I lack motivation and concentration;
Leave me alone.

Innervating all my words just to keep myself strong.
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2019
A poet.

Only God knows this journey I venture.
Do not enter is a sign that I have placed on my heart to keep away the evil that surrounds me.

Energy.
A vibe called myself.

Chastised from my subconsciously wrong doings.
However, I’m still growing, learning, and evolving.

What’s left or next for Seb?
I can’t even tell you, even though I’ve only emptied out one bag of so many of my thoughts, emotions, and passions.

From dusk to dusk I sit and contemplate.
Medicating along with meditating is no longer my comfort zone.

But somehow,
I’m still forming into my own.
Seb Tha Guru Jul 2019
I got inspired and started writing at the airport.
A mile high.
Like I tried to write a lullaby for you and I.

Do or die?
Til death do us apart.
I’ll let you decide.
Tried to ride the wave, but they tanked and couldn’t catch the tide.

Slicing everybody up some humble pie.

Hold me down through my troubled times.
Or you can be another victim to my stubborn pride.
A Nipsey quote.
Cleared the air but now, I want all the smoke.
It’s one love but still missing substance, are you even woke.

Lacking all the talent, recreate your passion.
People die from what they fake,
and put it in a caption.

Rags to riches in my own fashion.
Avoiding all distractions.
Done overreacting over selfish and childish actions.
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