"Are you afraid?"

Yes I am afraid.
I'm afraid of so much
like the endings to books,
actually loving someone,
having to tell my mother
what I am.

I'm afraid that my family
will hate me,
that my friends already
do.
That everyone who sees me
labels me as
Miss Confused.

I'm afraid of death and life
and everything in between the
two.
Maybe I'm afraid of myself
but I don't truly have
a clue.

I know I'm afraid of who I will
love one day.
What if they hate me now
or what if they think I'm weird?
What if it's the person I broke up
because I didn't love them
anymore.

I'm afraid of a lot of things
and everyone knows it.
Because a world without
fear.
Is like a world without
law.
It's unruly and unjust.
And you do stupid
things that can
get everyone
killed.

So I'm afraid of the alternative,
the thing I fear most
in this world.

I'm
just
action
packed
with
Issues

My heels click
on the floor
Click click click  

I walk up to you
all *******
and At my mercy

Naked
Helpless
All Mine

I grab you gently
caressing
stroking

"This is mine
all mine
not yours"

"This is mine to play with
mine to do with
what I please"

"And maybe...Just maybe
if you're good
I'll let you have some fun"

I kiss you lightly
on the lips
and walk away

Click
Click
*Click

In a world full of black and white.

Where not a soul could be bothered within their mundane ways.

There was a single girl, shining in full blasted, techno-color.

In this world of dark hues of haunting shades.
Vacant entity's, refuse to look up from scurrying feet.

Day in and out, they mooed like cattle.

But not the vibrant Crayola girl.  

For all she had to do was look up,
and she could see her rainbow arching in the clouds.

While everyone else, passed her by.

the feelings inside
crash within me
like waves against the cliff side.

Their cold embrace
threaten to drown me
in their icy waters.

Waves of pain
keep spilling into me
flooding me with its all consuming despair

Hold my breath
I kick my way to the surface,
trying to find the sun's light.

My head breaks through,
take a huge gulp of air.
I made it, I survived

But the churning water drags me down again
The light slowly fading
All sence of direction gone.

The water invades me,
filling my nose and mouth
flooding my lungs.

I'm drowining in my emotions
Just when I think I am on dry ground
they drag me back with binding chains.

I come clean about the night,
How the moon sets
In the morning and parts
To reveal the light,
And with it
My scars—below the eyes,
On my lips,
My perfection all but blighted.