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Jan 2020 · 94
You
Aihara Jan 2020
You
She was poetry
But
He couldn't read
Nov 2018 · 125
House of Strangers
Aihara Nov 2018
I remembered,
Holding your finger,
I was assured,
I won't ever went astray.

I remembered,
The warm fuzzy feeling,
Just like the sun,
Whenever you're around.

I remembered,
I was complete.

Nothing really changes,
Same house, same faces,
But I don't know who you are,
Or  who I really am anymore.
Sep 2018 · 306
I am you too.
Aihara Sep 2018
From a distance, fade and keep fadin
the palm of our shaky hands touched the cold mirror
There is no stopping the halt of  the creeping disassociation
Identity, stripped away like the distant memories of the future
who's there , why you are always there , Do we know each other?

Love me, I did well
Hold me, in your light
take me, to your future

There's no way,
I know no such person,
There's no way, that you are me.

I rather die than being seen
And you know I wanna be seen
The reason to quietly sobbing in the stalls
The exact reason to be that perfect, wholesome guy
I guess I'm just a very sensitive person. I felt the pain of the late Jonghyun , Chester , Tim. The reason why they did what they did. But I also felt the pain losing them.
May 2018 · 284
The Nature of Life
Aihara May 2018
I'm not afraid to walk alone
Even though
its undeniably lonely.
But
I gotta keep moving
took me years to realised I'm such a sensitive person but Im proud of myself. I might tear up over the little things people did, good or bad but that doesn't make me weak. I can fight whenever needed and my equanimity is something worth vaunting about.
May 2018 · 234
The Ride
Aihara May 2018
The imminent river,
inevitable ride;
unwilling passenger,
whether the strap snapped, disconnected;
Or stuck till final destination, rock bottom.

Was all this necessary
Im great, Im happy
Stop misdiagnosed me
Im no other than me

neuroses and religion
who i am to wish for oblivion
one opinion define none
On seeking whats the norm and what is wrong.

Im trying to live, to fit in
Just normally like everybody
Normal to me but it isnt
what am I, Who I am without

I am, was, I will be okay
Why it felt like a replay
No choice but to compelled
Who said its mine to choose
Cause it wil be forever replayed

For now the strap hold on
on repeat, hitting rock bottom
Its true the only way left is up
no in between, stuck in a time wrap.
I hate it when I couldn't accept myself for who I am. My scars, my illness.
Its not my fault I was born with it.
May 2018 · 330
Untitled
Aihara May 2018
I walked home on my own
Stayed after you said you're not fine through the phone
I spent my lifetime to make you feel better
Why couldn't you see me?

Said you love Cardistry
Coding for a living
I gave my time to learn both
so you have someone to play with
or at least Im something to you.

I love you at point I couldn't even say
something or anything that will hurt you
whenever you told me you need me
I always trying my best to be there

Running, stumbling made a fool of myself
Just so I can be there with you
So you won't feel alone
Even its just over the phone.

Now you're gone
No goodbye not a thing
Tell me you're fine
Tell me to let you go
Tell me you hate me
Just tell me something.
I can't even hate him, I just need a closure.
May 2018 · 453
... and this is my story
Aihara May 2018
Laying in my bed,
In my head neurosis hit again;
Greetings! Just like an old friend,
That one unwanted, pretentious man.

Got a hint I won't be breathing again,
One last chance to make it last;
Forever green I missed my old grin,
From back when I was younger;
Where I never stop to wander.

I remembered barefoot on my way home,
Alone with no one to walk along,
Mom said I should be capable to be on my own;
Looking back no child should walk alone,
Many could go wrong but it decide to wait for its turn.
part 1

— The End —