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little lion Feb 2018
happy
skinny
lovely
kind
strong
brave
pretty
sweet
smart
creative­

yours.
I’m tired.
little lion Jan 2018
im sick of waiting for you
to
fulfill the promises
that you’ve already broken

stop acting like you want to fix things.
you’ve done
too much
damage already.
little lion Jan 2018
i am not the kind of sick
that leaves the body flushed
at 104 degrees
in the middle of the winter.

                                                               ­                  i am not the kind of sick
                                                            ­                         that causes every breath
                                                          ­          to force
                                                           ­         its way

                                                               ­    back up

                                                             yo­ur throat
                                                          ­             while dragging razor blades
along the inside of your neck.

                       i am not even the kind of sick
                       that comes with a vaccination
                                  or an antibiotic
                            that will chase it away.
no.
                                                                ­                          i am the kind of sick
that leaves you locked in
the bathroom during class
because you can't seem to stop the
             flow of tears
                       running
                               down
                                     your face.

i am the kind of sick
that leaves your hands
sweating
and your voice
shaking
when it's your turn to order dinner
at the diner you've been to
a thousand times.
                                            
                                             i am the kind of sick
                                         that leaves you feeling

l o n e l y
                                              in a crowded room
                                           filled with the people you've
                                           known your whole life.

i am the kind of sick                                                                  ­                                that nobody sees
                                        because it's all in my head
                                      and cannot be cured.
mental health is just as important as physical health. take care of yourself.
little lion Jan 2018
my bones are slowly          
                              b  r  e  a  k  i  ­n  g
                                              a     p     a     r     t
without your T  O  U  C  H
to hold them together.

your lips sealed my fate like g l u e
my body is     s    t    u    c    k
waiting and
waiting and
waiting and
w a i t i n g

for you to come back and fix me
little lion Jan 2018
Each morning she took two pills with her breakfast. Both were little capsules, the first one a nasty tan color and the second half white and half blue. They went down easy, followed by a glass of water before the bottles were placed back on the shelf for the next day.
One is for the anxiety, the other is for the depression. She takes them dutifully every day, for without them she is plagued with the kind of darkness that makes your blood run cold and the walls feel like they’re beginning to swallow you inside.
But with them, it is not much brighter. The words of her mother and the insults from her father follow her through the light, casting a shadow that trails behind her. The C- on her math test and the glares from her friends feed the darkness. Each step grows heavier as the shadow grows larger and stronger.
He climbs up onto her shoulders in order to reach the high expectations and the pressure that she stands under each day. They weigh him down, which weighs her down, which leaves her dragging her feet along the pavement while begging for the sweet relief that those stupid orange bottles swear they hold.
The shadow claims her in the night, pounding away at her walls, drawing whimpers and sobs from her lips. The pain is masked by the pleasure he brings her, which is masked by her relief when she wakes up alone the next morning, and then the guilt when she finds him awaiting her presence at the kitchen table.
Two pills, followed by a glass of water and the shadow each morning. Her begging and pleading for him to leave her shatters her resolve, and one cold morning she begins to cry. She throws herself at the world, asking them to please save her from this man, save her from the pain and the fear and the darkness that’s been plaguing her for so long.
One word. Two letters. He swallows her whole.
One glass of water. Two empty bottles. Three numbers bring four sirens.
One sound. One line.
Time of death: 06:04 AM
An assignment from creative writing a couple months back...
little lion Jan 2018
I
   Am
        So
           Tired
                Of
                    The
                        Memories
                            Of
                               You
They
      Haunt
            My
                Dreams
                     And
                        Turn
                            Them
                                  Into
                                       Nightmares.
I hate sleeping alone because there’s nobody to distract me from you
little lion Jan 2018
you
his kisses will never compare to the feeling of
your
lips brushing against my skin while
your
hands tangle themselves in my hair.

my name will never roll off of his tongue like it rolls off of
yours
when my body is molded against
yours
in the dark.

his touch will not send shivers down my spine the way
yours
always does when my hand is held by
yours
as we walk.


i’ll never love him the way i loved                                                                  ­  
you...
the way I still love                                                                        ­                      
you.

  

maybe his love for me won’t fade away like                      
yours                                 ­                     
did after you met                                            
her...
Even after everything he did, I can’t help but love him...
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