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His voice was like velvet
Lyrics soaked in pain
His hair was so fluffy
Like he'd walked through rain

The gentle movements
And expressive chords
Rippled out through the audience
Couldn't not applaud
you will love again
--I think I have an issue--
That's the problem, this is it

The only thing that's really haunting me, is this strange "what if"

The theory that if my childhood
Was a little more nurturing

That I would not be the same person;
The one that's left soul searching

Well that theory is wrong
I have to say it is quite brave

To admit the only thing that's right there
Standing in the way

Is the belief that I am broken
And I should just be ashamed

Well that belief is wrong
I have to say
That really, I'm okay.

It's hard to hear when friends start talking
About all their family

And while I hush the voice inside that
Compares mine so violently

I must forgive myself
For all the judgement
I readily inflict

But if Im the one that's punishing
Then I'm my own convict

And to be truly okay
There is nothing more to do than stop

Thinking I have had it worse
Than everyone that comes along

Because I don't know their experiences
I haven't been in their skin

And my assumptions about better lives
Will never see me win

I must be grateful for experiences
The ones stuck in my skin

So I'm happy I can think like this
I'm happy I can swim

In shallow waters or the deep end
I can bash around to move

Or I could just allow myself to float
Give into it let lose

I can just be myself and whole
Nothing truly needs to change

Except the idea that I am different;
Us humans all the same.
If there were light
I could see the trees
From my bedroom window
Hanging over me

And I could pretend
To feel the wind
Watch the leaves all moving
And glistening

If there were light
I would see so clearly
In my room I wouldn't trip up
I'd walk so freely

If there were light
I'd see what I looked like
My appearance id change it
Put up a fight

If there were light
I'd feel much more safe
I wouldn't check the door
Lock so much each day

If there were light
I'd find others like me
to walk this road
I wouldn't be lonely

But there is some light
Even if I stumble through
Even if I think the worse of me
I'll make it through

I want to be much better
Don't want to walk in late
I wasn't born from love
But I won't die from hate
"I know where you stand, silent in the trees"   |-/
Another night of crying
I know it's all in my head
The tide is coming in
And i should have just gone to bed

I don't know what's upsetting me
Or why I can't think straight
Just when I close my mind
I just tend to initiate

The conversations in the day I've had
The ones I want to speak
Overthinking the way I dress
And everything I keep

I keep on thinking I must stand straight
And stop saying the word "like"
After every **** sentence
I just need to make my life

More pretty, More well sewn
Expensive, and maybe just more pure
But honestly, I feel *****
No matter how much I shower

The interactions hurt me
Really put me off of all this love
That everyone seems to get so high off
To me it feels like a drug

It takes your dreams and it scrambles them
To make you compromise
The things I've done for love
I am just tired of all the lies

The tide is coming in
And surely I will finally feel cold
I wonder if I will still think like this
Even when I am old
doubt seeps through
my head
the questions I've said

don't really make much sense
have I passed?
I beg

You, please tell me
I just can't wait much more

I wish I could be her
Or anyone

Somebody good
And professional
Just down right nice

If I could switch my place
Or just switch my eyes

But that's nothing
I need to analyse

But the more I find
The more I want to cry

They don't stop
I just think too much

I know just what to do!
But never know enough.

I need to scoop my brain out
Empty it like ice-

Cream, lay the contents out
and hope that would suffice

Me, I should mix them up
And see what I'm made of

Which flavours do I make
Which flavours are made up?

Because I'm done today
Sort it out!

it's my mess to clean
It's my success I doubt
We have a house today
With a kitchen too
Loads of pots and pans

And thank God for my family
And thank God for my hands

I can write
I can draw
I can read and talk too

I can see twenty two colours
I can see me and you

It's amazing really
If you think about your life

If you stop your head from buzzing
Good things do take time

And good things do exist
And you will be fine

You can be calm right now
No pressure to realise

Anything. You're complete.
Everything you need, you have.

So go to sleep, in the morning
You'll start again.
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