I wake up
And press snooze
And when I actually awake
my life is liquid
And I am floating through
Unaware of things that pass through air so quickly
Because when they come through me
The things slow down
If only memories could be as easily deleted as pictures.
Maybe i've already started deleting them, and have only kept the shiny ones worth putting on instagram.
artsy af **** (jk)
There's so much food
In my section of the fridge that's way past it's sell by date but not quite rotten yet.

I know I'm
not going to cook it, but I'll still wait till it's moulding before I throw it out.

I haven't been the same since you left me.
And if I can't tell the truth to anybody, I guess i'll have to write it here and call it poetry.

I wish I was one of those people who could realise that I'm fine alone, but I'm not.

I need people and my skills are ridiculously deficit, I feel like I'm fooling these people into believing I am someone worth hanging out with.

They don't buy it at all.

They don't buy food they know they won't cook.
I have to stop placing people higher than me
In how I see how they are
In importance, see
I haven't got it through
my head that everyone
Is just bones and fluids
And thoughts and fun

All these ideas I have
About who I think you were
Are actually untrue
you are just a person

And this anxiety I have
That seems to wash over me
Is only here because deep down I think
You're better than me

There is no better or worse
Everybody just is
There isn't popular or outcast
Unless you start to think

they're just opinions and thoughts
And I just think too much
But I am sick to the core
I'm done giving a ****

I don't care how many likes
You got on Facebook today
I don't care how high your grades are
We both passed, ok!

I don't care who you are friends with
And who they're dating this week
I don't care what you did this summer
if it makes me feel weak

I want to know how you feel
I want to hear your passions
I want to feel your fear
And talk about the old fashioned

Ways that people would talk
And act so elegantly
Without these interactive
Mind magnets
changing our speech

I want to be confused
And vulnerable
I want that to be ok
And acceptable

I want to be myself
And care about other people
Not these manufactured movie screen
making bad sequels

Where's originality
I want passion and art
I want intelligence fuelled by
Love and not darkness

I want to feel ok
I want to talk to you
I want to feel as if I'm involved
And not trapped in a zoo
going
going
going
gone
I've never had a room
Ok that's a lie
I'm a middle class
Working, privileged kinda guy
But I haven't had a room
And being here two months
Is something so serene
I can't word or touch
I've never had a room, see
It's mostly been sharing.
My sister's a near age,
Shove them in, but I can't bear it
She snores so loudly
She'd wake me up.
Her life is so messy
I'd have to clean up.
A few years like this
Was fine to be fair
Until it got too messy
found my comb, your hair
I know what's mine is yours
But our things intertwine
What stuff makes you you?
What stuff do I call mine?
It's materialism at best
I'm nothing either way
By owning a piano
I'll still own a grave
A few more years, finally
I have a space
Just kidding haha
It seems like its fate.
I slept in the lounge
Where we'd watch episodes
Manic, depressive
Gather round for the shows!
I'd search for peace
And I'd practice my patience
But I need to save some
For my real patients
Am I not my own patient?
How can I treat myself well?
If everything around me
Is crumbling.
Well?
Surprising isn't it?
all I wanted was a room.
And I didn't even know it,
I'd run towards all the gloom.
I thought I needed people.
I thought I needed love.
And I do, but that's nothing
Until it comes from above.
But the point is space;
I never really had it.
And right now I am thankful
and hope I make it a habit
I always used to think that to make friends
I should hide things
I shouldn't say some things
And I should avoid talking about
The things that keep me up at night
Because nobody else seemed to talk about it
But then the thing that kept me up at night
Was having no friends
And I thought
Maybe I was wrong
Maybe I should change what I'm doing
If I want to belong
Maybe I should make something myself
even if at first it feels wrong
And when I opened up
I knew I was lost
And I found pieces of myself
Walking home
And it was strange because
I never knew
There were so many paths to get back home
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