but i know its probably me
but i know i wont take responsibility
but i know i'll find a way to make you apologize
but i know we've been here a million times
but i know that my love for you is like fire
but i know that it burns you
but i know that you think the way i shine is beautiful
but i know that i hurt your eyes
but i know that each time you close them and trust me its unbearable

and so we are left with one option.

while i shine, crackle, pop, burn
you must sway.

you water and i fire.

separate
we?
beautiful.

together
we!
evaporate us both.

The rhythm of your breaths as you fall asleep comfort me from all the pain you’ve caused me.
The trickle in and oozing our of your oxygen fills me life as I recall the sensation of those breaths on my neck as we are tangled up.
The smell of my love for you grows stronger as the fire of the candle I have for you burns it’s wax, singes it’s wick, escapes it’s glass and sets a house a blaze.
The taste of the salt from the tears that roll down my face as I yearn to feel your arms wrapped about me again.
I just can’t see you.
And you can’t see me.
You can’t see the look on my face when you tell me that you’ll always care as if that can ever take the place of the thousands of I love you’s that you’ve sprinkled me with.
You can’t see the sadness in my eyes when you tell me about her. Your new her.
You can’t see how dear I still hold you to every cell of my being and each second without you causes one of them to implode in search for it’s other.

We’re just friends now.
And that’s “ok”.

And just like that you were gone.
No photos of the way your touch electrocuted me.
No video of the charge between your lips and my neck.
No archive of the fullness of you inside me.
No remnants of these moments beside the fragments of burnt film strips in my head.

And the vague words we share.

I don’t know you but I want you. Again.

What does it even mean?
We all just bump and bob around
Running into each other
Dodging each other
Just missing each other
Crossing paths?
Knocking each other off paths
And onto new ones
Or into walls
Or off cliffs.

And just like that my bed feels lonely again.
A lover.
A heartbreak.
Tears.
A lover.
Tears.
A heartbreak.
A lover.
No heartbreak.
Just tears.
Just distance.
Again.
Distance.

Again.

When it comes to people
There comes my passion
There comes my dedication.
When it comes to people
There comes my pain
There comes my detriment.
When it comes to people.

Why do I continue to love.

8am
We wake up
I’m encased between your pillowy arms
Your curly hair caresses my cheek
Your breath tickles my neck
Your nose, so cold, slightly shocking me every other breath.
I don’t know you
Yet so much comfort came with you
So much...
Dare I say that four letter word.
Just. So much.

When can I see you again?