A* *rtistry
M agnificent
B elievable
E lucidive
R *elatable

She hid things,
and left you in the dark.

He forgot things,
and caused her to anger.

They fell apart,
and he went with another.
She stayed behind,
in her wonder.

They fell apart,
leaving me here struggling
between which side to choose.

I am like the sun which gives warmth:
they revolve around me
as I give them advice,
but I try my best
not to get drawn in.

It's hard for them,
but harder for me,
as I'm tossed around
like a ping-pong unfree.

I don't want to be in the middle,
I just want to be free.
It's not my fault,
so why me?

Can I just leave?
I want to be done with you.
Can I just go,
and leave you be?
Can I just leave?
I don't want to be around you.
Let me go.
Or would you rather torture me some more?

I see the scars
on your wrist.
I see the tears
rolling down your cheeks.
I scream at you to put the knife down,
but can you hear me?
Can you hear me at all?

I see the pain
that you're bearing.
I see the abuse
put onto you.
I scream at you to put the bleach away,
but can you hear me?
Can you only hear silence
through the slicing detriment
of your own affliction?

The wall,
cold on my back,
but a trap all the same.
These chains are holding me,
from staying sane.
I need to get out.
I need to get free.
If only you
could understand me.

D* *estructing
A gonizing
R uthless
K *illing

I might be dying.
I don't know yet.
The doctors are still deciding
if I will meet Death.

I can feel
all the weird thumps.
I just don't know...
I'm in a slump.

The doctors have done the tests,
but no one knows yet.
Am I the subject of a pest,
or a huge destructive mess?

Freedom, so sweet.
If only I could grasp you,
if only you were near.

My demons attack me,
spilling crimson blood.
I'm losing the battle,
fear consuming me.

I don't want to hurt anyone,
I really don't.
Everyone else,
deserves better than me.

Can you please go away?
Leave this war to me.
May I just go?
Or must I plead?

Over and over,
memories again.
Over and over,
on rerun.

My head turns away,
my demons to fearful to look at.
I ignore them,
just as they destroy me.

I reconstruct,
build my life again,
only to have to taken,
only to have it destroyed.

I hate this life,
but I'll wait for the next.
I'm not going to die,
no, not yet.

You're here, trembling with fear
You made it clear
You turned your back and now you've gone astray
Nothing left to say
What's standing in your way?
You had the chance to never walk alone

But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms I need you here!

Again, lying in your bed
Nightmares is in your head
Facing all that you just threw away
At the edge again
It's coming to an end
You had the chance to never walk alone

But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I cant do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms I need you
I need you, here! Here!
I need you, here! Here!

You gave it all away
I needed you to stay
Open up your arms I need you here!

I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms, I need you here
But you gave it all away
When I needed you to stay
Just open up your arms I need you here
I can't do this on my own
I got nothing left to show
Open up your arms, I need you here!

I'm alive,
with new books
and many songs I love.

I have a cell phone,
and a roof over my head.

I have warm house,
and I have a bed.

I have a computer,
and a small tablet.

I have good grades,
and teachers who care about me.

I should be happy,
but I hate being happy.

Happiness only makes me worse
after I see all the negativity
within this frail world.

Happiness makes me feel cruel,
like I shouldn't have it.

Happiness makes me feel greedy,
when others can't have it at all.

Hospital every year,
then every two.
This fragile heart needs mending,
for it's more than *******.

Two surgeries,
three months
and seven years.
There were so many tears.

My heart is so fragile,
it needs great care.
I will be fine,
as long as it's there.

Aspirin for six months
and probably more when I'm fixed again.
Medicine and hospitals are part of me,
as am I part of them.

I was born this way,
though I wish it weren't true.
It was merely a mistake,
or was I the accident?

"I don't mind hospitals."
It's a partial lie.
They seem normal to me,
but a screaming child
keeps me awake
when I try to sleep
the beeps away.

Let's take a moment
to appreciate
that we have technology
that keeps my heart awake.

I'm not alone-
I already know.
My mother was there too.
Maybe that's why I'm so askew.

The nurses are nice,
the surgeons are kind.
I just wish the matresses
were a bit softer... (:

The first time we met,
you greeted me with a small smile.
You said, "Hello."
I just wish it didn't come with "Hell."

If you took the time to notice me
I'd have somewhere to be,
and someone to live for.

I'm too shy
to say my thoughts.
I'm too shy
to speak up.

I'm too isolated
to make many friends.
I'm too isolated
to defend.

When you find me some paper,
or a gentle screen,
I'll speak up,
and I will say what I please.

I will rant,
I will rage.
I will create a war,
though it doesn't seem me.

The thoughts in my head,
kept quiet until now.
I have found some paper
to make my crown.

Don't put me in public,
don't put me on stage.
I will only blush
and stammer away.

I am an introvert,
so quiet, you see.
But I am the loudest
of the three.

It was a waste of time,
so I stopped doing it.
Now I can't do it at all,
no matter how much
I feel like I should.
I stopped,
and now I can't.
Plain and simple
as pain itself.

In this jar,
take a look please.
It's full of the tears
you caused me.

In this jar,
the crimson looks black.
It's full of the blood
you shed from my back.

In this jar,
the creature is alive.
It contains a demon,
and that demon shall thrive as long as you're here.

**** me,
just do it now.
I'm done with this life,
with all its stress and anxiety.
My parents say
that I'm a demon hotel.
I say
that I'm just living how I want.

**** me,
just throw my life away for me.
I'm done with all the tests.
I'm done with all the misfortune.
There's no one
that will ever love me.
At least,
it feels that way.

I'm so confused.
Some people aren't ignoring me,
but yet they are.
I feel so lonely...

These hollow hands,
this hollow body...
It needs something,
someone to fill it back up.
Yet no one seems to hear the echo
from inside.

Sometimes I just feel
like everyone else is
ordering me around,
and not respecting my space at all.
Whenever I tell them to go,
they just seem to show.
I didn't invite you
into my bubble,
so why do you have to burst it
into rubble?

Grabbing my sleeve,
as I try to leave.
Tears running down your cheeks,
tears running down mine.
I don't want to go,
but it's against my will.
I'm chained to a wall,
as the blood falls.
Drip, drip, drip
down to the floor,
and killing my whole.
I will wait for you,
as long as you wait for me.

L* *oving
I nexplicable
G iving
H ealing
T *rustworthy