being locked inside isn’t doing me favors
my mind keeps spinning
memories creep up at me
i fall into a rabbit hole of nostalgia
i fall into something i wish i had more of
i took the abundance for granted
i don’t want to look at myself
i can’t deal with the guilt
all i have are my tears

restore my faith
this quarantine ****
got people acting the same
funny how you think
people will change
people are puppets on a string
can’t decide whether to leave or stay home
my mind goes back to a year ago
when my heart broke down
when puppets left to another master
when the truth was setting me free
now i’m here
stranded in the sea
waiting for someone to see me
i only see myself
the nostalgic grief
pass me by every day and night
i want my memories erased
so i don’t have sit in this place
and think of the time wasted
time wasted
time wasted
time wasted
true, it wasn’t time wasted
i learned how people can turn on you
without regret
i learned how people can envy the life
you’ve built for yourself
without guilt
i learned what it is to be alone
having the mirror as your friend
i learned what it is to hate yourself
until you have no energy to hate
lessons were learned
yet, i’m going back
to the grief that drowned me
time is being wasted
i could be spending my time
living my life
no deep hole inside my chest
no escape from my head

all these fake *******
want to hit up my line
always crying on me
that they never get **** right

they talkin about how they
alone in this doggy dog world
yet can’t even ask a simple hello

all these fake *******
want to use you for your money
never think twice about the bills you have to pay

this is a call out to all the fake hoes
in my life that hit up my line
when they were bored of their ****
using me as a convenience

this is a call out to the *****
that cried crocodile tears
lied to me for months
and never showed their face
days after

all these fake *******
want to hit up my line
always crying on me
that they never get **** right

boo hoo motherfuker
get the ******* my line
take your *** back
to hell where you belong
get the ******* my life
take your baggage and clownery
somewhere else

i’ll send my last wishes
when you’re in hell

the golden angels
sing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain they’ve endured

in a planet called pluto
angels fall
and angels hit the deep abyss
for them to realize

they are within me
i’m the angels singing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain i’ve endured

you shot me down
with your negligence
unspoken words
hang in the air
and disappear with your cowardice

how could you shoot me down
when all i wanted was the best
for your heart
i don’t deserve your silence, babe
i did everything i could
to please you, babe

i know being a people pleaser
destroys your soul
but babe i was willing
to destroy mines for yours

you did me wrong
because you’re used to
people doing you wrong
you can’t accept the good things
that come with love
so you would rather run and hide
until the demons disappear
from your bedside

don’t come running back
for my company
i know you won’t come back
but if you ever do
i won’t accept your apology

The vision is clear
Glowing like the sun above our heads
We have been escaping for a lifetime
Just to be
Dragged to where we started

Who are we kidding?
We are kids trying to grasp onto
The beam at the other end of the wire
Naïve spirits clouding our reality
We both understand the dangers of dreaming

Waking up to the croak of ravens
It’s time for us to craft a tunnel
Distant from our realm of possibility

Let’s escape to the sound
Of the roaring drums
Calling out our names

We will mount high
Higher than what we would call home
Climbing and passing by
The sea of children twirling to the hymn
The hymn of memories lost.

Flowers bloom and so do we
Sunflowers shine in their meadow bed and so do we

In this paradise
We are the rulers of our kingdom
With time we manifest our destiny
We control the man-made clock
That has so desperately tried to dictate our paths.

In this paradise
Houses clutter in rows
Damp shirts and pants sway lazily
On the wire connecting every neighbor
The language of love
Slips through the citizens’ tongues

The vision is clear
Fiestas are religiously thrown
Every weekend
Bottles of Sangria wine
Line the limestone streets
Families holler in laughter
In the joy of what it is to be alive
Nothing is sweeter than having a pulse
Feeling the sweat trickle down your spine
The children talking amongst each other.
Flamenco performers stomp
As people move from house to house
Never leaving a trace of unhappiness behind
Never leaving the group behind.

Fiestas keeps the city alive
The city of new dreams
The city where the man-made clock
Doesn’t hold anyone down
The city of fresh beginnings
And a destiny that can be controlled.

In this paradise
Waves silently crash against
The algae covered boulders
Seagulls sing their freedom cry

Give us hope
Bring us tangible rationality
In an era of irrationality
We need a savior
From fallen grace

Seashells adorn the delicate sand
That sticks to the soles of our feet
The warmth of the sun
Kiss our golden skin

Salty tears drip down our faces,
Is it the emptiness we feel?
When we are alone?
Or the realization
That we cease to exist.

The vision is clear
Our past lives
Become our past selves
And our past selves
Get lost in what we wished to be.

When will we learn?
That our vision isn’t clear
Twenty-twenty vision isn’t enough.

Swaying in the rain
Sunflowers bloom in the thick summer morning
A garden of hope
Each petal crease symbolizing what I used to be –
In my past life
Insecurity and nameless rage simmering,
Yearning for escape through my tongue
For the whole universe to tremble

Each petal crease symbolizing what I want to be –
Crinkled from the past
Yet radiating from the lessons learned
And eager for novel beginnings

A garden of hope
For my mind to lose its rationality
For my heart to get drunk in the unconventional

Shower me in the garden of hope
For I slumbered through its delicacy
And I want to have its ecstasy
At the tip of my tongue

Life is too precious
For us to keep chasing after ghosts
Ghosts that haze our vision
And stops us from realizing the beauty of breathing
The beauty of seeing and believing
The beauty of loving and smiling

Life is too precious
For us to keep chasing our own past in circles
Never ending pain
Never ending cries

Life is too precious
For us to keep letting anger prevail
Prevail before our happiness,
Our stillness

Life is too precious
For us to not be what we want to be
Let’s rejoice to the hum of our optimism
Let’s rejoice to the shriek of our rapture

in my bones
i’ve grown up to the way
you creep at the back of my mind
beckoning me into your
sinister light

after all these years
i never seem to get over you
you’re in my bones
i can never get rid of you

i don’t know if you ever think of me
it’s such a shame you will never know
what you meant to me
it’s such a shame we never worked it out

you never listened to the people
that held you near
you never listened to the people
that wanted the best for you.

i wanted the best for you
but your ego struck hard
your stubbornness made you insufferable

you are in my bones
i try to burn you out
but you are wedged within my skin

i will never understand
why you ran away from me
i will never understand
why my love was never enough for you
i will never understand
why you chased me down all these years

you are in my bones
i will never wash you out
nothing i can do
will make you fall out

i wish you could understand
how well we could have been
if you would just listen
listen to what people have to say

you are in my bones
i will never wash you out
nothing i can do
will make you fall out

you are in my bones
you are in my bones
you are in my bones

in my bones
in my bones

get out of my bones

You use and abuse
Blinded by your self-absorbed ego
Pretending to be a gentle soul
Just so you can spit the other out again

You don't love anyone except yourself
Lonely night and day
Thinking of ways
To get what you want

Because you've never learned how to love
All you've been taught was to abuse and use

Use and abuse
Abuse and use

Until you can't feel your pain anymore
Until you make the people that care about you numb  

You only care about yourself
When life presents you something magical
You chew it and spit it out again
You're custom to abuse
Never knowing what love is
Never knowing what lies beneath the surface
Of selflessness and kindness

Ecstasy is all around me  
Engulfing my lungs with pure bliss
Crawling its way up my throat
Spreading like a disease, until  
It reaches into my vocal chords

It begins to rest in all of insecurities I have left behind
It makes a nest - a home
Within the pleasures of being free.

Freedom escapes my tongue
And it hangs in the air like a woven thread
Until it circulates the silent room.  
The room of memories and new beginnings  
The room of my new beginning

Where I can lose myself in my thoughts
Lose myself in my dreams
Lose myself in my desires
And let my liberation run wild.

Your heart is too big for your chest
And your hands tremble and shake
And I know you carry my heart on your palm,  

I know it's too much to ask
Too much to take in
Too much to take in your pretty little world
But I ask you this once

Create a hearth in your heart for me
Create a nest in your mind for me
Protect me and shield me from danger
From the outside world
From myself  

                                                       ­                                        - Shelter me

Closed eyes

White lies



Cherry lips

Exotic hips



Luxurious touch

Blissful rush



Tangled sheets

Exhilarating heart beats

Born in the eclipse
Of summer and autumn
Her heart glowed like fireflies
In the night sky
Her laughter drowned her sorrows
Laying in the meadow
Of rosemary.

She stared deeply into the stars above
Memories of her past lover
Imprinted her brain
The way he held her in his arms
Empty, yet close
The way he gave her an idle smile.

She knew he was hollow
The way he smoked his cigarettes with ease
Ready to break her heart
She knew he would leave her
The way he told her he felt nothing
When they kissed in his bedroom
She knew he was afraid
Afraid of what they might be again.

Wasted love
That's what we were
Time always tells
Where we stand
I'm crippling inside
With all the things I’ve left behind

Growing up is never easy
Letting you go was never easy
It brought me to tears
Every night I thought of you

Sitting by my bedside
My heart sinking
Within my chest
Wasted love
That's what we were

Time always tells
Where we stand
I’m crippling inside  
With my mind on the clouds
Because I can't seem  
To get you out of my life

All the damage you have done
All the lies you have told
I can't seem to forget
All the times we have spent together.
Wasted love

That's what we are  
Time always tells
Where we stand
I’m crippling inside  
With all the things I left behind

It's time for me to say goodbye
It's time for me to say goodbye
It's time
It's time
To say goodbye,
Wasted love

Write until the chapter ends
Kick it into overdrive

Let your complex thoughts spill onto the blank paper before you
Let your ideas float and wonder
Let your imagination run wild

Spill the ink

Make a canvas with the black ink
Make a sculpture with your words
Make something that's captivating and bold

That screams pain
Screams power and passion

Let it out
Let it roar

Let your hand ache
Let your heart ache

Spill until you run short
Spill until your brain says enough is enough

Create art
Create originality
Create memories

my hands shake in your touch
your perfume lingers in my mind
i'm in a constant loop
of wanting to kiss you
and wanting you to explore my body  

oh girls, they make your knees tremble
kissing you softly around your chest
tenderly picking at your skin
begging for more

oh girls, they leave you breathless in the summer night
their hips swaying on the dance floor
hypnotic, leaving you speechless

i'm in a constant loop
of wanting to kiss you
and wanting to explore your body
hypnotic, you leave me speechless

i want it
i want it

temptation is my weakness
the devil is my witness

lipstick stains
in the driveway is where i lay
every thought about you
everything comes flowing back
to me
your laugh of winters day
is the sound that replays
in my mind all day

the memories of you and i
sitting in the coffee shop downtown
everything comes flowing back
to me

as you left my apartment door
i stood behind you
watching you as you walked away from me
the memories of you and i
stuck on repeat
leaving scars within my heart

sitting in the coffee shop downtown
i never meant for this to happen
i never meant for you to leave me behind
i never meant to **** things up

lipstick stains is what you left
as you said goodbye

I’ve got a girl across the sea waiting for me
and you are reminiscing on what we used to be
I think about our history
and it doesn't mean **** to me,
anymore.

I've got a girl across the sea waiting for me
with her tight dress and her heart on her sleeve
let's see where it leads
but i keep thinking about our history
the way you used to spread your legs for someone new
just to get ******* up by what you thought would last.

I've got a girl across the sea waiting for me
and she's a beauty to see
but I don't think I can love her in the way she believes
I'm too reckless for love
but at least I got over you.

I've got a girl across the sea waiting for me
more thrilling than you.