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thedrugsdontwork Nov 2018
i always try my best to make others happy, but what about me? what about my happiness?

its always "there's nothing wrong with her" when I'm sad and can't explain why

my mouth won't let me say how my thoughts keep me up all night, or how I sometimes get so overwhelmed that I don't want to do anything anymore, or how sometimes I just want to be alone

i always check up on people, but what about me? what about my feelings?
thedrugsdontwork Nov 2018
someone help me
my thoughts are too much
they make me overthink and get no sleep
i can't continue like this
i need to be saved

I'm trapped inside my head
too scared to say the first thing that comes to mind
i plaster on a fake smile
and say "i'm fine" when someone asks what's wrong
how do i say i'm trapped in my mind?
how do i say i want to escape from my own body?

all these thoughts continue to build up
when will i finally give up?
when will i finally let go?
they keep me up at night
make me toss and turn

someone help me
don't leave me here alone
in this home
with my mind
that  makes me want to curl up and die

please help me
thedrugsdontwork Oct 2018
oh boy, you make my heart wonder

no, stop, i can't like my best friend

your eyes are so enchanting

no, what am I doing?

the way you walk, the way you talk...

oh boy what have I gotten myself into?

I have to make sure you'll never figure out
that'll for sure ruin our friendship,
our 119 day streak on Snapchat(ha) ,
and your name will disappear from my number one bestfriend spot...

we won't do photo shoots anymore,
or take long cars rides to the middle of nowhere

we won't lay in your backyard under the stars
asking stupid  questions about life

we won't cry together over heartbreaks

we won't laugh at absolutely nothing at 2:00 in the morning

i can't tell you how I feel

you'll always see me as just a friend...

oh boy
thedrugsdontwork Jun 2018
will we always be like this?

suffocated by our phones and how many likes we get on a Instagram post? how many views on a Snapchat story?

will we always be so amazed with our devices that we forget about the world we live in? forget about the generations after us?
they aren't easy
and sometimes don't mean that
something is going away

sometimes it just means
something is just slightly
out of your reach

and it really *****
to see it there
just a hair's breadth away
and find yourself unable
to reach out and grab it

to reach out and grab her
to pull her into my arms
and tell her what i feel


i can no longer do that
i can no longer open your heart
i can no longer lay your soul bare

it hurts her too much
when my own blood won't accept her
no matter what i do

and it hurts
so much
to see her in pain
it hurts more than anything else
so maybe things are better?

maybe things are better for her?
i can't tell what's better for me
whatever i think is best seems to turn out wrong

so whatever happens
if she's okay
i'll be okay with it
and i'll always be here
Twist me into pretty little knots
Like the ones
your fingers
Left in
my hair
Like the ones
Your words
Left in
  My stomach
What can I offer to make you stay?
Nothing you say -
It seems that nothing
Is everything that I am these days
But I'm afraid
You can't even have that

So I'll let you
Inside of me instead
And I'll moan
Right into - your ear
Do you love me now?

I will cut open
my own veins
And give you a taste
Of what's really - inside
Do you love me now?

I will kiss you
Until my lips chafe
And my teeth shatter
Till you - don't want me
Do you love me now?

I scream your name when I sleep
How about now?

I drink your memory like whiskey
How about now?

I think of you alone in the shower
How about now?

I broke myself to please you
How about now?

I will bleed myself dry every day for the rest of this life and the next one if that means that you will love me
How about now?

Do you love me now?
How about now?
  May 2018 thedrugsdontwork
This is me
All naked in front of you

My scars are the battles
I lost many
But I won a few

What do you see?
When you look through me
Or to you, is it all blue?

I have craved your presence,
Like the sky needs the moon,
But do you have the slighest clue?

I've waited so you would say,
"I got you", for you could stay –
But none of it could ever be true
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