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 Aug 2019 Steve
 Aug 2019 Steve
with bruised knuckles
and a broken heart
I watched slowly
as my world fell apart

my happiness left
my sadness returned
its been a while
but I greeted it like an old friend

you left long ago
left me thinking I’m alone
i know I have people
but you were who I wanted.
 Jun 2018 Steve
i ran and i ran and i ran
three countries away
three continents over
i ran so that i didn't have to wake up
and take a shower in the same shower
get dressed in the same clothes
smell that same **** perfume
all laced with memories of you
i ran so far that i managed to forget who i was
managed to forget that it wasn't just my addiction to pain that kept us together
it was all those memories and laughs
and suddenly the taste of your lips
doesn't seem too distant when i still see your deodorant on my shelf
when i see our ticket stubs on my wall
when i have the wrapper from the chewing gum i chewed before kissing you stuck to my cork board like a ticking time bomb
i ran so far that i forgot what it felt like to love you and suddenly i'm back in my own skin begging you to love me again
but you're full of anger
and you're full of hate
i'm full of fear
and i'm scared of fate
my purse is still the same one you held for me
my neck is still the same one you kissed
my wrist smells of the perfume i put on before our first date
there are seventeen boxes of hershey's drops on my bookshelf
each one shared or gifted by you
the flowers from my garden
you picked
are crumbled
but fresh, scattered on my bed
i ran three countries away
i ran three continents over
to escape from a love
that i don't even want to get over
maybe it's best to never return home at all
 Jun 2018 Steve
Mike Essig
The wind is curiously silent tonight.
Nothing disturbs the deep darkness,
but the wafting scent of madness.

In the desert, captive children
toss and turn, whimper and sleep,
the government their souls to keep.

They will wake to razor wire,
and the company of strangers,
caught in concentration camps
of unknown bureaucrats and guards
blamelessly following the orders
of distant, calculating masters
who play political chess
with the lives of the innocent.

The country that separates
mothers from their babies
will rise and ask no questions,
going about its business,
buying, selling, grasping at more,
untouched by this insanity,
kissing its own kids good morning,
unwilling or unable to feel or see
the malignant cancer eating its way
through the complacent, rotting soul
of what, once upon a time, used to be

the home of the brave,
the land of the free.
 Jun 2018 Steve
i thought i was starving for home
the smell of the soul and the taste of the air
i thought my hunger was for all that sunshine
the familiar roads, the wind in my hair
but i sit on this ground that i have lived on before
waiting on home to accept me once again
loneliness and betrayal, this land is empty
hollowness and silence, there is no love here
i sit here in my nothingness and count the black sky
this isn't home
this can't be home

(i miss you).
 Jun 2018 Steve
Christian Hicks
Tonight I can feel the winter in my bones
A calling yet for something I don't know
Her soothing voice resides in my wounds
A hollow resonance in the stillness
Against an angry sky, she weeps
For all that has been lost,
All that hides away in the depths of the dark
Until the bitterness of the morning light
Can show once again that I am still alive
 Jun 2018 Steve
Nat Lipstadt
this kids,
is how you do it

in the mid of the dark hours,
when two am is your new oldest friend
when sleep, your oldest old one,
left town on the midnight train,
taking your peace of mind

though she is far away
lost in dream-thoughts caught,
but only twelve inches close,
granting you an unasked permission,
you ok to stroke her hair,
undisturbing her, yet comforting yourself,
every voice in your temple'd altar praying,
one glorious chorus godly chant:

Oh Lord, what would I do without her?

and you stroke her hair and are saved.


May 2014
 Jun 2018 Steve
I stand alone.
A ******* the side of a ***** road.
A pretty face.
An ugly smile.
People pick up the pace
When they walk by.
They don’t like seeing
The knife in my back.
It unsettles them.
As it should.
Children stare, their parents whisper,
“This is what happens when you let love ****.”
Then they walk past.
Pools of blood lay on the ground at my feet.
The wound is a waterfall,
A continuous spray,
Of regret.
Of better judgement.
Of self worth.
Flowing down my back in riotous shades of red.
Flowing out of my body and burning in the sun.
You didn’t break my heart.
You fixed it.
With your beautiful hands
And warm lips.
And you’ll come back for me.
Because it is yours.
And I’ll wait for you.
Until I’m a husk.
And then my smile won’t be ugly.
Because you will come back.
You will ease my pain with your touch.
You will heal the wound.
You will take back your knife.
And I will be yours.
Until you plunge it into my back again.
And even then, I won’t try to save myself.
 Jun 2018 Steve
i wonder if my name dances round and round in your head like a mantra
i wonder if it pops up in the middle of conversations, if you hear the syllables like a call to prayer
i wonder if it makes you wish you were dead
no; i wonder if it makes you wish i were dead
i wonder if you wake up in the morning and for a quick second you can't remember why you hurt
then loud and clear it shrills, ringing in your head, a reminder of your destruction
i wonder if they ask you why you look so burnt
i wonder if my name whispers itself into your ear but you stay silent
i wonder if it laughs when they tell you that love is the answer
i wonder if it cries when they tell you that love is the devil
do you stand straight like a soldier being called on to the battlefield
when you hear something that rhymes with it
or do you crawl into a hole within yourself and let the moment pass?
does it lull you to sleep late at night when the demons play
does it scream in your head when you're somewhere between life and death?
do you remember my name, my love? do you remember it soft, loud, and alive? do you remember my name, my love, do you remember it well? do you remember my name, my love, because it remembers you. do you remember my name, my love, because it has not forgotten you.
the end of an era, the start of the summer
 Jun 2018 Steve
 Jun 2018 Steve
a bewildered face, a blurry
cloud in the sky, i’m
turning in circles and every second i see something else collapse.
like the lungs
behind our ribs, we can’t breathe
when the air is so thick.
our bodies shrinking, lungs
suffocating, i don’t think you have room for
me,, anymore.
it was too overwhelming i think
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