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This town smells of my cigarettes,
but I don't remember the last time when I was smoking.
The winter here is endless like a train
and my affliction go after it.

Please, say me I will not stay here forever,
It'll destroy me.
I forgot that words about that everything will be better, and all that stupid things you're saying to me while I'm crying.
I'm just going down, down and down, falling down like a dead bird
(have I ever wings to fly?)

Why any of stars in the sky isn't shining to me?
This town exists under the dome, I can't make out anything.

I'm just going down, down and down, falling down like a dead bird
have I ever wings to fly,
or everything is just a dream?
 Jul 2018 Boygene Borice
I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.
 Jun 2018 Boygene Borice
Sometimes you have no reason to stay,
and realize that's a perfect argument to go.
And that taking an entirely new way,
is the sore but single method to grow.

If you're washed-on abeyance's bight,
and you feel decision's heavy heft:
To choose the left where nothing's right,
or go to the right where nothing's left.

Remember it matters not where you proceed,
or which mountain you want to ascend.
It does not matter whether you succeed,
it is the journey that matters in the end.
love is.
giving someone.
the knife.
to stab you.
with your own words.
at 3:00 am.
and trusting them.
not to drive.
the knife.
through your back.
or to sharpen.
your words.
into new ones.
to use.
against you.
 May 2018 Boygene Borice
Do you ever feel like leaving?
No letter. No excuse.
Just an empty room,
and a note that says,
“I’m in paradise now,
it’s about time.”

I feel like I am homesick
for the places I have never seen.
Like the graffiti in the sky
And the clouds on the walls.
The smiles on faces.
Instead of seeing…
People who force themselves
to dream of places
with endless fields
of grasses and flowers
while the sound gunshots
ring through their ears.

A place far from vile men
who want the world for themselves.
A place where you can just run.
Run without the fear of
losing your breath
or getting tired.
Running until you fall asleep,
and then running some more.

A place where you can eat dinner.
Not a place where
you force the ashes
of your dead family
down your throat.
Swallowing cries
and whimpers…
Eating your own flaws.

A place where you don’t
have to feel obligated
to use your last breath
to apologize for
bleeding on someone’s shirt
as they look you in your eyes
and slit your throat
that once laughed through the day.
All I hear now is echoes.

A place where you aren’t in a room,
with your phone clutched in one hand,
the other slapped across your mouth.
Hoping your cries won’t
be the last
gut wrenching sound
that departs from
place that
was more than
the echoes.

21 century.
The age of
broken homes,
suicidal kids,
and bullets in skulls.

We always want change,
But we can’t move past the things that
have haunted our ancestors.
We begin to dream,
dream of all things
to the point where
we don’t notice these haunted things
happening again.
Hypnotized by golden fire,
not noticing it burn with us.

We drink the poison
Poured by our own mistakes
And we cry about feeling so sick.

We are in the tough place between
moving on and letting go.
Bound by broken things
begging to be set free.

I just want to live somewhere
Lined houses,
with fences,
and chimneys
wide enough for Santa

But we can’t have that yet.
We’re not ready to move on.
Its gets bad before it gets better,
But it blows up before
it has the chance to grow.

And I just wish I could leave
see graffiti in the sky,
and clouds on the walls.

I want to hear the sounds
in a silent movie.
Never mind.
I want to listen
to the silence.
So here you are again
at the footsteps of the walls
I’ve rebuilt over
and over again
asking me to let you in.

I know
this is not the first time
that you’ve returned from your
wars with the world.
You are wounded and weary
Your eyes look so dead
I can see the graveyard behind them

You've lost so much, my love.
including yourself.

and you know,
if you would just let me
I would tuck all those bombs away,
Throw them to the skies
and let them light up our lives
instead of them
burning and bruising our bodies

but you won't give up arms

yes, you're reaching out
but you won't let me hold your hand

So we both know
this wouldn’t end well
my bones are still shaking
from all the trauma you’ve caused

my love, please understand
my heart is not a church.
You cannot just return when you feel like it
and pray for me to forgive your sins.
I am not a god.
I am only human.
And there is a limit to how much hurt I can take.

Do you think your “sorry’s” are enough
to sew these spaces you’ve sown in my soul?
Don't you know how hard it is to keep living
when all you've been doing
is leaving me behind?

I still love you.
I think I always will.
But please don’t think
I can keep on breaking myself
just to keep you whole.
I want to find someone
Who laughs with their whole body
While their body shakes
Their smile never breaks
And that's the someone I'd want to love me.

I want to meet someone
Who laughs from their whole soul
While they shed happy tears
I'll abandon my fears
Because that's the someone I'd want to love me.

I want to find you
You, who laughs with your whole heart
And while you laugh and smile
I might just stare for awhile
Because you are the person that was made for me.
Laughter is a beautiful thing.
 May 2018 Boygene Borice
the proud moments of greatness
seem much louder than
the strenuous, arduous

                                  But it is then
                      when our bodies collapse
                    and the crowd no longer claps
                     that the brevity of stars is felt
                 and the call of the siren is heard
              rising from the depths of our humanity
( it is only then we learn
that no being deserves disregard
nor should be made a deity
for failing is part of the duality  
that comes with the mortal experience)
Every heart
Wants to
         Be loved
I’ve come to learn
    The key to receive
              That love
           You crave
       Is to First
             Give it
      Without prejudice
We want to
        be excepted
      In our imperfection
            Refuse to
         Love anyone
          We do not deem
to love
              And watch
                     Your heart
               Reap a bountiful
                Rich love
             Will worth  it
  Cheers to love !
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