This town smells of my cigarettes,
but I don't remember the last time when I was smoking.
The winter here is endless like a train
and my affliction go after it.

Please, say me I will not stay here forever,
It'll destroy me.
I forgot that words about that everything will be better, and all that stupid things you're saying to me while I'm crying.
I'm just going down, down and down, falling down like a dead bird
(have I ever wings to fly?)

Why any of stars in the sky isn't shining to me?
This town exists under the dome, I can't make out anything.

I'm just going down, down and down, falling down like a dead bird
have I ever wings to fly,
or everything is just a dream?

I used to write
My secrets in the sand,
Knowing they would never stay
Long enough to be told.

I used to just swim,
pulled my hair up and never
Really tasted the salt that foamed
After the crash.

I've ran in the sand,
Sure, but never have I
Ever let it smooth my
Skin into what it could be.

Before today, I've never
Let the current take me
Under and feel what it's like
To always come back to something.

Sometimes you have no reason to stay,
and realize that's a perfect argument to go.
And that taking an entirely new way,
is the sore but single method to grow.

If you're washed-on abeyance's bight,
and you feel decision's heavy heft:
To choose the left where nothing's right,
or go to the right where nothing's left.

Remember it matters not where you proceed,
or which mountain you want to ascend.
It does not matter whether you succeed,
it is the journey that matters in the end.

love is.
giving someone.
the knife.
to stab you.
with your own words.
whispered.
at 3:00 am.
and trusting them.
not to drive.
the knife.
through your back.
or to sharpen.
your words.
into new ones.
to use.
against you.

So here you are again
at the footsteps of the walls
I’ve rebuilt over
and over again
asking me to let you in.

I know
this is not the first time
that you’ve returned from your
wars with the world.
You are wounded and weary
Your eyes look so dead
I can see the graveyard behind them

You've lost so much, my love.
including yourself.

and you know,
if you would just let me
I would tuck all those bombs away,
Throw them to the skies
and let them light up our lives
instead of them
burning and bruising our bodies

but you won't give up arms

yes, you're reaching out
but you won't let me hold your hand

So we both know
this wouldn’t end well
my bones are still shaking
from all the trauma you’ve caused

my love, please understand
my heart is not a church.
You cannot just return when you feel like it
and pray for me to forgive your sins.
I am not a god.
I am only human.
And there is a limit to how much hurt I can take.

Do you think your “sorry’s” are enough
to sew these spaces you’ve sown in my soul?
Don't you know how hard it is to keep living
when all you've been doing
is leaving me behind?

I still love you.
I think I always will.
But please don’t think
I can keep on breaking myself
just to keep you whole.

the proud moments of greatness
seem much louder than
the strenuous, arduous
f
  a
     l
        l

                                  But it is then
                      when our bodies collapse
                    and the crowd no longer claps
                     that the brevity of stars is felt
                 and the call of the siren is heard
              rising from the depths of our humanity
  
( it is only then we learn
that no being deserves disregard
nor should be made a deity
for failing is part of the duality  
that comes with the mortal experience)

Every heart
Wants to
         Be loved
      Unconditionally
         However
I’ve come to learn
    The key to receive
              That love
           You crave
                    For
       Is to First
             Give it
      Without prejudice
          
We want to
        be excepted
      In our imperfection
                     Yet
            Refuse to
         Love anyone
                    Or
              Anything
          We do not deem
                 Perfect.
     Dare
to love
       Unconditionally
              And watch
                     Your heart
               Reap a bountiful
                      Harvest
                             Of
                Rich love
                       And
                     I
            Forever
                Promise
                      You
                       It
             Will worth  it
                        
  Cheers to love !