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Do you ever dread the day?
The day you write your masterpiece.
Your heart wrenched, blood spilled, gasping for air masterpiece.
The poem you were never meant to write.
The poem of your nightmares.
I just want to sit on a swing on the back porch of our future home, with the dog at our feet, watching the sun set beneath the trees. With my head on your shoulder without a care in the world.
" you seem so shut in" they say
well that's because everything I've been through hasn't put me in the mental hospital yet
you need to live for the little moments.
for dancing in your kitchen all by yourself.
for spinning around in the rain.
for the random bursts of inspiration.
for little adventures in the city, for exploring
and getting lost but
enjoying every minute of it.
for body-positive days, when you decide
that you feel like rocking that almost-too-short dress
and those glittery heels and eyeshadow and that dark red lipstick.
for baking at 2 in the morning.
for having movie marathons, complete
with popcorn and lots of chocolate.
//
for that feeling you get when you discover a new book
that you fall instantly in love with.
for that feeling you get when you stumble across
something you accepted was lost.
for the feeling you get when you can finally play that song
that you've been practicing for hours and hours and
it sounds amazing.
//
for all the times that you'll laugh so hard
you can hardly breathe.
and all the days that you'll spend in that one coffeeshop,
surrounded by people that make you feel okay.
for being able to see the bands that you listen to constantly
live in concert, and your voice getting lost in the crowd
as you all sing along to the song that has kept you
from falling apart time and time again.

you have so much to live for.
but most importantly, you have to live
for yourself.
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