My soul yearns
For your presence
As that is everything
That I need.

I am learning to trust
God will not forsake me, never
Never been so at peace

Today
I began a new life.
I am renewed
Reborn
I feel such
Overwhelming
Joy
That I can barely hold it in.
I think
If I make this mindset
Last past today
I can live life renewed
Loving
Faithful.

Why is it so much more difficult to write
When I'm told to?

I'm sick
I have been for awhile
And I want it to go away
Because it hurts
Partially
But also
Because I don't get to see you.

Being first would be good
But the problem with first is
If something were to happen
If I were to hurt you
Further along the road
I wouldn't want to be a
First mistake.

I don't know why I'm still thinking about it
But it's way too much pressure right now.
Though I want it badly
It's impossible.

When we hang out
You fall asleep
Almost every time
And I don't know what to do.
Do I leave you alone?
Wake you up?
I want to interact with you
But you sleep.
I guess laying next to you is alright.
I don't mind.

I won't get mad
The only thing I will
Become
Is sad.
I love you
Too much.
You say love makes pain
I agree.
So
I will be sad.
But this too shall pass.
I won't be sad long.
And I'll still love you.

Don't try
And it works much
Better.

Here they come
The tears
...
Took them long enough.

Was a single tear
Really all I could spare?
I feel like ****
I'm a ******* *******
Only one?!
What is my problem.
Sitting on my high ******* horse
Feeling glad that I don't judge others
Like some christians
When I do it anyway.
Feeling bad
And all I can bring
Is ONE tear...
****.

What is time?
We all have it.
Some, more than others.
But we all have the same.
11:23
Or, at least here.
We all run out.
We all have too much.
No one has enough.
The more you take, the better it is.
You can give it to people.
Can you take it away?
It goes like lightning.
Does it come?
Do we share time?
Do we have our own?
Can we travel in it?
So many things.
But what...
Is it?

I can be happy somewhere
But not here
Never here

Three words
Do you know them?
I bet you do.
"I love you"
It is hard to say
But for you
I can get these
Three little words
Out of my mouth.
Why?
Because I know
Beyond a shadow of a doubt
That it is true.

You say there's things I don't know.
The thing is
I've heard things.
Been discreetly told things.
You still take us
But I wonder if you really want to?
If you care to?
If you don't want to it's alright
But I really wish you'd clarify for me
Because my mind left without an answer
Cannot rest easily.

Being with you
Around you
Near you
Has become normal
It feels so right
So natural
That I think this may be
How it should be.

Why is it that
When someone says my name
It almost always sounds foreign?
Not from another country
No, it's like it's someone else.
But then who
Am I?

Right now
I am simply
Happy.
I won't be brought down
Though I dread tomorrow.
I am talking to you
Even though we sit in silence.
I cannot believe how happy this makes me.

Well, well
I am well
Lately I haven't fallen down
...
A well.
So I'm, well, well!
Well, bye!

Take only what you need for today
Because if you take what you need for tomorrow
You're taking someone else's today away.

I reach out
But I cannot touch you
I cannot touch anything

Sitting under a tree
Next to you
Not for long
But
There is few things
That I have enjoyed
More.

Most of our talks
Are through letters
Text
Words
But somehow
Even through the distance
You manage to make me
Happy.

Now I think about it
I need to stop
It needs to stop
I know it's enjoyable
But
Stop it me
I don't want this
Though I do sometimes
It needs to just
STOP

When I write
It's not my words being spewed from my hands
It's my thoughts spewing from my mind
Laid bare for all to see
Sometimes even things I didn't
Know I thought about.
It's a learning experience
For everyone.

In a little over twelve hours
A huge thing
An essential part
Of my life
...
I hope it goes well
And I hope I can fall asleep.

Running is always an answer.
Whether it be physical,
Or mental.
But sometimes
You need to stay.

I just thought you should know
I dream of you day and night.

I do not know
How I feel.
To be  honest,
It really doesn't matter.
I don't care if I'm
Hurt
Suffering
In pain.
It matters more
That I keep others
From feeling
That way.
Therefore,
My own feelings should come
Last.

I never
Want to give you
Pain
Ever again.
I know I will
But
I will try.
Because
That is all I can do.