The night sky looms upon me
My vision intense
Through the stars
Beyond the moon
Into the black oblivion
And alone I stand

The thought of you
As part of the future me
a vision of happiness
An idiot’s illusion

Dreams and hopes
My ultimate desire
Nothing but delusions
of a desperate soul

to black starless sky I lock my gaze
eternal emotionless haze
the hurt free bliss
sliding into the abyss

i look at you
and i love you
you push me away
and drive me away
but i look at you
and i love you
you play with my heart
and tease my thought
but i look at you
and fall in love all over again

Fake smiles and painful laughs.
Living at the bottom of every glass.
A Tasty sweet sanctuary,
Sipping away my misery.
*****, *** or Gin
The sentimental seduction of choice.
Stop trying now, my time to give in!

However, time always move on.

Thoughts of you, once again, pulsating through my mind
Stop!
Control this!
I need another bottle.
Drunken Distortion,
Surreal serendipity.
It’s good to be home,
Alone but never lonely.
Undiluted,
Liquid absolution,
I found my foundation.

And time keeps moving on.

Once again, my mind is clear, Epiphany.
Straight lines down a drawn path.
You. A fragment from my history,
You can keep my heart.
I don’t need it anyway.
A glass once broken cannot be refilled.

This time. My time, it’s coming to an end.

I have gazed upon my fate
Awakened.
There is nothing now except the wait.
One more sip... and then another.
That’s it, Im back to feeling great.
Slowly slipping into the obscurity where it all began
My mortal paradise.
The final freedom.

Only love is,
An open invitation,
for disillusionment
and pain!

The morning sunrise,
A bright new day.
My existence, once again real.

As I rise to my feet;
grasping for energy.
No time to weep.

The shadows of night,
Still weighs upon me.
My patterns of thought,
Erratic and free.
I try to move on,
And even harder to forget.

The emptiness of slumber,
Now overflowing with reality.
The quiet bliss of inexistence,
Is once again behind me.
The harmony of night,
fades away with the dwindling moonlight.

In the depths of my mind,
the painful reminders prevail.
While my eyes remain ever dry,
Emotionless,
I shake and quiver.
As my tears of sorrow
Slowly stream down from within.
A feeling of anguish,
Engulfing a broken heart.

A single moment of weakness,
Too scared to hold on.
Too painful to let go.
My wish to vanish in darkness,
A realm to dwell in impassively.

Through darkness,
As in light.
My shadowed thoughts
Of a life once loved,
They follow me.
Never to be forgotten!
Never to be re lived!

Everything
I felt,

You did not