Happiness

I wake up fresh and happy as can be
Monday mornings are just simply nothing for me,
A new day has been given to me
Oh for what this day has in store for me I just can't wait and see,

Class starts with the teacher telling a joke
Recess and gotta sip on some of that coke
At the math class the quiz was postponed
At lunch my crush sat with me and I'm feeling like I'm ******

Just got home and mom bought some pizza
And how i enjoyed grobbin' down on that meat
Pepperoni, ham and bacon now that's just neat
Oh how today was a good day

Endin' everything at night
Just chillin on my bed not a ****** in sight
Oh how today was cute like some pup
But it was all ruined when I heard wake up!!!

Forever avoiding me,
It has a mind of its own,
I reach out to grab it;
Always too slow.

My fingers once brushed it,
I thought I had won,
It consumed my whole body;
My face felt the sun.

Before I could bask,
The warmth disappeared,
It left me alone;
Confirmed my worst fear:

It's not mine to possess,
No matter how I try,
And I won't try to retrieve it
Next time it goes by.

As a person I know
You're usually awkward
And most likely weird
But when you turn serious
My impression of you turns different
I've never seen anyone like you
I never thought you had this side of you
But seeing you like this is foreign to me
I've  become attached to you somehow
And I can't seem to put much into words what I think about you for real

It's been a year since I had a drink,
but three months since I had a cigarette

Each day I feel myself slowly fading away,
and I am scared I'll end up slipping back into my old ways.

The panic attacks at night come back,
and all I need is a way to rant.

I turn the music on full volume,
because I need something louder than the voices in my head.

I stare at my bedroom walls till past 2a.m on a school night,
I blame insomnia, but my mind is the reason why.

I can't stop myself from thinking back to when I actually slept at night,
and when my hands didn't shake all day long,

I feel like I am just a pair of eyes,
watching as the world goes by.

I am just a bystander,
while everyone keeps moving.

I started to feel nothing again,
letting things go on while I stood still.

Close your eyes, slam the door
Lay yourself down on the floor .
You Put your hands, right over your face,
Hoping, you'll get out of this place
Love to be sought, words to be spoken,
But it's kinda hard when your heart is broken.

I don't care what everyone else thinks
When they see us together
And whisper to each other

I only care about the way you hold my hand
And laugh softly at a joke only you know
And smile the most genuine smile in the world

Because they haven't seen you like I have
At two in the morning
Making stupid jokes because you're tired.

They haven't felt you like I have
Pressed against my back
While your fingers run through my hair.

And they will never love you like I love you
With every fiber of my being
Forever.