so she says...
your mouth suddenly goes Gobi Desert dry,
somehow manage a single swallow,
sounding as loud as if you've cracked
all twelve of you pistol-toting open carry knuckles simultaneous
****, as ridiculous as I sounded,,
it can't be worse than my succinct, elegant,
pithy response of a choking, but interrogatory
(translation: excuse me, what did you say,
are you crazy, and did I hear you correctly
and are you completely crazy?)
then that awful pause
as you wait for
from her mission control,
a scientifically measurable and
unendurable two shakes of a lamb's tail
(10 nanoseconds in atomic scientist lingo)
while that interminable wait drags on and on,
you manage to prepare an Old Testament long
and truly impressively worthy sing-song
list of variegated absurd follow up responses,
- **** those ten pounds that summer slipped on so quietly
- is she really that crazy
- does she really think you're that crazy
- really? naked naked? (as opposed to just naked),
or just in a, uh, a bathing suit?
- hot ****! there is a first time for e v e r y t h i n g!
- mmmm, what's she really after?
- am I going to be an Internet instantaneous super star?
- but I'm not tan down you know where
- she's just making fun of a really old man
- that's gross (or more accurately,
"I am so gross looking i.e. **** those ten pounds")
- yeah baby
- and the concluding eloquent summarizing thought of:
"make me an offer I can't refuse"
which sounds suspiciously
in your aged brain sadly like
"you talking to me?"
then she laughs sweetly and says,
not naked, naked pictures silly,
just those poems where you bare your soul,
of your core,
ones where we get to peek
(peak? couldn't resist) inside,
that comely come, studded,
(surely she must of meant studly,
says my semi-wounded pride)
you try to disguise
from where you draw
equal measures of pleasure & pain,
revealing yourself and so,
revealing us as well,
in a publicly secret way
cloyingly, subtly, adding
in a man-killing seductive manner,
"after all that's a kind of love poem too,
is that not so?"
dancing me into submission, knowing,
that when Wanda-Goldfish like,
elle répète en français,
there is no question who's the master
and who will be role playing the obedient
slave to poetry
Sic transit gloria mundi, all glory is fleeting..
that's a not half bad compliment....
so I reply
you know there is a very
steamy seamy dark side to me
and as proof,
and in fulfillment
of her request,
I gave her this love poem
and no telling what happened next
4:21am, of course