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Apr 2016 · 3.6k
My craving
Tea-ful Apr 2016
I have a craving for words, where my mouth feels out of place and my tongue doesn't sit comfortably in my mouth until I can perfectly describe the feelings.
A craving for a fulfillment of indescribable content that your mouth can almost taste.
In the same way that I crave the feeling of your hug while tears run down my face and that one juice that tastes like childhood, I crave words.

- F.T.
Feb 2016 · 439
His Chaos
Tea-ful Feb 2016
There's a chaos about him and his beautiful soul. The type that makes the world slow down but makes your head spin out of control when you're with him.
He notices the smallest things I do, like how I go onto my tippy toes and then kiss him on the back of his neck.
How, when I'm driving, I always look at him and smile.
But somehow he's also entranced by his own little world. The way he feels the music as it plays around him and the way he sees the world are all unique to him and it's wonderful.
His dance moves, amuse me, but they show his complete involvement in the music and I can see when he loses himself in the rhythm.
He loves taking pictures but always does the same three poses to show his side and angle he thinks is his best. When in fact they're all his best because he's truly lovely, not only to look at, but also to experience.
Together we can be innocent and naïve yet guilty and experienced at the same time in our actions, words and thoughts.
But when he's not with me and I miss him, I spin around in circles to replicate the feeling of being around him.
I never realized how much I relied on physical contact to feel comfortable in life and without it I constantly feel physically ill.
When the only part of him I have near me are pictures of our past memories, I still get butterflies thinking about him.
His chaos is my happiness.

- F.T.
Jan 2016 · 804
Trying to forget
Tea-ful Jan 2016
Since I've been gone, I've been trying not to fall in love with you.

I've been trying to forget the fallen stars in your eyes and the battle scars on your body.

I've been trying to forget your touch which gave me comfort and the warm feeling of your breath against my neck.

I've been trying to forget the outline of your body and the soft touch of your lips when you kissed me.

I've been trying to forget how we held hands and how you used to hold my thigh.

I've been trying to forget how you know I hate that you smoke, but how you love to click your Marlboro cigarettes.

I've been trying to forget how you look when you sleep and how you flinch when you're sad.

I've been trying to forget how your whole body shakes when you cry and how you held me.

I've been trying to forget how you laugh and how it always makes me smile.

But I haven't been able to get these things off my mind. I must already be in love with you.

Dec 2015 · 770
Boundary Love
Tea-ful Dec 2015
Where the sky and the earth meet is where my love is created.

Where it's always just out of reach and not physically tangible. Where the sun visits daily and the birds are in constant pursuit of.

A love that can be seen but never possessed  long enough to give away.

Nov 2015 · 1.1k
An Exuberant Soul
Tea-ful Nov 2015
He is encapsulated by an energy. An energy which is visible from miles away and it's simply and utterly fantastic.

The energy emitted from his smile has the ability to leave you breathless in the most beautiful way.

A soft and warm touch which can render you paralyzed in awe.

Every insecurity escapes as you feel accepted from a single glance.

And as we hug I can feel myself falling victim to the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

His being, his presence is addictive.

- F.T.
Nov 2015 · 707
The lonely hour
Tea-ful Nov 2015
As I sit here at 3am
missing you like hell,
I realize how difficult it will be
when it's gone.

I wonder what it's like to
no longer feel the comfort
of your hands on my skin because
your touch feels like home and
without you I'll seem incomplete.

I think about not
being able to feel your breath
on my neck when we're lying in bed
because it's my security from
my lonely problematic thoughts.

I know thinking about you
will begin to hurt
and I wonder how long it'll be
before I give in.

- F.T.
I'm leaving someone very important to me behind when I leave for university next year and there's nothing I can do about it. We'll be hundreds of kilometers away from each other and the thought is breaking my heart.
Oct 2015 · 514
Tea-ful Oct 2015
Now I'm left trying to figure out which of the broken pieces of my heart, that lay before me, have your name written on them, because they don't belong back in my chest.

Oct 2015 · 615
The last resort
Tea-ful Oct 2015
I don't drink but, ever since we've called it quits, I've just wanted to get drunk so I could kiss you and blame it on the alcohol...

- F.T.
Oct 2015 · 661
Tea-ful Oct 2015
This is for the feelings I've felt many a time but for the words I've never had the chance to say.

- F.T
I've always been given a reason to cut off relationships because as soon as I start to trust and develop feelings for him, I find out his true intentions or feelings. I've never said I love you to anyone before and there's nothing more I want to experience in life that to get to the stage where I'm completely confident he feels the same as I do and I can finally tell him that I love him.
Sep 2015 · 1.6k
Tea-ful Sep 2015
Little did she know that she'd start falling for his nerdy quirks which set him apart from the rest.

- F.T
Sep 2015 · 569
set me free
Tea-ful Sep 2015
I want to feel free for once in my life. Where the walls around my house are not boundary lines and my skin is not encapsulating my soul which only dreams of escaping.

- F.T
Sep 2015 · 638
The story of loneliness
Tea-ful Sep 2015
There's this cold. It’s a feeling. It's a cold that isn't obvious to anyone else, but it’s very much present. It’s the kind of feeling that makes your whole body tremble. The icy feeling of being unloved by that one person, who has the power to shake your entire being.

It happened in ... the year is irrelevant. I loved him and that’s all that matters. This is probably going to end up being a clichéd love story, but it’s my story, and it’s meaningful to me. It affected me in a way that nothing has done before.

It was cold the night we met. My friend and I were having a sleepover and we were getting pizza from our favourite Italian place down the road. It’s a tradition for sleepovers. We were in our pyjamas, with big hoodies and Ugg boots.  We were simply getting supplies for our movie night.  

You walked in, clearly a regular because everyone knew your name, yet I’d never noticed you before. There was something about you that intrigued me. I knew immediately that I wanted to find out what was different about you. You stood next to me in the line and started chatting. You even offered to pay for my pizza and then you wrote your number down on a napkin for me. I left the restaurant with a spring in my step and a twinkle in my eye. You had shown an interest in me. You were the first boy to ever show an interest in me. I guess that’s why I fell for it. You made me feel like you loved me and I believed you.

You gave me a warm feeling inside and when I was with you, it felt like I was burning. It sounds painful, but it was the most exhilarating feeling I have experienced in my long lifetime.

It was too good to be true because within two months, I found out that you had slipped my friend your number, that very same night we met. She didn’t tell me. She betrayed my trust. Wholeheartedly and knowingly.

An ocean of tears burst from me and I locked myself in my bathroom for hours on end. I don’t know what hurt the most; the fact that she had betrayed me or what you had done. The loneliness echoed around me while I sat in the cold bathroom listening to my own sadness.

She was my best friend and he was my first love. I haven’t spoken to either of them since that day. They’re married now. I still see them around town every now and then, but I refuse to acknowledge them. That is simply because it still hurts so much. Thirty years later and it still hurts. Unfortunately real life never works out the way it does in the movies.

I have grown up terrified of falling in love, but am still in search of it. This was my fatal flaw. I keep telling myself, if only he could have truly loved me and hadn’t played with my heart as if it was a simple child’s game. I would have made him the happiest man in the world and I would now be basking in the warmth of his love. That never happened and so I am faced with the fact that he didn’t love me and never will.

So here I am, thirty years later. Lying in my bed, covered in blankets and still feeling the cold. I still tremble uncontrollably every night. All I long for is to feel his love, to no longer suffer the cold of his absence.

- F.T
Sep 2015 · 573
Drunken Truths
Tea-ful Sep 2015
Drunken truths rush through my veins as I struggle to hold back my deepest secrets from escaping my mouth, but I love you.

- F.T
Sep 2015 · 1.2k
Tea-ful Sep 2015
I just want to cuddle you into oblivion, until we become one person and I can call you mine...

- F.T
Sep 2015 · 360
His Fire
Tea-ful Sep 2015
He gave me a warm feeling inside and when I was with him, it felt like I was burning. It sounds painful, but it was the most exhilarating feeling I have experienced in my lifetime.

Aug 2015 · 3.5k
Marks of Life
Tea-ful Aug 2015
Stretch marks are the body’s equivalent of the face’s laughter lines.

I just really wish that we could see the body for all its beauty rather than hating it. I truly hope that more comparisons like this can be made to make people feel good about themselves instead of trying to tear their confidence to shreds.
Aug 2015 · 2.1k
Tea-ful Aug 2015
I found my answer in your hesitation.

- F.T
Aug 2015 · 710
Her love
Tea-ful Aug 2015
The only thing she truly wanted out of life was to experience falling in love with someone.
She wanted the emotional connection to set her soul free.
She thought it would bring beauty to her life; that the flowers would smell more fragrant and she would feel more alive... but it only made her understand why she's so desperately reliant on those "happy pills".

- F.T
Aug 2015 · 940
Tea-ful Aug 2015
True vulnerability of two individuals around each other has the power to make you question every emotion you've ever felt.
Watching it is beautiful, but experiencing it is extraordinary.

- F.T
Jul 2015 · 545
Tea-ful Jul 2015
You betrayed my trust.
Wholeheartedly and knowingly.
I don't know what hurts more; what you're saying or that people believe it.

Jul 2015 · 663
Tea-ful Jul 2015
As they cuddled he tried to turn over, but she simply took his arm and wrapped it around her again and in the deepest of sleep, asked for him to never leave her.

Jul 2015 · 250
The Contradiction
Tea-ful Jul 2015
We have grown up in a generation that is terrified of falling in love, but which is still in search of it.

- F.T
Jul 2015 · 667
Tea-ful Jul 2015
She was a cliché of depression and eating disorders.

- F.T
Jul 2015 · 603
Tea-ful Jul 2015
Tell me you know how it feels... To be sent into a downward spiral. To be controlled by pills. To have minimal control over yourself. To not feel happy in your own body. These 'clichés' are uncontrollably perpetuated by the society we live in. Annoying. Attention seeking. If only you truly understood...

Jul 2015 · 2.1k
The Absence
Tea-ful Jul 2015
There's this cold.
A feeling.
It's a cold that isn't obvious, but very much present.
The kind that makes your whole body shake.
The cold feeling of being unloved by that one person, which has the power to shake your entire being.

- F.T

— The End —