the mystery of beautiful women
      time is an ocean we swim in
  her face, my mind, hair cinnamon
big blue sky, what do we know?
    singing just to watch him die.  In Reno.
             driving home from the dance
                                                 (Valley below)

  smoky night. fighting fright. softly snow.
Hope and despair are partners
Living side by side
One leaps for the heavens
And one to suicide

A perpetual tug of war
Within the sensitive soul
Neither can be cast out
And neither be made whole

As with so much in life
Coincidentia oppositorum
The agony abides
These frenemies in fine forum
idiot imbecility
dead level of the mass indeed
the racist, misogynist, demagogic hurt
courage and cunning to the Divine Inert.
Oblivion impressed upon me
For lo! these many years
To be forever forgotten
My most primal and private fear

I fell for her at 16
The long joy of first love
The breakup came at 18
A thought I couldn’t quite conceive of
She got closure and moved on
As the Americans do say
I kept searching in the mailbox
For letters that never came my way
Intimacy then the Void
Does strange things to the mind
Makes you seek and seek and seek
Yea though you seek, you shall not find
Yet sometimes in the silence
Her face in moonlight at the beach
Though still she lives inside me
She remains long gone, out of reach

Together for a mystic moment
When beautiful and young
Then separated again forever
As the Secret Song is sung
Marksonian transience
       me in the ambulance
           men must endure going hence
traveling again tomorrow
     despite panic, pain and sorrow
            without a why in fairness
  and yet - the awareness of whereness
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