she is
never stable
forever shifting
iridescent light
burning fire
molded by
foreign hands
foreign trauma
infecting body
it still hurts
as if it were
her own

everyone else that can live
-------------------------------------------------
you are here. under the surface
↓
↓
↓
↓
↓
↓
what is below what you thought to be rock bottom?

are you even trying to get better?
why are you making so many excuses?
what is your problem? just swim up!

why would i try to swim if i don't know what the surface looks like?
what is the point anymore...

i can't breathe...........

.......
.......
.......

i am my future
i am my savior
i am my destiny
i am the key

the curse breaks through me
and through the breaking
comes forth my salvation
as it was inside of me this whole time

https://imgur.com/a/rVm5rXS

i'll become someone new;
brighter, stronger, sweeter.
i don't know exactly what i'll be
but i know i'll be okay.

i want to stand on my two feet
without a crutch or an excuse
truly i know that i'm scared of
being independent, or unaided pride
used to crave being that golden child
beam of light, blistering sun

I am a scholar, magician, architect
But also a gladiator about to burst through the gates
I am the Hermit but also the Sun hiding behind the clouds
I am the sword never drawn, fire never started
I am begging to be realized as I should be
Protective hands that would never do such a thing
For fear they would lose me in life's claws