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 Sep 2014 Taylor St Onge
 Sep 2014 Taylor St Onge
shoulders squared
putter lined up against
the pink gum ball at my
miniature feet
i know my father is watching
and i know he will swing me around in his arms
regardless if i get a hole in one,
and say, 'i'm proud of you, kathy b'
that loop-de-loop was a real *****

i remember the car rides home
fleetwood mac on the freeway
every time i asked you where we were going
you'd tell me, "to the moon"
hold my hand,
and with you
we went celestial

and in a couple years,
i'll advance and swing clubs against the wind
i begged you to teach me, begging
"how do you get that ball to fly so high"
i'd crane my neck against the sky
even with me on your shoulders,
our love flew so high
and i was terrified of you dropping me

i never played to impress you
i played because it was a part of you
sweetly polished, leather golf shoes
you smelled like grass,
and sunday
and thick tulsa wind
so you and i played every weekend

in aunt melissa's backyard,
i stared at my compromise
when i was thrown off the backseat of the cart
my twisted tiny fingers
pit pattering against rubber
it smelled like gasoline
and i couldn't stop thinking about
your sweet leather, newly polished shoes

we didn't play golf anymore after that
i stared death in the face, and so do you
because we hold hands in a different ways
you're on my shoulders now
because your occipital is faulty
and you can barely see

i'm hoping one day,
you'll teach me how to hurl pink gum *****
through the wind, so effortlessly
i hope one day you'll teach me
to pick out the perfect christmas tree,
and i hope you tells me you're proud of me,
kathy b
a perfect chicken soup recipe
the cure for all broken memories
I'm really just daydreaming in my own world
i let my thoughts stir
let them uncurl
let them whirl around the room
and let the room twirl

i lose my mind sometimes
i get lost in my thoughts
and think of all the times
that I've been through
that I've done
and who I've become

and i let my mind fly
wild in the sky
soar around the stars at night
daydreaming in the light
oh what a sight

what a show i have going on in this brain of mine
Deceased, from foolish naivety
Born again from the soil and ash of a loving father
Am I so bold to question him?
Am I so humbled for him to grace me with his presence?

For I am a traitor of many tongues
For I am a thief of many homes
How can you grace me with rebirth and forgiveness
The very question that I should not ask.

Are these not the same questions that skewed my path?
Is this not the same debauchery that lead me to Hades and death?

For these are my mistakes, and I will never mourn.
Engraved in flesh, cleansed in blood, I have been reborn.
God be in my heel, and stand me atop the ground.
My choice is right, my path is clear, and I am ever found.
My first poem up here really proud of it.
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