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Memories exist in the feel of your love that live within the sound inside your soul
I am digging deep inside an old casket buried in a cosmic black hole
Dead as it may seem, it is alive in you
I resurrect them in organic gardening tunes
The tools I use are made for the soil in your mind
The kind that come from foreign lands
And arent easy to recognize
They bloom when I'm not looking
They manifest and shine
They act as a boomerang
They bloom on their own time
I am fortunate enough
To smell the scent of glory
The fact that they even flower
Let's me know that I am worthy
A reflection I can count on
A flower that can sing
A woman that holds power
One who doesn't need a man for anything

She'd just like to have one
Sounds nice, and it is ❤️
This romance, the dance, this chance
Has left me in the rubble
Climbing mountains, and taking hikes
Feel subtle compared to where you have left me
I stare into the abyss
Wishing for a kiss from someone
Who understands attraction
Who understands reaction
Who takes me for who I am
Not some outdated faction
I am stronger than these conversations
I am more than these personalizations
I am not wrong in thinking I am more than these realizations
These people are not free
They are confining me to their reality
That I want no part in
Where I am not sacred
And I am
I AM AND I ALWAYS WILL BE
But just because you don't understand doesn't mean I don't want you with me
This is why I still hang on to you...
My tomb stone sits on the edge of my personal expression
A lesson learned in time and in conversation
I cower at the thought of losing my own head
My own mind, and my discipline

I know how to stare him straight in the eyes
I know how to deceive him in between my thighs
I am an angel
I am a sinner, and I know how to strangle time
This is the divine era of modern waste, and sweet sublime
I am practicing a dream
I am in the center of space
I am coming together with everything that will ever take place
I am solid, after being liquid, beaten, and broken
I am here for every day that I choose to own it
I am thankful, full, and full of blood
Without you in my life
I would be drowning in the mud
You were the shark that bit the skin off my bones
You left me naked, and let me sink into the bottom of the ocean- buried
Left in the dark with nothing but my memories
You took my identity
In the beginning I was shocked, devastated, and afraid
But now I want to thank you for washing my sins away
You took more than my skin when you devoured the flesh from my bones
I became one with the Sea, the biggest piece of me- water
There is a purpose for the evil we allow into our reality
To defeat or even to be defeated by it
What I allowed to happen changed me
I felt the water that had always been a part of my body
I drank it out of a chalice made from the rocks in the Sea
It fed into my empty bones, and I started to appreciate where I came from
I started a life all over again
I rooted myself to the bottom of the ocean only to allow myself to turn into something more beautiful that would one day find it self with ankles, knees, toes, fingers, and a heart beat
Maybe one that I could actually hear this time
Or even feel aligning with the breaths inside my rib cage
I would appreciate the movement of the water flowing through my veins, up and down my spine, and connecting to my brain
I am water, and it is mostly all I have ever been
With out the bite from your rusted teeth that night
I would have never understood what it costs to be human
What it takes, and what it means to break
I am not afraid to die
I can now even stare into its lonesome eyes
I am so free, because of us
Thank you for your gruesome ending
Your shallow stomach
Your broken heart
Your manipulated kiss
I will always remember the last time we touched
If I lose my way, I know we will meet again
You can not forget your first love
It is what carries us to every next day
And I love you so much
Why do you think I decided to stay?
You shot me
Dead
Never to allow me myself,
And only myself ever again
Indifferent to what that all could mean
Serene, but heavenly to me
Like an angel
You sat down at my table
Allowed me to feel able of this future
This picture, and this endeavour
I can't take this on with out you,
And for some reason I actually want to
Please me with history
Bless me with this memory
We are sacred
We are one
I interteined with you in a single moment
But in all seriousness
You were the one that held the gun
 Feb 2016 Taylor Rothanzl
Evynne
Imagine an idea
That is screaming and golden
Growing special
Each day

The weight of my existence was harder to handle
A clean grace that remained
Through the night
I started to run for some reason
And the sensation was strange
But no one noticed
I closed my eyes
And painted the canvas that sits
On the backs of my eyelids
With bright hues
Of all of my favorite colors
Swirls of red, blue, pink, yellow, purple and green
The colors are calming and only
Propel me forward
Now the streets are changing colors
And my breath is getting heavier

In the middle,
The streets become wider
Turning in circles
And I want to blame
Someone
Or something
But I am done being bitter
And beating myself up all the time
I am smiling now
At all of the beautiful and colorful things
Manifesting right in front of my eyes

There is a ***** bliss
And my mind is more attentive
I do not feel as though I need to continue searching,
Letting all of the aching wondering swirl up and around me
Invading my pure and unconscious thoughts
Making me feel like an evil little mess
And then I remind myself that I am my own worst critic

There are frequent,
But completely unknown,
Voices that exist inside of my thoughts
They're not always nice to each other either
They all talk at the same time
And it gets really confusing
They're rarely quiet
But when they are,
The hollowness is not comfortable

As I run,
The voices seem to be talking faster and louder
And I want it all to stop

It feels like my loneliness is spurting out of me in colorful hues like warm gurgling blood  
And I belong to a precious experience
Possessing a knowledge and a passion that was released into my innocence as a youth
Now that my innocence has diminished,
The passion and the knowledge have changed shape
But they are more prominent
Stronger and more powerful than ever before

There are flames on the mountaintops as I stand below them
A stranger laughs and the sunshine glints perfectly atop my twisted and stained fingertips
My wounds have been shed
The rage that was once poison has transformed
Despite the depths of the secret monster that lives inside of me
Hanging despair up by clothespins
I know that the void is fading

Tender wisdom as the greatest killing machine and strings like puppets with no imagination
Respect as a season
That is stuck and stained
Higher
Reaching the horizon
Understanding the changing stream of colors and voices alike

Courage as thunder
Rough weather,
But a beautiful outcome
Kissing the smoothing madness
That swims inside of me daily
Travelling strangers repeating humanity
The mystery is painful
The company is invisible
She'll perfectly fade and disappear and though you will be sad,
You must not forget that it will all be beautiful
And perfect

The ****** ancient curse
And the hidden nasty beast
Have conversations that rhyme
But the gods shine down speaking infinitely
Begging for me to destroy the shell
And fill the holes
Brush off the dirt
And swallow the moonlight

Delicate fields of flying pink petals surround me
The chaos is twice as intense
But never forget that one must
Have chaos burning within them
To give birth to a shining star

By: Evynne Doue
A flower is a gift
It is protection
Reflection, an unseen jurisdiction
A mask, and an illusion
It is simple, and in some instances,
Medicine
I call upon the flowers
I speak to the petals
I ask them for guidance
I treat them like angels
They are my greatest teachers
Lovers, and friends
They are the most beautiful piece of my imagination
Sacred geometic patterns locked in a single shape
They helped me open my eyes, and open a gate
Multiple moments parallel to each other
Instances that align and bring us together
Blooming ripples that flow like a river
Creating a world that is sacred and silver
Forget about karmatic gold and the gods that lost the heat
Open your eyes to idea of prosperity
Green grass and significant botanics
Trees and leaves and our ancestors of Atlantis
You have heard it said that
A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose
But truly I tell you that
I am that I am that I am that I am
Dripping with Jehovah and stardust we fell to earth
Pieces of atmosphere pieced together
And who can trace the mythology of our chemical compositions
Or rewrite the narrative of our anatomies?
I fell to earth soaked in Yahweh and covered in snakebites
Black holes where the fangs sunk into the astronomy of my freckled skin
All the galaxies of my body each with their own elliptical orbits
Connect the dots to form two wolves in my milky way
Romulus and Remus –
My ******* bear venom white as the purest lamb
Whisper astrology and
Remember the day we built Rome by stacking corpses
Remember the day when all the stars burned red for us
But that was millennia ago and
I’m not your Venus anymore –
I’m nobody’s ******* Venus anymore
It was the age of Pisces and we came out drenched in Messiah
You found me picking painted roses on asteroid planets
With a blonde-haired child and a fox
In the garden green snakes and white roses
Thorns and soft pink ribbon-tongues
Fangs and velvet petals
Two drops of blood in the white sand like Mary,
I bore a son and named him Ares
I named him Mars
I named him Set
Boys will be boys will be boys will be monsters, you know that
I am that I am that I am that I am.
Swim down deep enough into the black waters and you’ll reach the heavens
Keep drawing blood from thorn wounds and you’ll drag out the atmosphere
Stare out intently into the abyss and the abyss will stare back into you
These are the things we knew
When we reached the outer boundary of the cosmos
And realized how hydrogen is nothing but celestial amniotic fluid
We, motionless
Smothered by God and Carbon and perfume and poison
In this ****** we named universe
On this fetus we named Earth
I am that I am that I am that I am
Truly with you until the end of the age
Until the afterbirth of star matter gets tossed out with the baby and the bathwater.
You have heard it said
A rose called by any other name wouldn’t smell as sweet
But truly I tell you
A rose is only as beautiful and fragrant as its thorns are sharp
And if you want to know what fills the space between protons and electrons
The gaps between breaths
The light-years between planets
Then listen to the sound of your own heart beating
Counting down the gestation period of our own reality
I am that I am that I am that I am
I’m more than a Rose.
The warmth of this vision inside of me is healing
like a fire burning with friends gathered around telling ghost stories
of what used to be
I still hear their voices in my fainted memory
They sound staggered, and I can hear them yelling
Searching for an answer to this untitled folk tale
Not realizing they are stuck in the cell of someone elses reality
The earth has the answers
unseen and untouched
You just have to ask
but asking seems like the last crutch
it's the only crutch if you don't start looking
miracles do happen
it's why I am writing
Sundown after the charcoal town
We've been burning since December
I remember when you and I danced on Ice
Such a sacrifice we held together
Unweathered and untethered
Pleasured and unmeasured
You held me over your shoulders
The weight was so heavy,
And we still never sank under
What a dance
I still remember
Two bright stars over frozen layers of water
....
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