You're gone.
But you remain.
You're tousled in the sheets.
You're just down the hall.
Sometimes I roll over in bed,
And throw my arm across empty air,
And remember.
You're gone.


But if you are so gone,
Why can I still smell you on the pillows,
After they've been washed?
Why do I hear you breathing
In the dead of the night?
Why do I hear you coming through
The door at night?


You're so gone.
But you're still here!
And I can't escape you

I'm cold.
And I'm tired.
And I'm so done.
Of being the only one.
Trying.

I'm alone.
And unprepared.
And so over being dragged along.
Of being the one that must be strong.
I'm weak.

Why?
Why is it me?
Why do I do for you,
But not me, too.

And you let me,
You let me **** myself.
You let me go through trials,
Guess you haven't cared for a while.

You say:
"I shouldn't put,
you through my pains"
But I guess it's all the same.
To you.

I do remember,
A beautiful time.
When I was yous,
And you were mine.

But it's not that simple.
It's not easy.
Because you're killing me.
So slowly.

Hold my hand darling,
though it may be weak.
Keep me in your thoughts,
though I may be meek.
Fight the feeling that you have,
don't leave without goodbye.
I cannot fight alone, you see.
For I am not alive.
Though I hold my head high,
the blade is higher.
I am not ashamed at all,
just full of desire.
and in these moments,
I can see all of life,
It is daring and beautiful,
This cannot be mine.
Look, there I am,
hiding in the tree,
Look at that smile,
Look, it's me.
Those times when I could breathe,
Those times when I could feel,
They seem so long ago,
Now they don't seem real.
Wait, it's still here.
I can feel it deep inside,
The feeling I was looking for,
when I was looking to die.
Darling, do you remember,
the way you said my name?
No, don't say it now.
It brings only pain.
For in this moment,
the rope has been hung,
and i'm gently swaying,
my song has been sung.
The day is closeing,
The heavens are opening,
Darkness is coming.
I am done hoping.
In this moment I am so alive,
The thrill pumps through my veins.
I haven't felt so alive,
since the end of 8th grade.
Goodbye, darling.
You'll see me in your last sleep.
Where together we can feel,
and always just be.
The birds are singing,
The day is warm.
I'm gently swaying,
My life is worn.




*I promise I'm not suicidal, random inspiration