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May 2017 · 494
Hollow
You echo through me
bouncing off every bone in my body ending in the center of my cranium.
Every time I think I am over you I am brought back to my chemical make up
my chemistry
with you.
You're so oblivious.
Perhaps it is better that way though,
that part of us was left behind years ago.
I wanted to take care of you too much,
to distract myself from the fact that I was the one that needed fixing.
I still wonder what it would have been like to wake up next to you every once and awhile
or
to adventure with you
across the country
or the world.
I do wonder if you think about it,
what could be if we just gave it a chance.
I guess none of it really matters.
I'll leave soon and you'll keep moving on,
but i'll hear your name echo through me.
You know what the sad part is?
You'll read this and wonder who the hell the guy is that has got me so messed up.
Mar 2016 · 661
January 10th, 2016
You broke me into pieces I didn't know I had,
but you already knew that.
The first time you laid hands on me every scratch I had seemed to disappear only moments later to return as cracks.
How did I get so fragile?
How could you bear to touch me?
I felt the ice in my heart turn to fire and I thought it was because I was starting to feel alive again
but really I was fighting for my life.
My heart's adrenaline was fleeing from a monster I didn't know I had until it was too late.
I know now that the world waits for no one
and if I were to stop this vicious cycle the time I would need to mend is much too great for this world to handle.
So I don't know if I'm afraid of losing you or afraid that in the time it will take me to mend the world will simply leave me behind.
I am much too insecure to be left behind by the two things that matter most.
I don't remember writing this.
Dec 2015 · 500
Winter Has Forgotten Me
The snow should have fallen by now,
everyone knows that
even the flowers know.
If you listen hard enough you can hear them crying
for the snow that isn't coming.
It's sad really,
usually beauty is replaced with beauty.
Bright flowers
to
white snow.
But the snow has gone elsewhere this winter
and all that's left is frost ridden fields.
I feel helpless,
hopeless,
hard,
like a person petrified under the ice that doesn't exist.
It's peculiar how fast hypothermia sets in when you're not even cold.  
I suppose I'm just a dying flower.
This isn't about flowers.
Sep 2015 · 519
The Stunt Double
He took me to the movies and held my hand like a feather
but he didn't hold it like you.
He sang to me words made of silk and velvet
but he didn't sound like you.
He held me when I cried
but he didn't feel like you.
He took me out dancing
he kissed me at the door
he smoothed talked his way inside
but it wasn't like with you.
He woke me up with hot coffee and pancakes
but they didn't taste like yours.
He left one of his t-shirts on the bed
but it didn't smell like you.
He drove with one hand on the wheel one hand on my thigh
but he didn't do it like you.
He told me his love was all he could give me
but it didn't feel like yours.
I look for you in everyone.
He is sunshine and evaporates all the black water flooding my body,
the reason my lungs breath oxygen instead of liquid.
I was creating storm clouds in our sky.
He was whole,
giving me pieces of himself so maybe we both can at least be half of a person.
I have no heart to tell him that the remaining parts of me are my father's empty beer bottles broken into fragments from falling too hard.
But you,
you look ready to save him from broken glass.
You are free like a bird, flying close to my sun;
closer than I am.
But the difference is you are not ready to fall.
You are ready to hold up the world together.
To find the pieces he's lost and paint over the cracks.
And I hate you for that.
But I beg you please take him home,
give him the sky that I can't.
Because I am not as whole as you,
I do not have the love you do;
broken beer bottles hold nothing but regret.
And  I am scared of the dark but I'm even more scared of burning out the sun.
So take him home, and maybe I'll watch the sunset as you go.
I'll watch something beautiful as the wind picks up and blows away the pieces that were not mine to begin with.
How ******* dare you.
Do you remember the night you said you were coming back,
the words wrapped around the room snaking across worn out blankets, cigarette butts, and empty bottles you said you kept your promises in.
It's funny how the street lamps illuminated the truth in your lies and running to keep up was just another way to get you to come back home.
Children's hands are said to be used for getting remotes that have fallen behind the couch or grabbing that hard to reach jelly bean in the bottom of the bag,
but somehow mine seemed to reach for empty beer cans and glass shards.
It was a constant game of hide-and-go-seek played with the cuts on my
heart
.......hands
...............heart.
And today pencils caress paper sweeter than you ever touched my cheek and trust has become a double edged sword that always sinks into me.
My eyes create refections I'm not sure belong to me.
Everyone around is whispering troubled words,
you can almost hear them saying
"How ******* dare you."
I believe that prompts are the rawest of writing.
Apr 2015 · 429
I am a Natural Disaster
Someone once told me that pain is an illusion.
I remember nodding my head and staring into the distance.
But the day I found out you were never coming back pain rolled through me like a never ending avalanche.
It tumbled from my cranium to the pads of my feet destroying everything in it's path.
Earthquakes evaded my heart shaking my entire body threatening aftershocks with every step I take.
Now every time I try to breathe, memories invade my lungs burning like cigarette smoke mixed with the settling ruble.
It's like a war is raging through the trenches I call veins leaving me shell shocked.
The worst part is the quiet though, when everything goes silent.
I swear your name haunts me, it coats every inch of my skin like gasoline as I fly closer to the sun.
I'm waiting to be burned alive.
I sit on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees holding every shattered part of me together.
I think I dropped pieces  because when I walk down the hallway people look at me like a child at a funeral.
My voice is an ocean it licks the shore of my lips quickly retreating before I can mutter the words
"how can this be an illusion?"
Apr 2015 · 1.0k
Welcome to the Jungle
Welcome to the jungle
or a concrete forest that we refer to as a city because we like to pretend we are not afraid.
Where prejudiced is almighty and people have the nerve to tell an Arab that he is not welcome here.
Where price tags are displayed proudly across our wrists like poorly executed tattoos saying
I dare you to ask how much I'm worth.
Welcome to the jungle
where people who fight for our safety are **** when they return
when we spit on their faces as we hiss like snakes saying
"this friendship is for my benefit only."
Welcome to the jungle
where survival of the fittest is better known as survival of the whitest and the words I can't breathe mean choke me a little tighter.
Where the names Adrian Thomas, Brain Banks, and David Camm
don't matter
because who cares if someone was wrongly executed.
Welcome to the jungle
where woman are still viewed less then men and there are more men named David running large corporations than all women combined.
Welcome to the jungle
where no means yes and clothing has grown the personification to scream I am asking for it and safety has to something to do with
how long her dress was.
Where privileged white boys daddies can hire lawyers to get them a slap on the wrist.
where I stand here laying all of my best food in front of you when I know some of you are lions and will take everything me
Welcome to the jungle
where your pain is their gain.
Where bring back our girls
is code for
bring back our souls.
if only we could use the spilled tears to wash ourselves of sadness.
but wouldn't it be wonderful if seeing someone of another color was a different way to look at art
where the tags on our wrists say priceless
and there's no need for men in uniform
where news channels flash the word justice in bright yellow lights before the names
Eric Garner and Walter Scott
where saying no doesn't scare anyone
I suppose we are all just trying to hard to breathe
wouldn't it be wonderful if we were less worried about survival and more worried about humanity?
How wonderful it would be to not be afraid.
And some of you may not agree with me,
maybe you are the people who have been hurt
or maybe you're the people crazy enough to think
that humans belong in the jungle.
1.) Being a strong independent woman is a recourse, use it to your advantage. Show the world that you are a gift but stay modest. It's okay to say no sometimes. Your happiness is important. Don’t ever let anyone tell you you cannot do something, if they do, prove them wrong.

2.) Change is a choice. You can change anything if you try hard enough. If someone is not trying to change for the better than they don’t deserve you. And if you’re not trying to change for the better, than it says something about yourself.

3.) Charisma attracts the best of people. Own your bad quality's and embrace your best to inspire everyone around you.

4.) Give everything all you have. Strive for excellence. There is no use doing anything unless you give it all you’ve got. If you are capable of something, do it. Don’t be lazy or procrastinate; be diligent. Hard-working people make a difference. The only person who can meet your own standards is you.

5.) Time flies by and there is nothing you can do to slow it down. Hang on to what you have with both hands and cherish it because it wont be there forever. Go to basketball games you hate, take terrible shopping trips, watch bad movies, you will be glad you did in the end.

6.) Always have goals. Goals are what keep people going. If it’s working out every day, getting good grades, going to college, or simply going to bed 10 minutes earlier; strive for them. You can assure yourself you are always becoming a better more perfected person.

7.) It’s okay to have bad days, everyone does. But never take what you have for granted. Plenty of people have it much worse than you do, it may not change the way you feel but know it’s not the end of the world.

8.) Express yourself. Scream at the top of your lungs, dance, play music. Don’t bottle your emotions up, they are precious and deserve to be heard.

9.) Don’t let another person dictate your self worth, only you can do that. Hold your own hand if you need to, you will make it though anything with yourself.

10.) Love everything with all you’ve got. Even if you don’t say it show it; you have no idea what it could mean to someone else.
Today is my mothers birthday and I thought I would take a moment to reflect on some of the important life lessons she has taught me.
I remember the shirt you wore the first time you danced with me
how your sleeves pooled at your elbows like unmade bed sheets.
It felt like your bare hands were holding the broken pieces of me together
and if you let go I would fall apart.
All the worlds water seemed to splash around in your eyes creating a world pool of depth.
You were the worlds biggest accomplishment in 72 inches.

You said you wished you had gotten me flowers
but you were in full bloom.
The thorns on your unshaven face pricked at my palms
while you filled the air with the sweetest words.
Your aroma was intoxicating.
You were intoxicating.
The rhythm of your heart was knocking on every side of my cranium
searching for a reason not to stay.

I'll never understand how it found one.
Feb 2015 · 492
10 Reasons Why I'm Afraid
1.The the only thing we know about the unknown is that it will always be there.  
2. Change is a tightrope, if you reach the end it's magical but the fall is nearly inevitable. Yet we are guaranteed the fall if we never attempt to cross.
3. Snakes. Snakes are the ******* worst.
4. When I lost him, the only person I wanted to cry to was him. He was all I had left.
5.  I felt bad standing up for myself. I felt bad that I was done giving him the pleasure of setting fire to my heart. Although I convinced myself that my soul was the thing burning.
6. Sometimes I forget that I exist. Maybe it's because pain comes more natural than breathing.
Or that every day begins and ends the same way
starting with morning and ending with mourning.
And that I lost you, or the fact that this isn't a poem about my fears
it's a poem about you.
7. It's been 2 ******* years and all my poems are still about you.
8. I forgot what butterflies feel like and I am cutting into everyone around me looking for them.
9.  I've given scars everyone around me.
9. I've pushed everyone so far away no one can hear me screaming. I don't want to hurt them anymore.
9. I have a problem with endings.
10. You once told me your favorite part of anything was the end.
Why can't I write poems anymore?
Feb 2015 · 354
To The Woman He Loves
He is beautiful.
He is sour, rude, and childish.
Funny, smart, and relaxed.
He is a fingerprint of a man.

When he is sleeping
stay up
no matter how tired you are
I swear you can feel him dreaming

Let him change his mind
he doesn't always know what he wants
let him try to get out of the labyrinth and be waiting at the end

Be adventurous
buy cheap beer and cigars
the freshest air is on the edge

Kiss him when he's angry
he needs to know you love him

Accept the silence
the noise suffocates him
it's your job to make sure he doesn't asphyxiate

Don't be upset if he leaves while you need him
he's trying to hold himself together too

Coffee and bagels are a stress cure
even if he brought some for himself
give him the one you bought
he'll eat them both

Let him play video-games
he'll get his anger out
when he yells
yell with him

Hang on to everything
you wont want to forget how the stars feel on you skin  

And when it's time to leave
leave the door open behind you
and always look back

to say goodbye
Some nights I sing in the shower and eat Ben and Jerrie's with my mom
Some nights I swear the stars couldn't get any brighter and the moonlight infiltrates my room like laser-beams.
Some nights I watch depressing movies and cry until my eyes swell shut
Some nights I pray for help
for salvation from myself
Some nights I long for the falling
Some nights I dread the morning
Some nights I hide under my covers afraid that if I come out a gun will be kissing my forehead
Some nights I remember how we fell asleep together
Some nights my thoughts of you get caught in my dream catchers and I'm too afraid to face my own nightmares to fish them out
Some nights it hurts to breathe and I don't think I'll make it till morning
and I swear I can feel my own heart breaking
Some nights the words 'I don't want you' pang off the emptiness within my skull creating the saddest symphony of echoes
It's peculiar how the darkness amplifies the sound
Some nights you're in my dreams
and who am I kidding it's the night and the day and every moment in between
The thought of you is constantly strangling me just enough to let me know you are always there
and that kiss from a gun is sounding pretty good right now
Some nights I blame myself
for the poison you injected in my veins
So trust me when I say I can't come over tonight
Jan 2015 · 282
Sorrow
I remember the day I first meant him
and trying to put how I felt into words
was like trying to explain heartbreak to my mother.
I fell in love like a shooting star falls to Earth
quickly and full of wishes.
No amount of I know whats happening here makes the blow any less forceful
Little did I know my love was more like a commit
creating a blemish is the far from perfect world.
That was the day I lost him.

I miss him
I miss every strand of his DNA
The way he does that half smile from across the room
Or how he sneaks peaks me from the back of the classroom when he thinks I'm not noticing
I miss the way his voice sounded like a boulder scraping against the side of a mountain first thing in the morning.
I miss the way he blushed.
The longing in his eyes to be loved
And How I was fool enough to think I was enough to love him
But oh...
I loved him
I love the way he would stay up and share a toast with the moon and drink a whole *** of coffee the next morning
I love the how he was an atheist but still wore the cross his dad gave to him.
I love how whenever he went to bed he would sigh and let all the pain of the day be released from him.
I miss how he showed me that hearts have wings and they can flutter right out of your chest into anthers hands
and all it takes is one wrong movement for it to be
crushed
I don't know how it happened.
But you can't get away from your heart.  
The day you called me during a storm
I could've sworn the rain was falling in the beat of our song.
And I was scared it would hurt for the rest of my life
Someday I'll have to fall in love again, and I worried it will never be like you
because mistakes will be made and sometimes they aren't forgiven.
Dec 2014 · 275
What He Taught Me
Some days I remember being absolutely sure you were in love with me,
on the other days I saw right through you
deep down into your aching bones.
It's been six months and 13 days sense you left me
and still I sometimes shut my eyes hoping you'll be there when I wake.  

You infected every part of me ever sense the day I laid eyes on you
my personal poison.
My mother said I called for you in my sleep
she said I've lost the adhesive that once held me together.

My father says I was not trying hard enough to move on
it has always been easy for him.
The day you said that you have never loved anything but music should have been my first sign.
You never loved me..

But he has taught me that love doesn't hurt.
He taught me that breathing should come naturally
love is not a form of asphyxiation.
He taught me that men really do bring girls flowers
and joking about something that hurts is okay sometimes.
He taught me that wrestling is full of neck kisses and giggles
and that I'll be okay again.

He told me that his mother had a vase that shattered when he was younger
He told me that only the most beautiful things break.
He told me that they can be put back together.
He told me that the stars really are not that far away
not when you lay on clouds
because even storm clouds are closer to the stars than the ground.
He told me that the constellations were made to tell me stories
little does he know they were made for him.

My mother says I call for him in my sleep
she says when I do he comes.

My father says this is the first time I've smiled in months
he says he's glad I lost you.

The day he said that he has never loved anything like me
should have been my first sign.


He will always love me.
The stars look very different today.
She asks,
Are you a friend of his?

My eyes floated to you on a road of hundreds of people.
Ive been wondering where you've been.
I was left with unanswered texts and awkward school days.
I saw a boy with his arm around a girl,
he looked like you,
but it couldn't have been the boy who
"wasn't looking for a relationship."
You walk by me with her hand in yours
the other felt as though it was around my neck.
Now I know why you didn't wave back.
Funny how you took her to my favorite restaurant.
Funny how you do the things for her I begged you to do for me.
Funny how I still wanted to kiss you.
The old dress shirt I loved so much was all too frayed that night
and the loose strings tugged on the corner of my mouth forcing a smile.
It all just seemed like a twisted memory
because I remember the night I smiled at you in nothing but that shirt.
What kind of déjà vu is this?
Her introduction floated lightly off her lips
maybe it's because this I was the one choking on her words.
Your eyes begged me to forget the past
but it's not that easy,
I barely survived the fall into love with you.
You can't stand on cloud 9
I was the fool that thought that clouds
were more than water.

Are you a friend of his?
No, we don't know each other.
Not anymore.
Jun 2014 · 361
Loneliness
I never thought my heart could be as
empty
as your words.
Jun 2014 · 239
The Secret is Revealed
Everyone says that life goes on
but what they really mean is that your heart keeps beating.
Even if they are the shallowest beats
I learned that the day I lost you
and well,
part of me.
But you also taught me that two heartbeats can be explosive
although after the explosion your blood turns in to stone preserving the pain left in ones self.
I'm petrified
of moving on.

It is inhumane getting a taste of heaven
because then Earth always feels like Hell.

They say if you you love something let it go and if its meant to be it will come back.
So where the **** are you?
here's a secret

I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those girls who turned so sad
so young
but
I am.

My poem isn't suppose to end like this,
nothing is suppose to end like this
not with this much pain and emptiness.




*no one ever comes back
I love you.
Jun 2014 · 453
Does Life Really Go On?
I haven't really been good about the whole love thing sense you left,
I think I am
until it's over,
and then I realize that it was never really there with anyone
but you.
Maybe I'm just looking for the pieces you took from me.
Maybe I'm just looking for you.
The only things I have left are shattered memories that cut my hands open when I try to piece them back together.
I suppose it is my fault,
I never did ask if you would still love me in the morning
then morning came and went for far to long
and I understood you never loved me at all.
I wish I had the strength to say I never liked you anyway
but I was never very good at lying.
I don't think you understand the significance that
if given the choice
out of 7 billion people,
I would choose you every time.
I just want to *******
hold you.
All I have ever asked of you is to stay,
just stay,
and that's all I every will.
But you can't make anyone stay
all you can do
is ask them not to leave.
I dreamed about someone loving me long ago and when I saw it wasn't you it became a  nightmare.
You broke my heart.
Fair and square no loopholes.
You egged my heart on to climb a mountain
and when if got to the top you just pushed it off the edge.
As I fell you told me I could
fly
you never believed that
but you had to do something to make yourself feel better.
I was in love with you,
I am in love with you.
Even the most terrible devilish parts of you.
You were my best friend,
yes were
and now when I look at you I feel as though you are a person I have never meant
never spoken a word to.
When months ago I spilled my heart out to you
slept beside you
felt loneliness beside you.
The worst kind of loss is the one where the person that is never really gone.
You still hurt me every day when I can feel your coldness across the room.
Your thoughts whispering I will never miss you at all.
Me begging for you to remember the beautiful thing we had.
You told me things that no one will ever know
things deep inside of you.
Once you told me I was the only person who has made you feel beautiful
and that is the word for you,
beautiful.
I noticed the things no one else would
I still do.
You're hurting today,
I can see it
think back to the memories
because every single one of them was
sheerly wonderful.
The way you reacted when  I would call you at 2 a.m. when I needed you.
Now I fear to say hello to you in the hallway.
The tired voice you had when you woke up at 2 a.m and Skype was still running
telling me that I should get some sleep.


I have never missed anyone like I miss you.
Missing you smile,
how you would fall asleep talking to me,
how you always knew how to fix things,
your tenderness.
Looking at you today I never would have known that any of that was there.
An you know,
it scares me that maybe
it isn't.
Come back to me..
Jun 2014 · 309
Elise #2
Dear Elise,
       YOU
are the person who has made one of the strongest impacts in my life.
I am not saying it to be sweet or to make anyone happy,
I am saying it because deep within the deepest part of every crevasse of my heart, I believe it.
I believe that I wouldn’t be here with out you,
my fragile body would have finally sighed and been glad it's all over.
You have made me a stronger, better, more loving, person then I ever thought I could be.
You teach me things without knowing that your influencing me at all.
When you do that full hearted laugh, when your kindness bounces off every wall in the room, when you find happiness and beauty in everything you see.
You have taught me that I can walk so tall no matter how much weight is on my shoulders.
You taught me that love is stupid but I will find it one day,
and that I will keep it with me everywhere I go.
You taught me that everything has beauty and if you don't see it the first time you look at it, you're not looking hard enough.
You tried to tuck every little pice of pain I had in to little jars.
You cut your hands on the broken pieces of my heart while you helped me.
You gave me hope.
While everyone in this world in loosing their minds you were there keeping my head on strait,
holding me while I cry invisible tears and knowing when I’m upset even when I insist that i’m not.
I was broken,
and you know
I still am.
But not nearly as much.
You
saved
me.
Thank you Elise,
thank you for teaching me that I don’t need anyone but you,
thank you for teaching me that I’m beautiful,
that I will be happy someday.
Thank you Elise,
for saving my life.
I spent far too long existing but never really living.
My friend asked me to write a letter to someone who has strongly impacted my life to help with her Phycology work.  Little did she know it would be addressed to her.
Jun 2014 · 444
Expressionless Impressions
I hope that one day I'll give you the wrong impression of me
maybe that will be the day I'll make you happy.
Jun 2014 · 315
Starry Night
Life *****.
As I lay here gazing up at the ceiling
I wonder where all the stars have gone.
The things that make life worth living,
that you wish on with the deepest part of every crevasse in your heart
where whats left of your child hood hides away
from the cold devouring everything else around it.
Take a minute to realize
that everything happens all at once or not at all.
It seems as though one day I woke up with an ache in my back and a darkness in my once lively eyes.
As a child I was brought up on a single phrase,
"Shoot for the Stars"
but what if the stars live in your head?
Look around and ask where they have gone,
the stars you once saw inhabiting others eyes;
people who had whole galaxies were wiped away
by this black hole we call society.
Do you believe in black holes?
Do you believe in the Milky Way?
Do you believe in nothingness?
The best people are the ones who died with starlight in their eyes
shooting it out of their crowded brain.
I'm sorry to all of those who have already had their light burnt out.


It seems as though one day or another
we all find ourselves staring at the ceiling
wondering where all the stars have gone.
Who is to say there is no life in space?
May 2014 · 203
Back to the Past
I wish we could go back
to the days when my smile was real and
I'm fine
meant I was ******* okay.
I wish we could go back
to when I was your everything
because you're still mine.
I wish we could go back to when my laugh
was your duct tape
and your smile was my glue.
We were always good at holding each other together.
Go back to the time
where her name on your lips
wasn't poison entering my ears.
To when it wasn't so hard to hold on
because I had more to hold on to.
I wish we could go back
to  the time where the love outweighed
the pain.
Back to when
it wasn't so hard to refuse to fight for the only thing that matters.
To when  
I didn't feel completely alone
and if I did you would tell me to look at the stars
and remind me that we shared them
we shared the same skies.
I wish we could go back to when
there wasn't so much about you you hid from me.
I wasn't there to break your walls.
I wish we could go back to the time when you loved me.
May 2014 · 707
Hate Me
Hate me
Hate the way I'm demanding
Hate me
Hate the way I sing all the time
Hate me
Hate how I write poetry about everything that bothers me
Hate me
Hate how I am so dramatic
Hate me
Hate how my family still says hello to you because I have not told them yet
Hate me
Hate how I gave all my love to you and you decided that it 'got old'
Hate me
Hate how I make you the villain
Hate me
Hate how I am still in love with you
Hate me
Hate how I hate her
Hate me
Hate the memories we shared
Hate me
Hate how I wish you would have killed me
Hate me
Hate the time you wasted on me
Hate me
Hate how I would still travel the Earth to find the love that we lost
Hate me
Hate how no matter how much I try I will never ever fall out of love with you

Hate me
Hate is such a vile word
Hate me
Hate me
Hate me
but remember I was the person that you one loved
I'm sorry.
May 2014 · 392
Storms
I try my best to be what you wish for.
I try to be a little more quiet and a little less sad.
You tell me I'm like a hurricane,
but I think it's beautiful when it rains.
Apr 2014 · 728
Water
Often times when I am feeling down
I seem to ask myself the same question.
Is my glass half full or half empty?
Well I came to the conclusion
that I don't give a **** how much water is in my glass
I care where it is.
If my glass is over in Europe it wont do me any good
and I'll have to go on dehydrated and tired.
And if you take my glass away from me
ill use the shattered pieces of my heart
and the fire in my soul
to melt the pieces down and create a new one.
No, I wont feel bad for myself
or let myself be angry with the world
when others are swimming in oceans of bottled water
or the people who water their plants;
because maybe they haven't been broken yet,
maybe they don't have to use their tears just to
prevent themselves from drying out.
It is not them to blame for living in a rain forest and not a desert.
I will use my tears to give me water
and clutch the cup close to my chest
leading my own way.
It doesn't always rain when you want it to.
Because if I have learned one thing now it's that
sometimes
you have to find your own **** water.
So lady's and gentlemen, where is your glass today?
Apr 2014 · 846
My Body
My body says ***** I'm proud.
It says I am armed with love and affection
and you better watch out before I pop you in the mouth.
My eyes say I only see the good in people
so don't make me regret looking at you;
they say yeah kid, I just saw you pick your nose.
My breast say I ain't measured in acres for a reason
I'm not property.
My mouth says I will be loud and I will be proud
if you don't like it then buy some **** earplugs.
My legs say that I play sports and
I was not made to impress you;
they say I carry woman on top of me
and I will bring her to the end of the earth;
they say,
I will not spread just because you asked me to.
My **** says I don't see no tail sprouting out anywhere
so I'd appreciate it if you would stop calling me like a domestic animal.
My body says the F word.
Feminism.
It says that I have had too many hands laid on me
without my permission;
it says that just because I don't have something dangling between my legs
does not mean I was asking for it,
it says that I can do the same job a man can do
so where is my pay?
My breast say that I shouldn't have to wear a turtle neck
when I go for a run,
they say my boss should keep his eyes to himself.
My mouth says I am 15 years old and I have learned to scream for help
do not tell me to be quiet.
My legs say I can't run faster than a grown man
and I shouldn't have to;
they say that I should be able to wear shorts in my
own **** school.
My **** says
this is not a 2 way street
exit only.
My body says
I   am  **equal
The night I decided I wanted to die
was a bit too much like tonight.
I like you like I like poetry.
I like the fact that your confusing but always beautiful.
How some words fall from your mouth like cannon *****
and others float like feathers.
I like what you are composed of
so many ideas with never ending potential.
How you are insecure about everything you bring to the table
but shock people when reveal your feast of knowledge.
I like the rhythm you breathe in and
how yours lips touch your heart
bringing love
to your eyes
in tiny dump trucks.
I like you because you are ******* beautiful
not the way you look
but the way you can be read.
The most beautiful brown hair binding
and sweetest scent.
You
are
so
unique
I like you like I like poetry
maybe even a bit more.
You told me that you hate poetry but you are the most beautiful poem I have even seen. Take the time to read, love.
Apr 2014 · 565
Living In The Little Things
When I die look for me.
You will see me in the ocean, in the dark more perpetual parts talking to the fish about their families.
In a volcano sputtering and spouting across my words heating up until I explode.
You will see me kissing the moon at midnight and falling from the sky the next morning.
I'll be the hum in your room that never seems to go away.
The air underneath your wings when you fly.
The blood in your heart when you fall in love.
I will be the chill you get when you hear a moving poem
or the music you hear in the greatest orchestra.
You will feel me try to kiss you in the small electric shocks you get from dragging your feet across the carpet.
When you cry you will feel me try to hold you.
When you move on you will feel me walking beside you.
So when I die look for me
because I know
I will love you long after I'm gone.
Mar 2014 · 292
Let My Death Be Peaceful
Push me harder
please
push me over the edge
let me believe I'm flying.
Tell everyone it was an accident
let them cry at my funeral
while you sit there with a vacant stare because
"you don't cry".
Tell them it was a suicide
and you did everything you could
after all
I am the sad girl.
Visit my mother
and tell her I love her
and that I'm a bird now.
Visit my father
tell him he missed his chance
make sure he will be there for his new little girl.
Bury me with music playing
silence would trap my soul in my body.
Give everything I have to someone who will appreciate it.
Don't tell anyone
about how you broke me
don't tell them that I was going to die
from the wounds that you inflicted upon me anyways
don't tell them you were the final straw.
Let life after my death be peaceful
and remind people to look for the beautiful things
the world has to offer.
These are my last wishes
I can only hope the one day you will find the mercy to **** me.
I had a rough night tonight.
Dear you know who are,
I've been lying
thinking that maybe it would change the way I feel.
Maybe if I told enough people I was over you
I would really start to feel that way.
Maybe all the hurtful words you hurl like throwing knives
would hurt less if I
said they did.
I saw pain in your eyes when you saw me with another
and how I wish I could take every bit of it away.
Yes
he is wonderful
and would never shoot a harmful word my way
but he isn't you.
Do you see the way I am begging for you to
tell me you miss me
to hear words that don't seem to be part of your vocabulary
I'm sorry.
Maybe I like the way you hurt me
maybe I need it to keep me going.
Giving me horizontal cuts on my heart instead of my wrist.
My friends look at me like a I'm wounded puppy when I say
I'm over you
because even they know
you are my soul now.
Deep down in the blackest pit of my duct tape repaired heart
I know that we will never be.
We will always be the pieces that fit
perfectly together
but belong to different puzzles.
Sometimes things that are made for each other
never get the chance to be together
they live their whole lives just missing each other
like the sun and the moon
kissing the stars and wondering why they have not found love.
Someone once told me that if you say something
three times in a row it becomes true.
I'm over you
I'm over you
I'm over you

They were wrong.
P.S. I bet you don't even know who this is.
Mar 2014 · 571
Dear Dad
Dear Dad,
I'm so glad your home.
Dear Dad,
Come play with me!
Dear Dad,
I hate those silver cans you have, you always get so angry with them.
Dear Dad,
Why is mom crying? She is way to beautiful to cry. Save her.
Dear Dad,
You didn't tell me you loved me on the phone today. Have I done something?
Dear Dad,
Why haven't you been home?
Dear Dad,
I wish I could see you more, we have a lot to catch up on.
Dear Dad,
I have a new boyfriend, I think you'd like him.
Dear Dad
I'm sorry I missed your call last night, I didn't recognize your number.
Dear Dad,
We are drifting apart
Dear Dad,
Don't you dare tell me I'm like my mother because I couldn't ask to be raised by a better person. Remember she is doing your job too.
Dear Dad,
You're right, we have problems, but you did this to us.
Dear Dad,
Stay out of here, the bruises can fade away, but the memories will stain the once white curtains of my childhood.
Dear Dad,
You are a man, get off your knees and realize that "Sorry" is just a word.
Dear Dad,
It's to late now.
To all the men with daughters, cherish them. Innocence fades from their eyes way to quickly and sometimes they can't get it back.
Mar 2014 · 474
Anthony
You will see him observing,
because that's what the best people do
Observe.
Inhaling everything you say and exhaling a new perspective
giving it life.
He breathes in a way not many people know how to,
you wouldn't know unless you took the time to listen.
Not everyone is an open book, sometimes you have to take the time to flip the page
and I am glad I did.
He is one of the only people who knows the right time to let go but never lets you fall.
And if you do fall,
he will be there to give you company on the way down.

You will see him wearing a leather jacket with a guitar in hand
showing everyone up without playing a singular note.
Sharing his orchestra through the power of 6 strings
he moves you without you leaving your seat.
Talent buzzes through his mind in to his fingertips and out his mouth
surround you in an aroma of Italian food and rock music.

You see him standing like an oak tree beside his friends
always giving them something to lean on
even if they don't deserve it.

You will see him when you need him,
cheering you on in a simple wave of his hand.
Giving you his courage for the time you need it,
even if he knows you will do fine without it.

You will see him on the screen of your laptop
reminding you
that he will help you.

You will see him telling me about his favorite movies
just like he did in out first conversation ever.

You will see him when no one else bothers to help you
always.

You will see him observing
because that's what the best people do.
I never really understood the phrase 'heartbreak'
until I had the pleasure of you
ripping
my heart out
and smashing it to the ground.
I have a friend who never seems to forget to tell me
I’m worth it
or that I’m strong.
She reminds me not to rely on anyone
but I believe I am starting to rely on her.
I have a friend who reassures me that the tunnel
is getting brighter
even when I refuse to open my eyes.
When I tell her my glass is half empty
she turns the whole world upside down
and we hang like bats together
seeing it the other way.
She taught me that the I'm not ugly
the world is.
I have a friend who saves my life every day
without even knowing it.
Who can shoot insults harmlessly
and never make me feel more loved.
She listens to the far too familiar words about
the same boy
same school
same people
and always acts like each story is new
freezing the camera and changing my perspective.
I have a friend who sends butterfly kisses through the mail
when I’m feeling down.
Who is willing to cuss out any person ballsy enough to mess with
our family of two.
She taught me to laugh until I cried
but we always cry together.
I have a friend who reminds me I’m enough
even when I’m not.
I have a perfect friend and I fear I don’t tell her that enough.
This one is for my three best friends, Elise, Mallory and Olivia.Thank you. I wouldn't be here without you. I owe my life to you.
Mar 2014 · 293
Are You Sure You Know Me?
And when I die,
don't you dare
stand at my grave and weep
for someone you didn't even know.
Mar 2014 · 387
Cream and Sugar Please
I wake up in the morning and walk across the cold floors
and that's all they are,
cold floors.
As the coffee in my hand depletes so does my hope
and when it's empty that's when I realize it.
It's the moment in time where
I can't morph things in to what I want them to be,
and the cold floors are not the only things that bother me anymore.
It takes time to realize that he might never love me,
I guess I'm hoping for a Cinderella story that will never come true.
No one ever talks about the princess who was left in her tower,
so we like to believe she doesn't exist.
Each drop of coffee that contacts my lips is a reminder,
to run as fast as I can and get out of here.
But I never bring myself to leave and I find that I always open my eyes in the same place.
I think hurt wakes me sometimes,
although in that moment before coffee is in my system I'm numb
and it is wonderful,
but nothing is worse than waking up in the morning
and seeing an empty coffee mug.
I don't usually write in the morning.
More and more often
I find myself dreaming about
the way you don't look at me.
Maybe the world likes to
place the best things under arrest in our dreams
where nothing can ruin them,
maybe when we die we go to live in them.
I can only hope that you will still look at me
like a man seeing his new born baby girl
for the first time
or a blind soul
finally getting to see the world,
a child in the first snow fall,
ones face after their first kiss.
Trust me,
I would do anything to see the way you don't look at me.
My nightmares are waking up to a world where you don't look at me like you do in my dreams.
Feb 2014 · 3.4k
Forgot To Love Myself
Maybe the reason I hate myself so much
is because I gave all my love to you.
As I sit here trying to write a poem, this is all that comes to me. Giving all your love away is a big risk because you don't always get love back.
Feb 2014 · 491
Depression
Depression is so much more then the contemplation of suicide,
more than being sad,
depression is emptiness.
Have you ever choked on silence
or
felt alone in a crowded room?
Have you ever tried to catch up
only to realize that time waits for no one?
Do you see people staring at you,
chewing you up, ******* the life out of you,  
and spitting you right back out
without laying a single hand on you?
People tell you that everyone falls down,
but I seem to be hitting the floor so hard
that my demons think someone is knocking on their door.
Depression is screaming at the nothingness
because even that is attacking you.
It is having not only others but your own mind reminding you
of how worthless you are.
I was taught to swim as a child,
but not with the anchors of so much hurt begging me to sink to rock bottom.
I try to look at the cup as half full,
but what do you say when it's completely empty?
What do you say to someone who hurts so much that they think it's okay?
Who has a disease that physically rips them apart on the inside, but never enough to **** them
nor has no rhyme or reason to their sadness.
Oh God,
depression is oh so much more than the contemplation of suicide.
I think it's about time to write about my depression. I hope to God none of you can relate to this.
The only thing worse than killing someone
is hurting them so badly
they wish you would.
Feb 2014 · 568
Shocking Life Lessons
Television never taught me that
sometimes
he doesn't love you back.
You can only learn some things electronically.
There was a boy I saw in the halls,
he was beautiful.
There was a boy I saw smile,
and I tried to keep from hiccuping my butterflies.
There was a boy who sat next to me in class,
our hands touched.
There was a boy who asked me out today,
the first time.
There was a boy whom I kissed,
like I had never kissed anyone else.
There was a boy who I gave everything to,
trust should be earned, not guaranteed.
There was a boy who shattered my heart,
now the pieces remain swept under the rug.  
There was a boy I thought I loved,
but I had no idea who he was.
There was a boy, and I never saw him again,
at least not the same way.
Some lessons need to be learned the hard way.
Feb 2014 · 460
Murder is Murder
**** me with my own weapon and call it suicide.
Feb 2014 · 343
I Didn't Want to Write This
Anytime I make progress
I just a quickly fall back to the place I was before.
Someone once told me,
if you were deciding on if you should
keep someone in your life
or not,
weigh the decisions.
Do they make your life better or worse?
Deciding you made my life worse,
I would just kick you out of it.
Until I realized it was me,
me who was making my life worse.
One can't kick themselves out of their own life,
but they sure as hell can try.
Maybe if they were to
cut deep enough
cry hard enough
scream loud enough
their body will abandon them
taking advice on leaving things
when they make your life
worse.
This isn't a poem... this is a relapse.
"Does it get easier?"

Seeing a text from you
never gets easier
You're clothes still have the
agonizing
smell of you
The spot on the beach
where you told me
you loved me
still stings
Your side of the bed
burns me
I still have to drive
around the
wrong
side of town
so I can be sure
not to
see your house
Every once and awhile
I swear
I can feel your arms around me
so yeah
after time
the feelings
don't shock you so much
but no
it never gets easier
you just get use to it

"Yeah, it does."
I don't know where this came from.
Feb 2014 · 706
Stop.
You're killing me.
Feb 2014 · 1.2k
More than an Oxygen Tank
I like to talk
you know that
Words tend to fall from my mouth like a poem
Speaking is a soulful release
but with you it's not like that
Talking to you is glorious
but listening to you
is magical
Hearing you speak
is hypnotizing
Every word that you say
carries like a note on a bass guitar
Your smile causes sparks on the wood floors of my heart
warming it with a fire
It hurts
to know something so beautiful
is breathing
You hiccup life in to people
giving people color after they have turned grey
But I would love to turn grey with you
Once I was told my body doesn't work like it's suppose to
I tend to inhale what harms me
and exhale what I need
although
I think you taught me to breathe again.
I have too much time to think about you.
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